The Surprising Adventures of Baron Munchausen. Rudolf Raspe
and conscience of a good
sportsman, I hardly know whether there may not have been formerly, or
whether there are not such crossed stags even at this present day. But
let me rather tell what I have seen myself. Having one day spent all my
shot, I found myself unexpectedly in presence of a stately stag, looking
at me as unconcernedly as if he had known of my empty pouches. I charged
immediately with powder, and upon it a good handful of cherry-stones,
for I had sucked the fruit as far as the hurry would permit. Thus I let
fly at him, and hit him just on the middle of the forehead, between his
antlers; it stunned him – he staggered – yet he made off. A year or two
after, being with a party in the same forest, I beheld a noble stag with
a fine full grown cherry-tree above ten feet high between his antlers.
I immediately recollected my former adventure, looked upon him as my
property, and brought him to the ground by one shot, which at once
gave me the haunch and cherry-sauce; for the tree was covered with the
richest fruit, the like I had never tasted before. Who knows but some
passionate holy sportsman, or sporting abbot or bishop, may have shot,
planted, and fixed the cross between the antlers of St. Hubert’s stag,
in a manner similar to this? They always have been, and still are,
famous for plantations of crosses and antlers; and in a case of distress
or dilemma, which too often happens to keen sportsmen, one is apt to
grasp at anything for safety, and to try any expedient rather than
miss the favourable opportunity. I have many times found myself in that
trying situation.
What do you say of this, for example? Daylight and powder were spent one
day in a Polish forest. When I was going home a terrible bear made up
to me in great speed, with open mouth, ready to fall upon me; all my
pockets were searched in an instant for powder and ball, but in vain; I
found nothing but two spare flints: one I flung with all my might into
the monster’s open jaws, down his throat. It gave him pain and made him
turn about, so that I could level the second at his back-door, which,
indeed, I did with wonderful success; for it flew in, met the first
flint in the stomach, struck fire, and blew up the bear with a terrible
explosion. Though I came safe off that time, yet I should not wish to
try it again, or venture against bears with no other ammunition.
There is a kind of fatality in it. The fiercest and most dangerous
animals generally came upon me when defenceless, as if they had a notion
or an instinctive intimation of it. Thus a frightful wolf rushed upon me
so suddenly, and so close, that I could do nothing but follow mechanical
instinct, and thrust my fist into his open mouth. For safety’s sake
I pushed on and on, till my arm was fairly in up to the shoulder.
How should I disengage myself? I was not much pleased with my awkward
situation – with a wolf face to face; our ogling was not of the most
pleasant kind. If I withdrew my arm, then the animal would fly the more
furiously upon me; that I saw in his flaming eyes. In short, I laid hold
of his tail, turned him inside out like a glove, and flung him to the
ground, where I left him.
The same expedient would not have answered against a mad dog, which soon
after came running against me in a narrow street at St. Petersburg. Run
who can, I thought; and to do this the better, I threw off my fur cloak,
and was safe within doors in an instant. I sent my servant for the
cloak, and he put it in the wardrobe with my other clothes. The day
after I was amazed and frightened by Jack’s bawling, «For God’s sake,
sir, your fur cloak is mad!» I hastened up to him, and found almost all
my clothes tossed about and torn to pieces. The fellow was perfectly
right in his apprehensions about the fur cloak’s madness. I saw him
myself just then falling upon a fine full-dress suit, which he shook and
tossed in an unmerciful manner.
CHAPTER V
_The effects of great activity and presence of mind – A favourite hound
described, which pups while pursuing a hare; the hare also litters while
pursued by the hound – Presented with a famous horse by Count Przobossky,
with which he performs many extraordinary feats._
All these narrow and lucky escapes, gentlemen, were chances turned
to advantage by presence of mind and vigorous exertions, which, taken
together, as everybody knows, make the fortunate sportsman, sailor,
and soldier; but he would be a very blamable and imprudent sportsman,
admiral, or general, who would always depend upon chance and his stars,
without troubling himself about those arts which are their particular
pursuits, and without providing the very best implements, which insure
success. I was not blamable either way; for I have always been as
remarkable for the excellency of my horses, dogs, guns, and swords, as
for the proper manner of using and managing them, so that upon the whole
I may hope to be remembered in the forest, upon the turf, and in the
field. I shall not enter here into any detail of my stables, kennel, or
armoury; but a favourite bitch of mine I cannot help mentioning to you;
she was a greyhound, and I never had or saw a better. She grew old in
my service, and was not remarkable for her size, but rather for her
uncommon swiftness. I always coursed with her. Had you seen her you must
have admired her, and would not have wondered at my predilection, and
at my coursing her so much. She ran so fast, so much, and so long in my
service, that she actually ran off her legs; so that, in the latter part
of her life, I was under the necessity of working and using her only as
a terrier, in which quality she still served me many years.
Coursing one day a hare, which appeared to me uncommonly big, I pitied
my poor bitch, being big with pups, yet she would course as fast as
ever.