Living With Dignity. Anthony Ekanem
a trait we notice in individuals. People’s attitudes towards issues of your interests can significantly influence your perception of their personas, thereby altering one or more of the feelings you will eventually develop for them in the future. Know that attitude does not necessarily have to be accepted. Nevertheless, you must understand the reason for such an attitude to fairly judge it. As free spirits, it is unavoidable that people unfold different attitudes about specific issues.
Must You Accept Everything?
Certainly not! It is important to stress here that you do not necessarily have to accept everything. You don't have to become a doormat at the altar of acceptance. Accepting everything would mean denying the fact that you are a different individual, a person to be respected, and a human being with a will of your own.
You can accept a person without accepting their inappropriate behaviour. For example, you need not accept infidelity in your marriage.
Chapter 2
Acknowledge People
Acknowledgement is the recognition of the importance or quality of something. It is the acceptance of the truth or existence of something. Everyone wants appreciation for their work, experiences, and reality. By recognising your family members, friends, colleagues, customers, and others; it helps you connect with them on a personal level. Acknowledgement is one thing that we don't think about until we notice it is missing.
Most people have one defining need that rarely gets satisfied. Many of us will move heaven and earth to satisfy this need. This need is the single most motivating factor that leads to success. It is the need to feel important. The person who can satisfy this need in others can be very influential and is typically regarded by others as a good leader. You can tell much about an individual by what makes them feel important.
Acknowledging others may seem unimportant in practice, but it pays huge dividends when it is done consistently and sincerely. Maya Angelou once said, "People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." So, what will people remember you for?
We spend plenty of time worshipping people in the media whom we have never met but go about without acknowledging the everyday people in our lives. It is not everyone that will be praised in a public ceremony, yet, you can easily show people that they matter in many different ways, as enumerated in the following paragraphs.
TYPES OF ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
Acknowledgement can fall into three categories, namely:
Character: which includes qualities such as confidence, friendliness, helpfulness, or their physical appearance.
Ability: which includes doing something well or the ease with which someone completes a task.
Influence: which includes someone's ability to motivate or inspire others.
HOW TO ACKNOWLEDGE PEOPLE
When acknowledging people, you should always be authentic. False acknowledgement will not develop confidence nor lead to improved performance nor better relationships.
Below are the most common ways you can acknowledge people in an authentic manner:
Appearance and wellbeing
Appearance is the most common form of acknowledgement. It can feel the most obligatory or superficial. It often happens in social situations, as we compliment someone's outfit, level of physical vitality, or overall design aesthetic.
A skill or talent you admire
As you reflect on how this person does his or her job, what skills and abilities do you see? Consider skills and talents even if they are not an essential part of their job. Do they have any interests outside the office that you admire? Is this person concise and articulate in communication? Can you think of a story that validates this talent? Do they have the ability to resolve conflict without avoiding it? Do they speak other languages?
A quality you wish to emulate
When you interact with this person, what qualities come forward that you admire? Are they patient, optimistic or resilient?
How has this person touched your life?
Have you ever laughed at yourself by working with this person? Has their presence made a problematic task bearable? Are you more tolerant or curious as a result of their influence? People typically give the type of acknowledgements they are most likely to receive from others. Therefore, pay close attention to what this individual affirms in others. If there is friction or conflict, you will have to look long and hard for something to appreciate in another person.
Say "Thank You"
“Thank you” is a little phrase that goes a long way. Acknowledging people is the root of engaging with them and connecting your greatness with their greatness. When you shine a light on another, you bring their soul to your attention. You need to show gratitude for the people in your life. Whether at work, at home or on a special holiday, you can acknowledge people, even though you may be very busy!
Reflect a time when you did something good for someone, and they did not consider it important to acknowledge you with thanks. How did you feel? So, whether it is the waiter handing you your dinner bill or your partner folding your laundry, remember to say "thank you", and mean it. Do not under-estimate the power of those two words when it comes to appreciation and acknowledgement.
Focus on the Positive
It is very natural to point out what other people do wrong rather than what they do right. Next time you are about to criticise someone, stop and think of something good you can say about them instead. Always balance love with positive feedback. Both children and adults need reassurance that they are doing something right in their life.
Give Gifts.
Think of a reason or occasion to give someone a gift outside of a birthday, anniversary or holiday. Or perhaps, have no reason at all – just give! A gift could be a present, a meal, a compliment, an outing or anything extraordinary you do for another person. You don't always have to spend much money to give someone a gift. It could even be a gift of your time or listening.
Speak Your Appreciation.
Have the habit of telling people what you love or appreciate about them. Do not wait until you are at their funeral or after they have left you before you can say good things about them. Say it when it counts the most, and not when it is too late.
Acknowledge work well done regularly. Comments of appreciation can range from the specific like, "The way you handled that client meeting was brilliant," to the general, "I appreciate the great work you do." If you are not used to showing appreciation to other people, start small and then build up. It is the kind of practice that makes everyone feel better.
Use Touch
A good hug or a shoulder rub can be all a person needs to feel like they are appreciated. Touch, when appropriately used, can create a physical, emotional and spiritual connection that is critical at all stages of human life and relationship; from infanthood to adulthood.
Make Eye Contact.
Nothing feels worse than someone who cannot look you in the eyes when they are talking to you. It can make you feel uncomfortable, unwanted and even unimportant in some instances. Proper eye contact shows people that their presence, thoughts and words are important to you. When you are discussing with someone, look them straight in the eye. You are talking to a human being like you, not your phone or your shoes!
Boast in Public.
Famous or not, everyone contributes to this world. If there is someone in your life that you feel should be recognised, do something public about it. It could be a toast during a small dinner gathering or a speech at a big party. What is important is the intent to recognise someone in front of others.
Be