Marijuana Smoker's Guidebook. Matt Mernagh
In 1997 I joined a then-fledgling organization called the Toronto Compassion Centre. It helped people to obtain high quality cannabis to treat their illnesses. When Toronto Police raided the feisty organization in 2002, I came out of the cannabis closet and began my personal quest to overgrow the government.
As the coach of a group of activists known as the Toronto Hash Mob, I’ve led and organized almost a decade’s worth of marijuana smoke outs. We risk arrest every April 20th by publicly puffing down with friends. Now we have grown into a sizeable crowd of thousands of tokers. Our celebratory cannabis cannon (about a quarter pound in one super-sized joint) has led to my photo being splashed in newspapers all the way around the world. I’ve appeared in print and on television numerous times in my legal medical marijuana garden. It’s fair to say that cannabis has given me a quality of life I could not have had without it.
However, it hasn’t been all ganja gravy. I’ve been charged for a cannabis-related offence on five separate occasions, did two weeks in Canada’s most notorious prison The Don Jail and I’ve spent five of the last seven years on bail. Yet even in these bleak moments there’s some cannabis clarity–like when a justice proclaimed during a bail hearing, “That must be the largest balcony in the city”, after learning I had placed 32 plants outside to see how they would grow 420 feet above the city of Toronto.
My so-called “confession video” (don’t ever make one of these) shows me explaining to an inquiring detective, who claimed to have busted plenty of grows before but had never seen anyone label their pots, the difference between indicas, sativas and hybrids. The labels allowed me to keep track of the different strains that I confessed to growing for myself to determine which ones worked (and which ones didn’t work) at treating my illness.
Turning my worst moment into my best took four years of monthly court sessions and a thirteen-day trial. Our four months of preparation, wherein lawyer Paul Lewin and I interviewed people across Canada about their inability to access the federal government’s medical marijuana program, resulted in the largest victory against prohibition ever achieved. Together (myself, 22 witnesses and our lawyer Paul), we struck down Canada’s marijuana laws for personal possession and growing.
I am currently the only Canadian who has a court order allowing me to possess and grow cannabis. In the last year and a half, I’ve grown multiple marijuana strains by a slew of reputable seed breeders and it’s been a remarkable experience.
Many of the strains in this toker’s guide were grown by myself or other medical marijuana users. Plenty were picked up at various medical marijuana centers from across the country and others from known quality dealers. Obtaining or growing strains wasn’t a real challenge, but writing about and photographing 150 different buds turned out to be tough!
I hope that this guide will help other marijuana users to learn about the smells, tastes and effects of the most popular and effective strains of pot that are available today. I also hope that this guide will teach marijuana users how to identify the quality and genetic nature of the cannabis that they are purchasing or growing. After all, no one likes to smoke bad shit.
How Can You Tell If You Have Stellar Weed?
If your buds are crushed and crammed into a small baggy, then they’re not going to be great. Plastics degrade cannabis. Static cling in the baggy can pull precious trichomes off the buds and on to the plastic walls of your baggies. A sticky bag is terrible news for a smoker, because by the time you get at the bud, all that ganja goodness has gone to waste. To avoid this, keep your buds in a small glass jar that seals in the pot’s freshness.
Marijuana doesn’t naturally come compressed in bricks, nor is it crumbly or broken up in pieces. Buds should be attractive to the point of being pornographic to potheads. Your first thoughts when encountering stellar weed should be, “I can’t wait to roll you up and toke you all night long.”
Great ganja is gorgeous because its trichomes sparkle. The red, green and sometimes purple hues are majestic and the leafy material has been properly manicured. Properly cured buds are dense, firm and, most importantly, easy to grind. Once ground, all that remains is a sweet, sticky, and resinous mound of marijuana.
Besides being pretty, stellar nugs have a noticeable stink. Some will have a more noticeable stench than others, but all should have a smell. When busted, each particular marijuana strain’s unique aroma will become very noticeable. I’ve had some strains that, after getting busted, released a smell that made my mouth water.
How To Tell Quickly If Your Dealer Is Selling Great Ganja Or Bunk Bud
Don’t buy your bud on a street corner. Instead, develop a trusted nug network. Develop a reputation for having dank nugs and you will soon discover that your access to amazing strains increases. Potheads who have great ganja like sticking together because it makes the session that much more stoney.
Regardless of all the other arguments, marijuana should be legal simply because phoning half a dozen people on a Friday night seeking some pot to get stoned with is just wrong. How many calls of, “You got any trees?” do you have to make before marijuana legalization just makes sense? Plenty of people have a regular hook up, but even that person might not truly be worthy of their business.
Did your weed come pre-packaged or in small dime bags? Then it’s bunk for sure. Avoid the dealer who has everything pre-arranged and packaged. A reputable seller will weigh out their wares on a scale in front of you and be very proud of their product. Many will be very boastful of their buds. Stick to your regular hook up when buying large amounts, and when purchasing from someone new, buy less to test their product and reputation.
Just because your guy says he’s stocking “the Kush” doesn’t mean it really is “the Kush”. Stay cautious of the person who says they have super bomb strain x-y-z, but why not give them the benefit of the doubt, especially if it’s awesome pot and matches up with this guide?
How To Tell If Your Marijuana Has Mold
Contrary to popular fear mongering, mold will not kill you, but still, you should never consume cannabis that you know is moldy. For prohibitionists, mold is the new blob; a magical and deadly monster that no one can see or knows much about, but which can kill unsuspecting teens. However, in reality, mold is just a problem created by moisture lock.
When moist marijuana is packed in airtight containers the conditions to create mold are perfect. Most growers cure their cannabis correctly, but when they don’t, consumers get moldy products.
Be on the lookout for a white stringy substance that clings to buds around the stems. If you spot something that doesn’t look like marijuana plant matter then it probably isn’t. Bust open the suspected area and more white gunk should be apparent. Some mold appears as black spots on your buds, but I’ve found the most common to be a white mildew-like substance that clearly is not cannabis. Discard any affected plant matter immediately and be thankful that shit isn’t in your lungs.
How To Tell If Your Marijuana Has Been Sprayed For Taste Or Weight
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