Women of the Orient. Boye Lafayette De Mente
characteristics men considered ideal in women.
The girl-watcher in Japan who gets into the nest with his quarry may find that nobody can act as helpless, as forlorn, or as sad as a disappointed Japanese girl. Being extraordinarily sensitive and as emotional as jelly, it doesn't take much to break her up. She is most likely to fall apart when the man in her life does something that displeases her or fails to do something she wants him to do. On these occasions she often threatens suicide. The Japanese male is able to withstand this emotional assault because he has a certain amount of built-in immunity. But not so the average American or European. He tries to comfort the girl and quickly finds himself tangled in her web.
The girl-watcher exposed to this kind of behavior for the first time is apt to find it attractive and perhaps irresistible. It arouses his compassion, his protective instincts, his ego, and finally his libido. With all these aroused, all the girl usually has to do if she wants him is reel him in.
One of the most important factors in the good reputation Japanese girls have among Western men is the willingness of young girls to consort with middle-aged and older men. For centuries throughout most of the Orient it has been the prerogative of men of means, who were generally the older men in the community, to enjoy the favors of many women. Most of these men chose young girls as their concubines, mistresses, and playthings not only because they were usually the most attractive but also because they were generally the only ones available to staff the large number of drinking establishments and sex houses that have been traditional in the Orient. Over the centuries it therefore became an accepted custom for older men to enjoy themselves with younger women.
Older men in present-day Japan no longer have the field to themselves. Teenage boys have generous allowances from affluent parents, and young salaried men now also compete with their elders for the time and favors of girls in their own age group. But it is still generally true that because of the old sanctified custom of young girls serving older men, middle-aged and older men in Japan are able to make out with girls in their teens and early twenties to a degree unmatched in Western countries.
The ofuro or "honorable bath" is a Japanese institution. It is an institution because it has played an important role in the daily life of the Japanese since the dawn of Japan's history and there are numerous customs, practically amounting to a mystique, surrounding its use. One of the main characteristics of the ofuro is that until recently men and women, boys and girls, all bathed together. Now large baths operated for use by the general public are required by law to segregate the sexes. Those operated privately by inns, hot-spring spas, and hotels do not come under this law, and still offer mixed bathing facilities to their guests. Kazoku furo or "family baths," designed-to be used by small groups, are especially popular in homes as well as in hotels and inns.
Like the yukata, the contribution baths make to male-female relations in Japan is immeasurable. Mixed bathing is a special type of physical intimacy that brings a man and a woman together in a way not possible by any other means. Western men who participate in the practice with Japanese girls find the stimulation they receive a new experience which thereafter colors their opinions of all women.
In addition to providing Japanese women with an unique opportunity to attract and stimulate men, the custom of Japanese-style bathing gives them another advantage that many Western women tend to ignore or underestimate, and that is the lustrative effect of water and its subsequent influence on their love life. The Japanese have long used water for both spiritual and sensual purposes, keeping themselves cleansed of sin as well as more sexually attractive. They learned early that there is something especially exciting about a woman who is freshly bathed, that she seems to have been miraculously returned to a virginal state, like a blossoming morning flower covered with dew.
As a rule, Japanese women do not censure men for drinking. On the contrary, they are more apt to encourage men to drink. Drinking has traditionally been an integral part of religious and social life in Japan. No formal function of any kind is complete without it. On these occasions, drinking is more of a duty than a privilege. Only a person who cannot drink because of some physical condition or illness is normally excused without a great deal of pressure. This attitude toward drinking is partly a result of the distinctive social etiquette of Japan which prevents the Japanese from being informal and frank with each other except when they are under the influence of alcohol. They believe it is impossible to really get to know a person without drinking with him—because the sober person will always hold back and not reveal his true character.
The Japanese feel ill-at-ease with anyone who refuses to drink with them at a party or outing, unless the person has an acceptable excuse. They feel that refusing to drink indicates a person is arrogant, excessively proud, or unfriendly.
This attitude naturally influences the women as well as the men of Japan. To a girl, a man who refuses to drink is somehow less than a man. The average girl who associates with a Westerner wants to see him get drunk at least once and will generally insist that he do so. When he does get drunk she will take care of him as if he were a child, and is very tolerant of his behavior. Most Japanese women themselves drink but usually very moderately. Thus the attitude Japanese women have toward drinking and drunks is another plus in their favor where most males are concerned.
The Japanese attitude toward sex stems primarily from their indigenous religion, Shinto, which is basically a reverence for nature and a deep concern about fertility in all living things. This religious preoccupation with fertility led to the development of festivals and other ritualistic ceremonies designed to ensure plentiful crops and human fecundity.
As the most conspicuous symbol of fertility, replicas of the erect male organ played an important role in many of the festivals and ceremonies. Still today, rural women who want to become pregnant may go to a special "sex" shrine to buy small ceramic or wooden reproductions of the male organ to carry around with them as good-luck charms. Until recent times, women in rural villages would welcome their returning menfolk who had been away to war or work with ribald dances in which they held large wooden penises in front of them and pretended to rape unmarried girls in the village.
In earlier times, stone phalli were placed at crossroads and in other auspicious locations around the country. Probably the most commonly seen symbol of fertility in Japan today are the hundreds of thousands of big and little ceramic and wooden figurines and carvings of tanuki or badgers, with their giant-sized scrotums prominently featured, which are sold in shops and displayed in front of various businesses.
In addition to sanctioning sex as a necessary function in the scheme of life, Shinto also promoted sex for its pleasurable qualities as well.
At the same time, sex in Japan has never been a matter of completely free choice for women. A double standard developed very early, and until 1945 was strictly enforced, sometimes in a harsh manner. Men of wealth and rank had the privilege of maintaining concubines and mistresses, while lower-class men could patronize the numerous gay quarters anytime they wished and had the price. The sexual behavior of women was determined by their position and class. As in most countries, the highest and the lowest classes of women enjoyed more sexual freedom than the women in between. During much of Japan's history, women in the upper class were known for their love affairs. Ordinary women who were not employed for the specific purpose of entertaining men in teahouses, bathhouses, or gay quarters were expected to be virtuous and suppress their jealousy—and the majority of them lived up to this