Get More. Joby Slay
Jake didn’t play a lick of lacrosse as a kid, but Jake is a competitor. We used to play intramural sports against each other in college, so I know. Many times in coaching I’ll lose a battle to win the war. Jake is going to try to win all the battles and the war.
He probably never played soccer as a kid. I’ve been playing all my life. The first year my son was playing pee-wee soccer, we were in the playoff finals of five- and six-year-old coed soccer. I’ll never forget it, because it was so fascinating. Our teams were in the finals, and I had a good team. They had been fantastic all season. I think the only time we lost was when we were missing players and playing down a man. We were in this championship finals game against Jake’s team. Now again, we are talking about mostly five- and six-year-olds, so this was like super fun, and we were just having a great time of it as players, coaches, and parents. There were some rules on substitutions, I think, at the time, or maybe we had our own internal rules—can’t recall exactly—but what I remember is his strategy. Every time I subbed a couple of my better players out, he would immediately sub all his best players back in. I mean, I noticed this within the first couple of times it happened. He had scouted us and worked out a strategy, a winning strategy, in five- to six-year-olds recreational soccer to win the championship in a sport he never played. It still makes me laugh.
Fast-forward ten years, and Jake becomes the lacrosse coach at The King’s Academy, probably a year or two before I’m hired, having never picked up a stick, or whatever they call it, until maybe his kids got interested and started playing. Jake is coaching against former Division I and professional lacrosse players now turned coaches at schools with very deep lacrosse programs and a lot of financial support. In 2018, he takes a team of freshmen and a couple of soccer kids from our team who had never played lacrosse and goes almost undefeated. I think it was 17 wins and 2 losses in his third season coaching lacrosse. The team he lost to twice was the number one ranked team in the state by Maxpreps at the time and finished the past two seasons as the number four ranked team in the state. Again, he has never played this game. This past season he goes across the state and defeats the IMG boys’ lacrosse team. IMG kids are paying thousands of dollars—sorry, tens of thousands of dollars—a year to be trained by the best lacrosse coaches in the country with the idea that they can get into the top D1 colleges and play professionally, and they probably will. Jake’s kids win!
What I observed in Jake years ago is that he understands how to motivate kids and he’s passionate about doing it. He makes sure that they take ownership and responsibility for their actions on and off the field; models respect; and keeps his eye on the prize. He’s a massive encourager, keeping players accountable, and empowers the kids to get more! He’s obviously learned more about the game and prepared himself further through study and the people he brings in around him, but he has to empower and inspire those people to be creative and imaginative and achieve more because they play the game better than he ever has. He wins more because he gets more out of his talent than the coaches with more talent. I’ll say it again. He wins more because he gets more out of his talent—his players—than the coaches with more talented players. IMG should technically have a team with more talented players, more resources, and more time to develop their athletes. Give Jake a competitive synchronized swimming or water polo team or ultimate Frisbee team, and I think he would create winners in those sports too because he builds the people within whatever the program is.
COACH ROB MENDEZ, ESPN HERO
I recently read the “Dear Football” letter written by Coach Rob Mendez in the ESPN The Magazine Heroes edition.11 It is a worthwhile read for everyone, but especially for coaches. Coach Mendez is the 2019 recipient of the Jimmy V Award for Perseverance. Born without arms and legs, Rob Mendez has always been fascinated by football and in his first head coaching position led the junior varsity (JV) football squad at Prospect High School in Saratoga, CA, to an 8–2 record.
Coach Mendez’s letter is inspiring, and the first thing that jumped out at me was that in his freshman year of high school, a coach invited him to be a part of the team. We can’t look back and see whether or not we would be reading this letter from Rob Mendez without that coach’s invitation. I’m sure he would have found his way here. It’s obvious though that the coach’s invitation was a monumental moment in his life and that he was thankful for it.
I think the athletes we coach are always looking for an invitation. Not just to be a part of the team, but an invitation from their coach to pursue dreams and excellence. An invitation to invest everything and fail miserably, laugh it off, learn, and go again. It’s just sport, right? Right? They are looking for an invitation to be a champion on and off the field and to know that someone believes in them.
Coach Mendez found that his belief in his players translated to his players’ belief in him, even though he had physically never played a down of football in his life. He can explain Xs and Os from running thousands of plays in his mind. His ability to inspire and motivate his players will always be far more important than his ability to demonstrate technique.
Some might say Coach Mendez is at a disadvantage, having never physically played the game. What he lacks in game experience and physical ability might actually be what makes him an effective coach. He found purpose in coaching these kids. He will never be able to rely on his technical prowess or playing résumé. Rob Mendez’s coaching strengths will always be inspiration and belief, which may be the greatest gifts a coach can bestow upon players.
There are several different characteristics that come to mind when I say the word “motivate.” As a starting point, I think as a leader it’s always easier to motivate a person when you understand their motivations. What motivates them as a person? What is motivating them to be a part of your team?
There is a motivation that brings a person into an initial introduction with you. Looking at it through an athletics lens, there is a motivation that brings a student-athlete into an initial introduction with you. There is some motivation on the part of student athletes to try to make your team. Do they love the sport? Love to compete? Have a friend on the team? Need a school PE credit? Is a parent pushing them into it? (And I don’t mean to make that sound like a negative thing. Many great success stories start with “Well, my dad took me, and I didn’t want to go but then fell in love with it.”) Someone took them by the hand and gave them a little motivation and a little encouragement, they took a liking to it, and then they began to pick up a glove or golf club or book on their own, and they became empowered and gained some self-motivation to continue.
Let’s think about it from a business perspective for a moment. Say you as an employer are interviewing prospective hires. Do the prospective hires seem to have an interest in the product or service you provide? Do they enjoy the industry? Do they just love your company and want to be a part of it? Do they have a friend or someone who works there and is encouraging them to come work with you? Do they excel at certain tasks and enjoy doing them? Do they just need a job? Do they have bills and need to make a certain amount of money?
The point I’m making is that as a leader or coach you need to get to know the people in your care. And I use the word “care” intentionally because consciously or subconsciously many people are trusting you as the figurehead—your company, your school, your athletic department, the parents of the players, and the athletes you’ve made a part of your team.
I say “figurehead” because sometimes you are installed there and you haven’t really decided whether you are going to own that position and lead yet. The good news is you can make the decision to coach right now. It is not too late to start investing into the people in your care and being interested in how they do their job, their productivity, and how they are performing individually and within the team—and to help them do better, be better, and to get more out of themselves.
HAVE TO AND WANT TO
Let’s jump back to the descriptions I gave of what motivates a person. If you’ll notice, there are two distinct differences in those descriptions. The individual loves the sport and loves to compete. The individual wants to be there, wants to win and play. The individual needs a PE credit, or someone is making them try out. They have to be there to get that PE credit so they can graduate or have to at least try out or Mom and Dad won’t give