Outrageous Thai. T. F. Rhoden
a sentence or phrase will be written in Thai, placing a space between each word in Thai to help beginners read though the sentence, even though in real Thai writing a space is not put between each word. The second line will be a Romanized transcription of the Thai. Since not everyone can read Thai, this has also been included so that anyone at any level can enjoy this book as well (See Pronunciation Guideon next page.) The final sentence will be a translation into American English. Note that the translation will not always follow the Thai sentence word for word. What’s more important here is to get the general meaning so that you can start using these words and phrases even sooner.
Pronunciation Guide
I’m of the camp that nothing represents the spoken Thai language better phonetically than the Thai alphabet itself. Like most other books on the Thai language, I recommend that you learn how to read the alphabet if you’re ever going to be in Thailand, even if for only a short time. However, to be fair, learning a new alphabet using completely foreign characters is tough and can take some time. Simply refer to the succeeding pages for the phonetic equivalent of Thai characters and the guide on using the different tone marks.
Initial Consonants
Take note of the difference between initial and final consonants. The most foreign consonants are [dt], [pb], [ñ], [’], and [ng] when these are the initial consonants.
Final Consonants
The final consonants are not nearly as aspirated as they are in English. Because these final consonants are “swallowed,” only six distinct sounds remain: [k],
[t], [p], [m], [n], [ng], and a guttural stop that follows some vowels.
Vowels
Notice the distinction between long and short vowels. One key to sounding good in Thai is in mastering this subtle difference. Even though every difference between long and short vowels is not transcribed here, these charts can be referred to for clarification throughout. The more difficult of the vowels below to find an English equivalent to are [ue], [er], [ui], and the subtle difference that occurs between [oe] and [oh]. Listen to a native speaker for a better understanding and try to mimic their pronunciation.
Diphthongs
For diphthongs (two vowels thrown together), it is imperative again to listen to a native speaker pronounce them, as many are hard to transcribe. The more trying ones are [eri], [uea], [ooi], [ueoi], [eho], and [aeo].
Tones
Below is a list of the different tone marks in both Thai and the transliteration that this book uses. There are five major tones in central Thai: middle, low, falling, high and rising. For the transliteration of this book, unless otherwise indicated by one of the tone marks below, a syllable in the phonetic translation will always be a middle tone. Any other tone (low, falling, high or rising) will use one of the tone marks below in the left-hand column. Learning how to read tones in Thai depends on four factors: vowel length, class of initial consonant, syllable ending, and the tone mark used. However, there’s not room in a book like this to explain how to read them in great detail. If you don’t know how to read tones in Thai yet, the phonetic English system has been transcribed throughout for your convenience. Just look for the mark above the vowel in the phonetic English to know which tone to pronounce (See below).
CHAPTER ONE
Slang Basics
Congratulations on your new purchase and welcome to the exciting world of real, spoken Thai. Throughout the book you’ll encounter a side of Thai society that is often not privy to the outsider. Some of it will be fun, some of it will be harsh, but all of it will have a degree of honesty often not welcomed by your Thai friends and colleagues. Why do they call this land “The Land of Smiles?” And what’s really behind all those smiles anyway? Well, by the end of this book you should have a better idea, and probably more useful a better way to express those ideas.
But, before we jump into subjects like Sex, Cursing, Booze, Status and the like we need to review some of what I call “Slang Basics.” This includes words like gonna, wanna or the overuse of the words like or just in English. If we don’t learn them in Thai, then you may end up sounding even more like a fool than if you were never to learn any of these words or phrases to begin with. Compare the two English sentences below:
“I find her highly disagreeable. I shall not be attending her after-dinner event. Please tell her I have a previous engagement, or something to that effect.”
vs.
“Ughhh! She’s such a bitch. I ain’t gonna go to her stupid party. Just tell her I got shit to do, or whatever....”
I hope that I don’t need to explain the differences between these two sentences. In effect, they both get across the same idea, but the second one sounds like something you might say if you were talking to a friend. It’s colloquial, idiomatic, and slangy. Think of the second sentence as our overarching goal for this entire book. This book wasn’t written for your development as an eloquent speech writer—it was made to help you not sound like a dipshit in Thai!
Me, Yah and the Rest
Thai is a wonderful language for pronouns. Depending on which pronoun you use for I, you or he/she/it, the entire meaning of a sentence can change. Something rather mundane can immediately become a little more hip. After a while though, you should start to realize that for most of the conversations you’ll encounter on a daily basis, Thais forego using pronouns altogether. Leaving out words like I, you or he/she/it and the rest will make your Thai just sound more authentic. This will give extra effect to those pronouns that you do decide to use. First, for guys or girls, stop referring to yourself in the first person as ผม [pǒhm] or ดิฉัน [dìh-chǔn], respectively, and start using the more laidback เรา [rao] instead. See below:
• เรา กลัวไอ้ กะเทย
RAO glua ’ài gà-teri
I ’m afraid of those damn ladyboys.
• นี่ แฟน เรา น่ารักมั้ย
nêe faen RAO nâh-rúk mái
This is my girlfriend. Is she cute?
If you are a girl try using ชั้ น [chún] or เดี ๊ยน [dían] instead of the ดิฉัน [dìhchǔn] for the first person. It sounds just a little bit cooler than ดิฉัน [dìh-chǔn].
• จาก เค้าเหรอ ชั้น ไม่ เคย ได้ อะไร ซักนิดเลย
jàhk káo reř chún mâi keri dâi ’à-rai súk níht leri
From him? I ’ve never gotten anything at all.
• มา อ่านบล็อก เดี๊ยน บ่อยๆ แล้วจะ รู้ ว่ามี อะไร อีกมี แต่ สนุก ๆ ค่ะ
mah ’àhn blàwk DÍAN bòi-bòi láeo jà róo wâh mee ’à-rai ’èek mee dtàe sà-nòok-sà-nòok kâ
If you read my blog often you’ll know what I ’ve been up to—all I do is have