Women of the Orient. Boye Lafayette De Mente
rigid rules of behavior, but after so many centuries of adherence to specific patterns of conduct it has become the natural way of life for them and remains characteristic of much of their behavior today.
Japan's traditional etiquette code demanded a degree of physical gracefulness seldom seen in the West except among professional actors playing roles. Each person, beginning in very early childhood, was methodically trained in how to perform all the routine functions of daily living in a carefully controlled, graceful manner. Being able to eat with chopsticks, for example, was not enough. There was a particular way they had to be held and used. Even minor deviations were not tolerated. The same rules applied in hundreds of other situations. Manners were not a matter of personal interpretation. Everyone was expected to behave in an exactly prescribed way in all circumstances.
Among the methods used to train girls in gracefulness and Japanese manners were the tea ceremony and flower arranging, along with serving food, dancing, and greeting guests. Each succeeding generation of Japanese was meticulously conditioned to be able to perform life rather than simply live it. They were born, raised, and lived all their lives in one giant charm school.
In the new, more relaxed atmosphere of present-day Japan, the training of children in gracefulness and the old code of manners is considerably less intensive. Adults are also less restricted and stereotyped in their behavior, but the Japanese in general are still much more concerned about etiquette and gracefulness than Westerners. Where. the average Japanese girl is concerned, the remnants of this old feudalistic etiquette gain her valuable points with foreign men— who are mostly impressed with its passive and masochistic qualities. The Westerner in Japan tends to see the typical girl as meek, retiring, and flowerlike. His appreciation for this kind of behavior grows out of his conviction that here is a female over whom he can exercise his masculine will. When he compares the feminine behavior of Japanese girls with the rough-and-ready manners of Western girls the conclusion is foregone.
The studied gracefulness of Japanese women is one of the primary facets of their sexual appeal, especially to Westerners who tend to associate gracefulness with femininity. To the average foreign man the unusually graceful girl exudes feminine sexuality whether or not she is physically attractive. A Japanese girl with a plain face and a so-so figure may therefore appear very feminine and desirable because of her manners.
Many of the Western men who have been in Japan and came away impressed with the manners, personality, honesty, and integrity of Japanese girls met only bar and cabaret hostesses—and before the red-light districts were outlawed, professional prostitutes. As is well known, the Western sex girl tends to become hard and cold (an image Hollywood has been trying very hard—with some success—to change). But unless the professional Japanese girl has been "de-Japanized" as the result of long exposure to foreign customers, she is apt to be as soft-spoken, mild-mannered and innocent-appearing as the average girl. Many a foreign visitor to Japan introduced to a young lady who immediately thereafter spent the night with him has refused to believe she was ''in the business." She was "just too nice, too well behaved, too refined!"
To a Japanese girl, whether or not she is a professional sex partner, being a female is a role she takes seriously. Instead of being taught from childhood that she is expected to compete with males, she is taught in both explicit and implicit ways that her role is to serve and complement men. Learning how to do this—along with the usual homemaking skills—is a standard requirement without which she regards herself as incomplete. Femininity and the ability to please men have traditionally been of special importance to courtesans and mistresses in Japan. They received more training and spent more time practicing feminine skills than the ordinary girl, but ordinary Japanese girls as well believe it is only natural for them to become skilled at being women.
The nature of Japanese etiquette requires an attitude and manner of great humility. The average Western man is unable to say whether or not any Japanese concerned is really humble, but he tends to be very impressed anyway, especially when the person is a pretty girl. Such behavior has the effect of elevating the position of the man while lowering that of the girl—a situation the man finds very pleasing.
In addition to wearing a humble mien and generally behaving in a reserved, compliant manner, Japanese women also ordinarily use a form of speech that is extremely passive and humble. Receptionists in office buildings, store clerks, and hotel maids, for example, behave toward and speak to every guest or client in a manner Westerners usually reserve for royalty. It is no exaggeration to say that Japanese women literally make men feel like kings. Just a little sample of this kind of treatment is often enough to spoil a Westerner.
Another aspect of this humility factor and another of the secrets of the special charms of Japanese girls, is that they are masters at being aggressive and taking the initiative in their relations with men while outwardly appearing to be passive and submissive. They do this by the simple technique of allowing men to exercise their masculine vanity, which disarms and weakens them, then letting the men know what they want by indirect means. Feeling both grateful and guilty, Western men especially gobble this bait up.
Cabaret hostesses specialize in this technique of "losing to win." Newcomers in the trade are systematically instructed in how to make their customers feel superior by exalting them, always assuming a "low posture," and catering to their whims—whatever they may be. The average Japanese girl receives no special training in this, but so much of it is bound up with the overall culture that she nevertheless rates as an expert by Western standards.
Japanese women long ago mastered the art of coquetry, giving it—as could be expected—a subtlety and refinement typical of Japanese behavior. The essence of its subtlety is its apparent naivete and innocence. This is particularly attractive to most American men who, because of lack of experience with really clever women, tend to be gullible. The Japanese girl does not even have to be good at coquetry as long as she projects an image of utter innocence—and at this Japanese girls have no peers.
One of the special attractions of Japan's red-light districts, defunct as of 1957, was that the girls generally behaved like paragons of virtue and innocence. Visiting one of the higher-class places was like being entertained in a wealthy home by the exquisitely well behaved, well trained daughters of the house. One doesn't need much imagination to visualize how well this type of behavior goes over with the American visitor lucky enough to wind up in the boudoir of an attractive Japanese girl, whether or not she is a professional.
The Japanese girl knows from experience that men frequently like to act infantile. She enthusiastically encourages this impulse when it comes. She also knows that men are especially attracted to women who behave in an infantile manner. She knows this type of behavior is particularly effective on men who are unsure of their virility, and that even virile men get a kick out of it if it isn't carried too far. As a result, she instinctively develops the ability to combine acting like a baby with performing like a professional.
Many Japanese girls have been conditioned to the point where they naturally act infantile in any personal dealings with men, including members of their own family. These girls tend to be very popular with foreign men at first because such behavior is usually a novelty and because the Western man immediately presumes the girls are pushovers. After a while, however, this type of behavior begins to lose its appeal for Westerners. Sensing this, Japanese girls who associate with really masculine foreign men usually give up the practice within a year or so.
Westerners are also attracted to the voices of Japanese girls. As part of their overall femininity, girls are conditioned to speak in soft, sweet, harmonious tones—which, unfortunately, don't usually carry over into English. This manner of speaking includes special word endings and vocabulary that are feminine by nature and use. Girls are also taught to raise the pitch of their voices, since speaking' in a high voice has traditionally connoted femininity, passivity and inferiority—all