More What Do I Do When...?. Allen N.. Mendler
SHARING APPRECIATION
Appreciation Day. Getting students to appreciate each other is a good way to prevent discipline problems. There are many ways to do this. You could place a picture of each of your students along with his or her name on a large sheet of newsprint. Explain that each day one student’s picture will be selected to hang on the bulletin board. Tell them that during certain times of the day (less structured times are best to minimize distractions), any student may go to the poster and write a statement that begins “One thing I like about you is …” Students could also draw pictures expressing their caring or appreciation of this student. No put-downs are allowed. Before the end of the school day, take a few minutes to permit students to file past the poster, and encourage them to read each statement or describe a drawing that they made on this poster. When finished, ask if there are any further expressions of appreciation. When the process is completed, put the child’s poster away until his turn comes up again. After two rounds, allow each student the option of taking the poster home or displaying it in school.
The nice things list. With older students, do something similar to an activity first written about by a teacher, Helen Mrosla (Canfield & Hansen, 1993) in Chicken Soup for the Soul. Ask students to list the names of the other students in the class on two sheets of paper, leaving a space between each name. Tell them to think of the nicest thing they could say about each of their classmates and write it down. Collect all papers, and on a separate sheet of paper list each student’s name followed by the things that everyone wrote about that individual. Then give students their papers to keep as a reminder that they are appreciated.
Kindness pail. Sally Levine, a first-grade teacher in Des Moines, Iowa, encourages students to observe little moments of kindness done by each other and to write or draw about these moments on a piece of paper. She then asks children to put their written “kindnesses” in a pail; every day before school ends, she reads a few of them. Ms. Levine noted that it seemed that some of her children would often receive many notes while others received very few. She suggests that it works well to encourage the children who receive many kind comments to share kind remarks about children who receive very few. She might say to them, “It is so wonderful that so many nice things are written about you, and all of them are true. You must feel very special hearing all those nice things. As the kind person that you are, I am going to ask you to do one more kindness. I am noticing that since _____ (give names of children who get very few) don’t get very many kindness comments, it would help them feel special if you could think of something kind to write or draw about _____. Can I count on you to be especially kind in that way?”
Kindness link. A middle-school teacher attending one of my seminars told how her school encourages students to write down (on strips of colored paper) acts of kindness that they have seen or experienced. The hallway and cafeteria are decorated with these strips, which are linked together to form a chain.
“RB” time (relationship building). Make it easier on yourself and invest time for relationship-building every day. What you say or do does not have to be fancy—just saying hello to students as they enter the room, greeting them with a smile on your face, asking them how they are, or noticing something about how they look often tends to get the students “on your side.” Offer a pat on the back and an encouraging “you can do it.” When you show your students you are as concerned with who they are as with how well they do, it becomes much easier to gain their interest, respect, and compliance. Best of all, it only takes a few seconds to express something individual and personal that may become an enduring and positive memory for them.
You might think of a complimentary nickname for each student (make sure students clearly understand the significance). You could take a little time to send home an occasional postcard to each student specifically complimenting something about his or her effort or achievement. Bringing in cookies or another treat for a birthday is another way to show students how much you appreciate them. If you want to get a little more elaborate, you could select a “mystery” student of the week. Put each student’s name on separate slips of paper in a container. Draw one student’s name and place it in a sealed envelope. At the end of the week, open the envelope and identify the student. If the student has completed all assignments, the class earns a reward. The best strategy for protecting each student’s dignity is to privately show the student that his or her name was drawn. If the student’s behavior earned a reward, then the student has the option of having that fact announced to the class. If the behavior did not earn a reward, the feedback is given only to the student without anybody else knowing who it was. Building relationships improves student behavior and motivation.
The positive postcard. Periodically send home postcards addressed either to students or their parents that briefly outline and praise specific positive behavior or achievement you have recently observed. In doing this, the student will not only feel proud from the praise received from the teacher, but may also receive good words and encouragement at home.
Dear ____________________,
I just want to let you know how pleased I am with the effort you are showing in our class.
Thanks,
________________________
The “2 × 180 strategy.” As mentioned previously, another excellent strategy is for 2 seconds every day for 180 days (the entire school year or more if there are more days), endeavor to have a positive moment with each of your students. It can be as simple as smiling, saying hello, or commenting on something specific, such as, “I really like the effort you put into your paper.”
Big Ziggy. For many years, I have been teaching the “H or H” strategy to teachers as a welcoming method. Every day, the teacher greets the children with a hug or a handshake. Over the years, this has been modified by others to include a handshake, hello, and how are you? For educators who are uneasy about giving a hug, you can instead use a stuffed animal. A teacher at one of my seminars named her animal “Big Ziggy.” When you sense a child needing a hug (or as part of your daily greeting practice), you can put a stuffed animal between yourself and the child, hugging the child with the stuffed animal. This strategy has been found to work through at least the sixth grade.
CLASSROOM LEGACY
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