The New Father. Armin A. Brott
fatty acids that are not found in baby formula.
• Breast milk adapts, as if by magic, to your baby’s changing nutritional needs. None of my children had a single sip of anything but breast milk for at least the first six months of life (and, unless your doctor tells you otherwise, neither should yours), and they’re all wonderfully healthy.
• Breastfeeding greatly reduces the chance that your baby will develop food allergies. If either of your families has a history of food allergies, you should withhold solid foods for at least six months.
• Breastfed babies are less prone to obesity in adulthood than formula-fed babies. This may be because with the breast it’s the baby—not the parent—who decides when to quit eating.
• Breastfed babies have a greatly reduced risk of developing respiratory and gastrointestinal illness, ear infections, asthma, and some childhood cancers. It may also lower the risk of SIDS.
• Breastfeeding is thought to transmit to the infant the mother’s immunity to certain diseases.
Just Because You Don’t Have Breasts Doesn’t Mean You Can’t Help Breastfeed
Sounds strange, but you play a critical role in determining whether, how long, and how well your partner will breastfeed. Several studies have shown that women nurse longer and enjoy it more when their partners learn about breastfeeding (which you’ll do as you read these pages), support them, and have confidence in their ability. Here are a few ways you can stay involved:
• Help your partner find the most comfortable position and position the baby. In the early days of breastfeeding, she may need to try three or four positions at every meal.
• Make sure she’s got a big glass of water nearby—and that she actually drinks it. Breastfeeding can be very dehydrating.
• Encourage her every chance you get. Tell her what a great job she’s doing, and be sympathetic but supportive when she gets frustrated.
• Sit next to your partner while she nurses and read her the latest comments people have posted about how beautiful your baby is.
• Bring the baby to your partner for those night feedings (for the first week or two; we’ll talk more about middle-of-the-night feedings later).
• Do as much of the burping and diaper changing as you can.
• Gently stroke the baby’s skin while she’s feeding. But keep your hands off her head. Stroking the back of the head can sometimes trigger a pullback reflex, and if the baby has a mouth full of breast and nipple at the time, your wife won’t enjoy the experience.
• Let her set the tone outside. Some women are perfectly fine about lifting their shirts in public; others are incredibly shy. Don’t put any pressure on her either way, regardless of how you feel.
FOR YOU AND YOUR PARTNER
• It’s convenient—no preparation, no heating, no bottles or dishes to wash. Plus, breastfed babies are a lot easier to travel with—no need to find clean water for mixing powder, nothing to refrigerate.
• It’s free. Formula can be pretty pricey.
• It gives your partner a wonderful opportunity to bond with the baby. In addition, breastfeeding will help her lose weight and get her uterus back into shape and may reduce her risk of both ovarian and breast cancers.
• In most cases, there’s always as much as the baby needs, and never any waste.
• Your baby’s diapers won’t stink. It’s true. Breastfed babies produce poop that—especially when compared to formula poop—doesn’t smell half bad.
• You may end up getting more rest. If your partner is nursing, you won’t have to get up in the middle of the night to prepare formula (although you still may need to get up to bring the baby to your partner).
What If Your Partner Doesn’t Breastfeed?
FORMULA
You can use powdered, full-strength liquid, or liquid concentrate (which you have to add water to). But when you start checking formula prices, your partner may decide to keep breastfeeding a while longer. All three options are basically the same in terms of their nutritional value. The only issues are price (powder is usually the cheapest, since you can whip up a pitcher in the morning and keep it in the fridge for the day) and convenience (full-strength liquid is the easiest—and most expensive).
If you’re going the formula route, you may wonder how much to feed the baby. The easy answer is, “As much as she wants.” If she’s hungry, food will be the only thing that will soothe her. When she’s had enough, she’ll stop sucking or clamp her mouth shut. As a general guideline, though, you’ll want to give your baby 2–2.5 ounces of formula per pound of body-weight every day. Then divide that into 6–8 feedings. Remember, every baby is different, so you’ll have to do a little experimenting before you find the right amount.
Despite what your mother may have told you, there’s no need to sterilize bottles or nipples. Just wash them thoroughly with warm, soapy water and rinse carefully. If a nipple is torn, hard, stiff, cracked, or deformed in any way, replace it right away.
Just Because Your Partner Has Breasts Doesn’t Mean She Knows How to Use Them
As natural as breastfeeding appears to be, your partner and the baby may need anywhere from a few days to a few weeks to get the hang of it. The baby won’t immediately know how to latch on to the breast properly, and your partner—especially if she’s never done this before—won’t know exactly what to do either. This initial period, in which cracked and even bloody nipples are not uncommon, may be quite painful for your partner. And with the baby feeding six or seven times a day for 10–15 minutes on each breast, it may take as long as two weeks for your partner’s nipples to get sufficiently toughened up.
Surprisingly, she won’t begin producing any real milk until two to five days after the baby is born. But there’s no need to worry that the baby isn’t getting enough food. Babies don’t eat much the first 24–48 hours, and any sucking they do is almost purely for practice. Whatever nutritional needs your baby has will be fully satisfied by the tiny amounts of colostrum your partner produces. (Colostrum is a kind of premilk that helps the baby’s immature digestive system get warmed up for the task of digesting real milk later.)
Overall, the first few weeks of breastfeeding can be stressful and often frustrating for your partner—so much so that she may be tempted to throw in the towel. Even if this happens, don’t give in to the temptation to suggest switching to bottles. Instead, try some of the things on pages 65–66 and encourage her to keep trying. She may find it hard to believe right now, but there’s an excellent chance that in a week or two she and the baby will have settled into a comfortable rhythm, and she’ll hardly remember all the troubles she had. At the same time, you might ask your pediatrician for the name of a local lactation consultant (what a job!). We’ll talk more about breastfeeding-related issues in the next chapter.
JUICE
If you and your partner decide not to breastfeed or your pediatrician has told you to supplement breastfeeding with a bottle, don’t fill it with juice. Children who drink large quantities of fruit juice—especially apple juice—suffer from frequent diarrhea, and in the worst cases may fail to grow and develop normally. The problem is that babies love juice so much that, if you give them all they want, they’ll fill up their tiny stomachs with it, leaving no room for the more nutritious foods they need. Even worse, if your baby gets too used to juice, there’s a chance that she may flat-out refuse formula or milk. The American Dietetic Association recommends that parents refrain from giving their babies juice until they’re at least six months old, and then restrict juice intake until age two.
WATER, SUGAR WATER, ELECTROLYTE DRINKS, COW’S MILK, AND