Letters to the Dead: Things I Wish I'd Said. Ann Palmer

      Dear Howard,

      I don’t remember the exact occasion when I met you. It was through my friend, Diane, when the two of you were dating. She was comfortable dating “older men” - I was not, however, I am so grateful that, through her, I had the opportunity to get to know you, share your lovely home on our visits to Palm Springs and work in a one of your productions.

      Diane encouraged me to drive down to Tucson when she was working on your film, “El Dorado.” Since small parts are often added on location, I hoped, by being in Tucson, a part might come up that you would cast me in. Even though I never got to work on “El Dorado” with so few parts for women, you did give me several days work on your movie, “Red line 7000.”

      You were truly one of the great “class acts” of Hollywood as a talented producer and a man who exuded more class than the majority of Hollywood successes - a man of strength and power with sensitivity and kindness and such great dignity.

      John Wayne was also an outstanding gentleman. I still have the autographed photo that he gave me hanging on my wall. I recall one day when I was sitting in the mess tent at the far end of the same table where he sat, an entourage of Princess Margaret’s came into the tent to meet him. With his introduction to the group, he turned and motioned toward me saying “Have you met Miss Palmer?” I was flabbergasted! He certainly did not have to include me but for me it proved what a gentle person and gentleman he was.

      You won’t believe one of the things that stand out most prominently in my memory of you - your hand carved bar stools that you so carefully explained how you had carved with precision to fit the sitters back side! They were beautiful bar stools with the obvious fine craftsmanship that went into their creation. To think of a man of your stature directing your concentration intently on carving a piece of wood to fit a person’s bottom was amazing to me! We had such a good time when visiting your Palm Springs home.

      Everyone who knew me knew about my overwhelming crush on Rock Hudson. You too, were willing to attempt a meeting for me. You tried to get him to come down to your house for a weekend visit and also have Diane and me there so that I could have time with him. Again, it failed, just as John Guedel’s plan failed when planning to get him on Art Linkletter’s “House Party” TV show for the purpose of having me in the audience and Art calling on me to come up on stage to meet him. I would have died of embarrassment if that had happened.

      You did manage to get your script supervisor, Bruce Kessler, down for a weekend when we were there. Bruce was no Rock Hudson but at least he wasn’t gay. We liked each other and dated a bit through the next few years.

      I am so glad I had an opportunity to really get to know you personally, especially the many times in Palm Springs where you were relaxed, free to be open and yourself. I so enjoyed hearing you talk about experiences you had through your many years of film making, the stars that you discovered and was behind their success as actors. You were such a successful producer long before I was born and certainly were one of the foundations the film industry was built upon. Your brilliance is never to be forgotten or your dry wit. Howard, I will always remember you with tremendous respect and admiration for your many talents, for being a fantastic host, for who you were and most of all your, dignity.