Food Men Love. Margie Lapanja
politician, friend, or the Wizard of Oz himself—I would invite him to breakfast and enchant him with a huge plate of waffles with warm maple syrup, fresh fruit, cinnamon, sour cream, and sweet butter.
I say you can tell a man's character by his reaction to this crisp, forthright hot cake. I've discovered a “waffle man” is generally unpretentious, wholesome, hearty, fun-loving, and honest.
Alton Brown, the celebrity chef on the Food Network's television show Good Eats, says one of his favorite things to cook is “waffles—anytime, day or night.” A waffle man. When Thomas Jefferson visited Holland, he brought back a “woffle” iron so he could enjoy them at Monticello. A waffle man. President Gerald Ford, bless his heart—a waffle man.
So all of you waffle men out there, heat your irons, and cook up a great waffle.
You can tell a lot about a fellow's characterby his way of eating jellybeans.
—Ronald Reagan
Norwegian Belgian Waffles
2 cups milk
2 cups rolled oats (old-fashioned or quick)
2 large eggs, separated, at room temperature
2 tablespoons brown sugar or honey
2 tablespoons applesauce
2 tablespoons soft butter
½ cup whole wheat flour
½ cup unbleached white flour
1 tablespoon baking powder
½ teaspoon salt
Grease and preheat a Belgian waffle iron (a regular waffle iron also works perfectly). Either scald the milk in a saucepan over low heat and mix in the oats, or combine the oats and milk in a large bowl and microwave on HIGH for 3 to 4 minutes. Whisk in the egg yolks, brown sugar or honey, applesauce, and butter.
Beat the egg whites until a soft peak forms; set aside. In a small bowl (or right in the measuring cup to save time), blend together the two kinds of flours, baking powder, and salt. Tap the dry ingredients into the wet ingredients, stir, and then gently fold in the egg whites.
Ladle the batter into the waffle iron and bake until the indicator light tells you the waffles are done. Lavish with all the adornments—sweet butter, maple syrup, and/or fresh berries—and serve. Makes 8 medium waffles, depending on the size of your iron.
Duel of the Gruel
The most enduring legacy of America's Civil War has very little to do with ideologies of freedom and unity. No, its aftereffect is more pervasive than that: Draw the line between the Yankee North and Rebel South, get out your breakfast bowls, and prepare to duel!
You tell me where you live, and I'll tell you what you eat. If your bowls were filled north of the Mason-Dixon line—Minnesota, Pennsylvania, Ohio—you grew up on the sacred grains of Cream of Wheat™. But if you hail anywhere south of the hills of Tennessee, you are a true grit gent through and through.
Arm your bowls and take up your spoons, gendemen, and prepare to choose a winning recipe. I'm fairly certain if y'all whipped up a batch of Yankee Cream of Wheat and top it with a whopping dollop of vanilla Häagen-Dazs™, all your southern taste buds would be seduced and conquered. However, up against this fantastic grit recipe, it might be a draw.
I will ride a few hundred miles before breakfast just to be at a truck stop that serves grits. Try them; you may find your motorcycle tends to head south in the morning.
—Biker Billy, Biker Billy Cooks with Fire
Falls Mill Uptown Cheese Grits
1 cup Falls Mill™ stone-ground grits
4 cups water, divided
¼ cup onion, finely chopped
2 tablespoons butter
2 teaspoons instant chicken bouillon
¼ cup half-and-half
2 to 4 ounces of Havarti cheese, coarsely grated
Place grits in a bowl and cover with 2 cups of water. Stir the grits so that light bran and chaff will rise to the top. Skim this off and set aside.
Bring 2 cups of water, the onion, butter, and instant chicken bouillon to a boil in a heavy-bottomed saucepan.
Pour the water and remaining chaff and bran off the grits in the bowl that was set aside and add them to the boiling mixture. Reduce heat to low and cook, covered , for about 20 minutes, stirring occasionally until grits soften.
Add half-and-half and cheese and stir until cheese melts and the grits are thick and creamy. Serve hot. Makes 4 half-cup servings.
THE INSIDE LINE
If you're an aspiring grits connoisseur, use only the best—no Yankee supermarket instant stuff. The best I've found are stone-ground, whole grain grits from Falls Mill, Tennessee. For more information on how to get your grits and stock up on stone-ground corn meals, flours, and a multigrain pancake mix that can't be beat, see page 211 of the Red Letter Resources at the end of this book.
WHERE CAN I ORDER A CHICKEN-FRIED STEAK?
We all know that the thrill of eating an authentic chicken-fried steak—that funky southern cousin to Salisbury steak or Swiss steak—is inseparable from the fun of going out to your favorite eatin' place, ordering it, waiting for it, and having it served to you, hot, hot, hot on a huge plate of grits with white gravy. I'd have to open a restaurant to make that recipe work. So my search continues for the best chicken-fried steak in the world. I hear Threadgill's in Austin, Texas, sizzles up a good one. All of you CFS lovers out there, my address is in the back of the book. I'll wait to hear from you before I order or print a recipe.
The Incredible, Edible Omelet
Simply put, an omelet is beaten eggs cooked in a pan and then rolled or folded, often with a filling. Men have enjoyed this refined version of scrambled eggs ever since the first omelet, a honey omelet or ovemele, was whipped up one morning in ancient Rome. Duke Ellington, the royal man of jazz, claimed he was the “world's greatest cooker of eggs” and also swore by the stimulating nature of caviar. Just imagine…a caviar omelet. Nice.
So effortless is the French, or plain, omelet to make that Howard Helmer, the American Egg Board's Senior National Representative and holder of the Guinness World Record (427 plain omelets made in 30 minutes!), can create a filled omelet in less than 40 seconds. So man your “omelet station” and choose your filling; the possibilities are endless, limited only by your imagination and refrigerator contents. The timer is on—Go!
Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you likeand let the food fight it out inside.
—Mark Twain
Effortless Omelet
2 large eggs, room temperature (organic eggs make all the difference)
1 tablespoon lukewarm water
⅛ teaspoon salt
Dash of pepper, if desired
Butter or cooking spray
In a small bowl, beat the eggs, water, and salt together until blended. Add a dash of pepper if desired.
Heat