Marijuana Smoker's Guidebook. Matt Mernagh

INTRODUCTION

      SMOKING POT 101

      I toked them all...

      MATT MERNAGH

      …and I probably should have known better than to attempt to write a lengthy introduction to this book after inhaling a devastating indica like Exodus Cheese. After a lengthy toking career you’d think I’d know better, but here I am, with my guide to smoking the world’s best pot hung up just before hitting the press because I’ve chosen the wrong weed. Gawd damn! Indicas are great at managing my chronic pain levels, but they zap the creativity out of me. Unless I switch it up to a soaring creative sativa, I’m doomed to stare at a blank page, and so are you.

      Marijuana and writing have been part of my daily routine for two decades. Combining the two to create a ganja guide seems like a dream writing gig until one day, you begin to struggle with words after hitting a Kush. Toking multiple Kushes and thinking creatively? Forget about it. Writing that a strain is “dank” one too many times is akin to a music critic writing, “It rocks!” for every song on an album. Just not okay.

      Towards the end of this book-writing process, after sampling and reviewing hundreds of samples of amazing weed (and tending to my own my cannabis crops), I began appearing at my local pub with a ‘long day at the office’ look. Yes, I sampled (and smell like) five different kinds of marijuana today, but I also penned thousands of words describing the smells, tastes and effects of what I smoked. Just like any professional critic, I take my craft seriously–I reached back into my writer’s bag of tricks to my days of being a young, ranting music reviewer and applied many of those techniques to the art of reviewing marijuana strains.

      Instead of reviewing marijuana objectively, I completely and wholeheartedly admit to getting medicated and writing subjective reviews. Marijuana strains from the White family are my personal favorites, so I’m bound to be influenced by my adoration of White Russian, White Widow and Jean Guy. However, I love stellar soaring sativas, especially in the morning, while afternoons often bring fruity flavored hybrids and of course the well-loved Kush strains.

      Can cannabis ever be reviewed objectively when there are so many variables involved in producing truly great finished bud? The same strain grown by two different people will ultimately have similar, but notably different, results. Besides using totally different methods–soil or hydro, chemical nutrients or organic plant food, etc.–there’s a personal growing style that influences the way the plant grows in these different systems. In short, no two buds are truly alike.

      The breeder’s seeds play a significant role too, but how much? There are plenty of well-known strains available that when grown from seed produce at least two different phenotypes–groups of observable characteristics, like smell, taste and effects. Some breeders inform buyers that either of these phenotypes can appear in their grow, while others don’t. Subtle differences will create different impressions of a strain.