More What Do I Do When...?. Allen N.. Mendler
occurs, let them see us implement solutions that are respectful, nonviolent, and verbally nonaggressive. To promote friendliness, we need to have a smile on our face as we greet them into the room. When students show us disrespect and make us angry, we need to show them how to express disapproval firmly, yet with dignity. It can be powerful for students to see us as capable and strong without being brutal when our well-being or their well-being is threatened. We need to expect at least as much of ourselves as we do of them. We need to be ready to teach when the bell rings, know our stuff, and show the same kind of enthusiasm we would like to see from them. Let them see us as a model of how we want them to be. We gain credibility with our students by “walking the talk.”
Principle 8: Treat Ourselves, Other Educators, Parents, and Students With Respect and Dignity
It is difficult to be dignified with students who are offensive, disobedient, unmotivated, and intimidating. However, if we submit to the impulse to attack or run away, we lose the opportunity to demonstrate how to effectively manage challenging behavior. As noted above, we only gain credibility when students see us “walking the talk.” Showing aggression toward students rarely succeeds in getting them to follow the rules, and virtually always increases the risk of losing them to anger and resentment. A simple test to determine dignity is to imagine being at the receiving end of any method of discipline or correction. For example, how would you feel if your principal forced you to publicly apologize for missing a meeting or wrote your name with a checkmark next to it during a faculty meeting for “off-task” talking? It is important to ask if personal dignity would be assailed or left intact if someone applied the same method on us to influence our behavior. Ways of communicating dignity to our students include listening to what students think, encouraging their feedback, using “I” messages to communicate our feelings to them, apologizing after acting in a hurtful way, explaining why we want something done a certain way and how that will likely be of benefit to your students, and giving them some voice in classroom affairs. The message we want to convey is: We value who you are. If you behave in an unacceptable way you will be treated in a firm, respectful manner, and you will be held accountable for your actions.
HOW TO EFFECTIVELY USE THIS BOOK
MORE What Do I Do When … ? provides practical, specific tips for discipline prevention and intervention. Use the strategies as described or modify them to more closely fit your situation, keeping in mind that not all strategies work with all students. There is not a “one size fits all method” to fix all behavior problems. You can use the principles in this book as a framework to help you develop new methods. You are likely to improve classroom discipline if you allow your interactive moments and classroom structure to be guided by those principles. In an effort to make MORE What Do I Do When … ? as user-friendly as possible, the tips on prevention are grouped into four categories:
• Tips for welcoming students
• Tips for establishing effective rules and consequences
• Tips for promoting responsibility and problem-solving methods
• Tips for motivating students
The tips for intervention are grouped into three categories:
• Tips for handling tough moments
• Tips for handling difficult situations
• Tips for helping students handle tough moments and difficult situations
The concluding section of this book consists of frequently asked questions and answers on classroom behavior and provides practical and resourceful tips for handling specific problems and circumstances.
Part 1
Prevention, Intervention, and Choosing a Discipline Method
1 Introduction to Strategies
Managing student behavior … is a delicate balance between maintaining social order and meeting the unique needs of each student.
—Richard Curwin and Allen Mendler
(Discipline With Dignity, 1988, 1999)
In the original Discipline With Dignity (Curwin & Mendler, 1988, 1999), a “three dimensional discipline” model was presented with three components: prevention, action, and resolution. We suggested numerous ways to prevent problems from occurring, to act when problems occur, and to resolve issues with more challenging students. In daily classroom life, two types of strategies make for effective discipline—prevention and intervention. Prevention involves understanding why students behave inappropriately and then doing things to prevent problems. After problems occur, prevention is also concerned with what can be done to keep the same thing from happening again. Intervention involves stopping misbehavior quickly so that little precious time is lost to instruction. The strategies offered here are with the rubric of prevention and intervention.
PREVENTION
The vast majority of factors leading to chronic discipline problems have their roots outside of school. Dysfunctional families, unsupportive parents, violence in our culture, media messages, drugs, exposure to toxic substances, lack of community support for educational goals, and preoccupation with survival issues are among the many sociocultural factors at the core of most discipline problems. As educators we have little, if any, control over these factors. The foremost tool of prevention we have is ourselves, because despite all of these negative factors, we can and often do make differences in the lives of our students. I frequently say in seminars that our challenge is to make our voice as interesting, harmonious, and inviting as we can because all kinds of factors compete for the hearts, minds, and souls of our students. The daily challenge is to make our voice stand out from the crowd.
Discipline prevention is less about addressing the out-of-school causes of poor behavior and more about addressing basic human needs, which when neglected lead to problem behavior. It might help to think of one of your former students who struggled behaviorally, was troubling to you, showed improvement, and eventually turned out all right. What kinds of things did you do? Why do you think changes occurred? As detailed in What Do I Do When … ? How to Achieve Discipline With Dignity in the Classroom (1992, 2007), not satisfying a student’s basic needs will trigger problem behaviors. These basic needs include:
• Feeling and believing that I am capable and can be successful here
• Knowing that I am noticed and cared about
• Realizing that I have influence because others are interested in my opinions and actions
• Seeing that I can make a difference in the lives of others because they look to me as a source of knowledge and help
• Experiencing the relevance of school to my life or seeing how it might be relevant at some future time
• Having fun and being stimulated by school
• Being secure that I am in a physically, emotionally, and intellectually safe place
When we use our understanding of these basic needs to guide our instructional strategies and interactive moments, fewer discipline problems occur because students want to behave.
Can you think of specific things that you are currently doing through the curriculum or in your interaction with students that are designed to address each of these basic needs? When you were a student, were there teachers or administrators who really seemed able to connect with all kinds of students? Are there any teachers or administrators like this at your school? What do they do?
INTERVENTION
Intervention is what we do when misbehavior occurs. The four goals of an effective intervention are outlined below.