Alaskan Christmas Cold Case. Sarah Varland
because he’d never heard that before. “For three years.” It was a statement, not a question.
“You wouldn’t understand.” Janie looked at Erynn.
Erynn met her gaze.
And not his? How well did she know this person? They didn’t strike him as friends. Someone from far back in her past?
“Why did you come here?” Noah asked.
“Because I’m tired of knowing that he’s still out there, that he could get away with more crimes. I’m tired of looking over my shoulder, of wondering if I’m going to cost anyone else their life.”
“Are you saying the woman in the glacier is dead because of you?” Noah spoke up again, glanced at Erynn, who had stayed quiet. She’d turned into an observer.
Janie shook her head. “No. But I may end up dead because of her. And I’m worried that if I do...Erynn will end up dead because of me. I needed to come here, needed to make sure she had all the information so she could find him, make him stop.”
“No one’s going to let you be killed,” Noah said.
“It’s not a promise you can make, I’m afraid.”
“Why don’t you tell us what you came to say and then let us do our best?”
He watched the woman consider. Waited.
And wondered why someone would be after Erynn.
If she could go back, if she could undo the last near decade of silence, Erynn would do it. But she’d always believed life should be lived looking forward, not backward.
Too bad that’s not how you’ve been living.
She listened to Noah question Janie, listened to Janie’s explanations, while she ran through the list of possible suspects in her mind, knowing her chances of landing on one that stuck weren’t good since the Anchorage Police Department and the State Troopers had tried back then.
Come up empty.
And then her father had been killed. An Anchorage police officer, he’d been investigating the Foster Kid Murders...the killings they’d thought had claimed the lives of three other victims at the time. Five total. Erynn had worried the murderer had claimed Janie’s life, as well.
Erynn blinked, tried to focus on the present and the conversation, reminded herself that she wasn’t to blame for her father’s death. Mack Cooper had been investigating the case even before he’d adopted her, which was why the Anchorage Police Department hadn’t considered his involvement a conflict of interest. He’d adopted her later, and had told her that were it not for the serial killer case, he and his wife might never have looked into adopting from foster care. They’d wanted her, they’d both emphasized that over and over, and in her heart, Erynn knew that her dad wouldn’t have gone back and changed a thing. Still, guilt stabbed deep. He had given his life to protect her, for those like her. It packed a punch, even this many years later.
And Erynn missed him.
She listened to their voices, tried to distract herself from the flood of emotions threatening to wash over her. They’d gone quiet after Noah had asked Janie what she’d come to tell them. Waited as Janie considered whether she was ready to.
“I was living in Kenai three years ago when I got a message from a friend in Anchorage. Michelle Holt.”
Erynn knew who she meant. She’d known Michelle even less than she’d known Janie, but she remembered the two of them being close back in high school.
She glanced at Noah, feeling for once that his eyes weren’t on her. He had been looking at her strangely since he’d come in; she guessed she didn’t blame him. She was far from her usual self today. Right now, though, his gaze was on Janie and he was waiting for her to continue, not asking anything.
A smart move. She’d have done the same in his shoes. He was handling this well. She should have known he would.
Well, up until he found out the full truth about Erynn. No one knew how he’d handle that.
“The message said she was in danger. She’d been working in Seward for the summer and I knew she needed my help. I went to Seward, found her before he did.”
“He?”
“I’m getting there. Please don’t interrupt.
“I managed to find her first and we talked. She told me he was after her, that he’d left her messages, talked about finding the rest of the kids from his list—though we were adults by that time—and finishing what he’d started.”
Erynn could have thrown up. Probably would have if there had been a trash can within reach. Instead she took a deep breath and willed her stomach and the rest of her to hold it together. She’d known what it probably meant when Janie had walked in. But she hadn’t been sure.
Turned out knowing in this case was much, much worse than not knowing.
“What list?” Noah asked. Erynn felt every muscle tense, tried to do one of the breathing exercises she’d learned years back.
Erynn felt Janie’s eyes on her. Refused to meet her look as Janie continued, “Someone was killing foster kids.”
“When?”
“Years ago,” Janie continued. “Then he stopped. Went silent and I guess we let our guard down. That’s when he came after me and Michelle. I never heard from her, after she warned me. I suspect she’s the one the media referred to as the Ice Maiden. The one you thought was me.”
Noah was nodding, a quick glance at him confirmed. Erynn looked away before he could see her staring.
Janie continued. “I told her we should call the police, but she reminded me that it would just put them in danger. At least one officer was killed investigating the case when it was making news and hot. I’m not sure if the police ever said his death was related, but those of us the Foster Kid Killer was after, we knew.”
Her dad. Erynn stood. Left the room to be sick. She could not hear Janie’s words from where she was in the bathroom. She’d have more questions from Noah to answer. But she’d not be able to help it.
Her forehead was hot and her heartbeat pounded in her ears. Breathe in, breathe out, she reminded herself as she’d had to do in the days after her father’s death when it had all seemed like too much. She reached for the sink knob, turned on the cold water and splashed her face.
Breathed in. Breathed out. And walked back into the lobby, not sure she was ready to hear anything else. But knowing she couldn’t hide forever.
This had proven that.
“What else can you tell me about the killer?”
“He...” Janie trailed off. “There’s not much I know, to be honest, just suspicions. Speculations. I always wondered if he’d met us personally. Maybe it always feels personal when someone is after you and your friends. But I wondered.”
“Have you seen him? Anything you know, we could use as a solid lead.”
“No.”
“We’ll need to put you in protective custody,” Noah was saying even as Janie shook her head.
Erynn had known she would. That’s the kind of woman Janie was. Once her mind was made up, there’d be no changing it.
“I’m going back home now. I just thought you should know.”
Could they keep her? Charge her with something that would allow them to keep her safe? Even as the thoughts surfaced, Erynn shrugged them off. It was still a free country and if