The Heavenly Twins. Grand Sarah

The Heavenly Twins - Grand Sarah


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are, Linley Sambourne, that master of lovely line, pointed the moral by drawing women as they should be. There was nothing conventional about the Heavenly Twins, and it was therefore easy to make a good impression upon them in this direction, and, the tutor soon had a practical proof of his success which must have been eminently satisfactory if a trifle embarrassing.

      The children were out on the lawn in front of the house one afternoon when a lady arrived to call upon their mother. They were struck by her appearance as she descended from her carriage, and followed her into the drawing room to have a good look at her. She was one of those heroic women who have the constancy to squeeze their figures in beyond the Y shape, which is the commonest deformity, to that of the hourglass which bulges out more above and below the line of compression.

      There were a good many other people in the room, whom the Heavenly Twins saluted politely; and then they sat down opposite to the object of their interest and gazed at her.

      "Why are you tied so tight in the middle?" Angelica asked at last in a voice that silenced everybody else in the room. "Doesn't it hurt? I mean to have a good figure when I grow up, like the Venus de Medici, you know. I can show you a picture of her, if you like. She hasn't a stitch on her."

      "She looks awfully nice, though," said Diavolo, "and Angelica thinks she'd be able to eat more with that kind of figure."

      "Yes," Angelica candidly confessed, looking at her victim compassionately.

       "I shouldn't think, now, that you can eat both pudding and meat, can you?"

      "Not to mention dessert!" Diavolo ejaculated with genuine concern.

      "Mr. Ellis, will you get those children out of the room, somehow," Lady

       Adeline whispered to the tutor, who had come in for tea.

      "Is it true, do you think," Mr. Ellis began loudly, addressing Mr. Hamilton-Wells across the room—"Is it true that Dr. Galbraith is going to try some horrible experiments in vivisection this afternoon?"

      "What is vivisection?" asked Angelica, diverted.

      "Cutting up live animals to find out what makes them go," said the tutor.

      In three minutes there wasn't a vestige of the Heavenly Twins about the place.

       Table of Contents

      The twins had a code of ethics which differed in some respects from that ordinarily accepted in their state of life. They honoured their mother—they couldn't help it, as they said themselves, apologetically; but their father they looked upon as fair game for their amusement.

      "What was that unearthly noise I heard this morning?" Mr. Ellis asked one day.

      "Oh, did we wake you, sir?" Diavolo exclaimed. "We didn't mean to. We were only yowling papa out of bed with our fiddles. He's idle sometimes, and won't get up, and it's so bad for him, you know."

      "I wish you could see him scooting down the corridor after us," Angelica observed. "And do you know, he speaks just the same at that time of day in his dressing gown, as he does, in the evening in dress clothes. You'd die if you heard him."

      Another habit of the twins was to read any letters they might find lying about.

      "It is dishonourable to read other people's letters," Mr. Ellis admonished them severely when he became aware of this peculiarity.

      "It isn't for us," Angelica answered defiantly. "You might as well say its dishonourable to squint. We've always done it, and everybody knows we do it. We warn them not to leave their letters lying about, don't we, Diavolo?"

      "That is because it is greater fun to hunt for them," Diavolo interpreted precisely. When Angelica gave a reason he usually cleared it of all obscurity in this way.

      "And how are we to know what goes on in the family if we don't read the letters?" Angelica demanded.

      "What necessity is there for you to know?"

      "Every necessity!" she retorted. "Not be interested in one's own family affairs? Why, we should we wanting in intelligence, and we're not that, you know! And we should be wanting in affection, too, and every right feeling; and I hope we are not that either, Mr. Ellis, quite. But you needn't be afraid about your own letters. We shan't touch them."

      "No," drawled Diavolo. "Of course that would be a very different thing."

      "I am glad you draw the line somewhere," Mr. Ellis observed sarcastically. He was far from satisfied, however, but he noticed eventually that the dust collected on letters of his own if he left them lying about, and he soon discovered that when his intelligent pupils gave their word they kept it uncompromisingly. It was one of their virtues, and the other was loyalty to each other. Their devotion to their mother hardly counted for a virtue, because they never carried it far enough to make any sacrifice for her sake. But they would have sacrificed their very lives for each other, and would have fought for the right to die until there was very little left of either of them to execute; of such peculiar quality were their affections.

      They had gone straight to Fountain Towers by the shortest cut across the fields that afternoon when Mr. Ellis suggested vivisection as a possible occupation for Dr. Galbraith. They never doubted but that they should discover him hard at work, in some underground cellar most likely, to which they would be guided by the cries of his victims, and would be able to conquer his reluctance to allow them to assist at his experiments, by threats of exposure; and they were considerably chagrined when, having carefully concealed themselves in a thick shrubbery, in order to reconnoitre the house, they came upon him in the garden, innocently occupied in the idle pursuit of pruning rose trees.

      He was somewhat startled himself when he suddenly saw their hot red faces, set like two moons in a clump of greenery, peeping out at him with animated eyes.

      "Hollo!" he said. "Are you hungry?" The faces disappeared behind the bushes.

      "Are we, Angelica?" Diavolo whispered anxiously.

      "Of course we are," she retorted.

      "I thought we were too angry—disgusted—disappointed—something" he murmured apologetically, but evidently much relieved.

      Dr. Galbraith went on with his pruning, and presently the twins appeared walking down the proper approach to the garden hand in hand demurely.

      After they had saluted their host politely, they stood and stared at him.

      "Well?" he said at last.

      "I suppose we are too late?" said Angelica.

      "For what?" he asked, without pausing in his occupation.

      "For the viv-viv-vivinesectionining."

      "Vivinesectionining! What on earth—Oh!" Light broke in upon him. "Who told you I was?"

      "Mr. Ellis," said Angelica.

      "No, he didn't tell us you were exactly," Diavolo explained with conscientious accuracy. "He asked papa if it was true that you were going to this afternoon?"

      "And what were you doing?" Dr. Galbraith asked astutely.

      "We were in the drawing room," Angelica answered, "trying to find out from a lady why she tied herself up so tight in the middle."

      "And so you came off here to see?"

      "Yes," said Diavolo. "We wanted to catch you at it."

      "You little brute, misbegotten by the—" Dr. Galbraith began, but Diavolo interrupted him.

      "Sir!" he exclaimed, drawing himself up with an expression of as much indignation as could be got into his small patrician features. "If you do not instantly withdraw that calumny, I shall have to fight you on my mother's behalf, and I shall consider it my duty to inform her of the insinuation which


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