Living With Dignity. Anthony Ekanem
a positive impact on your life. When you feel good, there is the possibility that you would want to pass the good feeling on to the people around you. And these people could also benefit from the positive impact of the acknowledgement you received.
On the other hand, if you are not acknowledged by other people, it could make you feel bad. It could hurt you, and the people around you could also suffer as a result. By feeling bad, you may want to pass on your pains to other people.
And to acknowledge another person, you need to be present so you are able to place your attention on the other person. If you are not present, it will affect your ability to notice how the person looks and to understand what they are saying.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENT BASICS
Eye Contact. Eye contact is important when it comes to making another person feel acknowledged. If this does not exist or you are not consistent with it, it could cause someone to feel ignored or unimportant.
Handshake. Shaking someone else’s hand is another thing you can do to make someone feel acknowledged. Not doing this could make the person feel unimportant or overlooked.
Good Manners. Having and showing good manners can make another person feel respected and important. When this does not happen, they can feel unappreciated and even invisible.
Curiosity. While some people talk openly about what matters to them or what they have achieved, not everyone does. This means that some people are going to give clues as to what they want to be appreciated for, and some people won't. That is why curiosity is important when it comes to acknowledgement of people. If an individual does not open up to you, you need to be interested in what matters to them. And even if they open up, you still need to be curious, or else the conversation may not go far.
Empathy. Being curious is one thing, but if you do not care about other people, you may not go far in life. Empathy means that you can put your own needs and wants aside and focus on the needs of another person. This will connect you with their needs and wants, and you can find out what brings them joy and fulfilment.
Action. You can improve your communication skills by changing how you behave, and this can work well. Another approach is to be interested in what goes on in the life of the people around you, and their behaviour towards you will naturally improve.
If you are not usually with people or are not interested in what goes on in their life, it might feel strange or uncomfortable when you do. However, with time, this will change, and it will soon become your second nature.
Chapter 3
Validate Other People
To validate someone means to acknowledge and accept that person’s thoughts, feelings, ideas and experiences without judging or trying to change the individual.
To live a dignified life, you should learn to validate people for their talents, hard work, thoughtfulness, and the help they render to you or your loved ones. Be generous with praise. Give recognition to people for their contributions, ideas and experiences.
One of the options we often have in any problem situation is that of acceptance. Validation is one way of communicating acceptance of yourself and other people.
Validation does not mean agreeing with an individual or approving of their action. When your friend or a family member, for instance, makes a decision that you do not think is wise, validation is one way of supporting them and strengthening the relationship while at the same time maintaining a different opinion.
Validation is a way of telling someone else that your relationship with them is important and solid even when you disagree with them on some matters. It is recognising and accepting another person's thoughts, feelings, actions and behaviours as understandable.
Self-validation, on the other hand, is the recognition and acceptance of your own thoughts, feelings, sensations and actions as understandable.
HOW TO VALIDATE SOMEONE
Validation involves recognising someone's feelings and acknowledging them as important. In any healthy relationship, it is important to validate someone's feelings when they are upset. You may start by listening and responding in simple terms. From there, you can try to empathise as much as possible.
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