.
said, “we're here with you. Everything's going to be all right.”
“No. Nothing is ever going to be all right. Ever.”
“Sure it is. Every cop in town is on the lookout for him.”
Lindsay struggled to sit up. She leaned her head back and closed her eyes. “Remember what happened to Rina? Living in that secure building. She thought she was safe. We're talking about a man who broke out of police custody. What could be more secure?”
“They'll get him. In the meantime, we'll stay with you. The police will be here soon, and we can move you to somewhere safer.”
“I'll never feel safe.”
“Sure you will. Once he's back in custody, they'll take extra measures. This can't last long. And we won't leave you alone.”
“Fight or flight, isn't that what they call our two basic reactions to fear? Well, I've had the flight reaction, and you know what, it's hell. I'm his prisoner. As long as he's breathing, my life is not worth living.”
“Your life is worth living,” Merv said.
“Merv's right, Lindsay. That's just your nerves talking. And I understand how you feel. But this isn't a typical situation here.”
“You do not know how I feel. You're so confident. So sure that things will be all right. You haven't lived in hell like I have. You can't even imagine what it does to your brain.”
“I shouldn't have said that. I'm sorry.” She was right. Every now and then I give myself away. I know the theory about the effect of abuse on the personality. I just don't feel it in my bones.
“I'm not going on the run. I'll stay in my own home.”
“Holy shit.”
“Shut up, Merv. Listen, Lindsay, that would make a lot of sense, normally, but this situation is not normal.”
“I know. Ever since I met Ralph, my life has not been normal. And as long as he's alive, it won't ever be.”
“You won't be away long. This is just temporary. They'll have him back behind bars, and they'll throw away the key.”
“I'd give anything to believe that, Camilla. If he can escape from custody here, he can escape from a maximum-security institution. He can escape from anywhere. I'll never be safe. So I have to live my life anyway.” The fine chin seemed even more pointed. Her hazel eyes were steady and calm. She reminded me of some sweet sainted virgin, strolling serenely to her martyrdom.
“Fine.” I didn't mean fine at all. “But I'm staying with you.”
She shook her head. “You should use your time to boost the Crown's case. Plus, two small women, what could we do?
Neither one of us will have a chance.”
I hate this kind of thinking. But I had to admit Benning had at least one gun. Plus it had been less than nine months since I'd fought for my life with a killer. I wasn't sure how well I'd cope in the same circumstance. But it wasn't like I had a choice.
“Okay, there's safety in numbers. So we need reinforcements. Merv's here. And we can get other people. I think the danger period, if they don't pick him up first, will be in the night. Elaine will come over, for sure. What about if Alvin joins us until they capture Benning?”
Lindsay opened her mouth, but the strangled sounds came from Merv. “Alvin? That little peckerhead? I don't think so, Camilla.”
I always find myself defending Alvin from other people. “Alvin thinks the world of Lindsay. He'd lay down his life for her.”
“That Alvin is just so sweet,” Lindsay said. “But no one should put themselves at risk for me. I created this situation by getting involved with Ralph. I don't want to drag anyone else into it.”
Interesting. I thought I caught a glimpse of the woman Lindsay must have been in her pre-Benning life.
“Fair enough.” I played for time. “But have you even contemplated…” Before I had time to figure out what she should have contemplated, Merv stretched his long legs and stood.
“You can't defend yourself against someone like Benning. And you don't have to. This is not happening because of anything you did.” He looked way down at Lindsay. She tilted up at him. “I'll be here until you're safe,” he said.
It didn't matter what I thought. It didn't matter what I did. It didn't matter that I was there.
“All right,” Lindsay said.
“So that's settled.” I'd like to think they noticed, but I know damn well they didn't.
A few phone calls later, I still hadn't tracked down P. J. That was no great surprise; he'd be chasing the action. I left Merv's cell number. I wasn't giving Lindsay's number to anyone. P. J. might have been my buddy, but he was a reporter first, and I never forgot that.
I had better luck finding out where Alvin was being questioned. I had to get him off the hook, but I had a problem. I could hardly take Merv's car. He'd never let Alvin park his bum in it, and I didn't think I could wrestle the keys from him. It was too goddam cold to walk anywhere with those useless boots. My car would have been impounded after its brush with the gates at 24 Sussex. The taxi dispatcher sneeringly informed me a car would take an hour.
When Lindsay's phone rang, I answered it. Force of habit.
“Camilla? It's Elaine. Holy moly, I'm glad you're there. Alvin left me these hysterical messages. I've been to the police, and I'm on my way. They're sending a couple of cars immediately.”
“Glad to hear it.”
“Listen, no one answers in your office. I tried your cellphone. Don't you ever pick up your messages? Is Lindsay all right?”
I filled her in on the situation, omitting Merv's reactions. She offered to drive me to the Leomont Building to get Alvin, to resolve any outstanding issues with the Mounties, starting with the Commissioner, and to make sure our lad was not traumatized.
“We have to wait until the police get here,” I said.
“That shouldn't take long. Poor Alvin. He has such a hard time.”
Once again, I bit my tongue.
I jumped when Merv soundlessly arrived behind me. “Good news item number one: she's sleeping,” he whispered.
I raised my eyebrows. Not because Lindsay could fall sleep—that was no surprise with her system clogged with sedatives—but there was just something about Merv tiptoeing around like a nervous auntie.
“Good news item number two: the Ottawa guys are here.” I followed him back through the living room to the front window. A cruiser, with two officers, was parked conspicuously in front of the townhouse. “There's another car in the back,” Merv said.
“They're taking it seriously. Usually it's one cop per cruiser.”
“They're taking it seriously all right. They did everything but run a DNA test on me.”
“But you're RCMP.”
“Jurisdictions, remember? No reason for a member of the force, even one on sick leave, to be here. They don't like weird stuff.”
“You'd think they'd be happy to have someone trained in security in the house looking out for Lindsay.”
“Yeah, yeah. They're cops, Camilla. They're never happy. But anyway, I passed the test. I don't hold out much hope for you, though.”
“Funny.”
Less than ten minutes later, when Elaine's SUV crested the snow bank in front of