Where Is Wonderland Anyway. Karen Mueller Bryson
about you, Alice?" asked Lewis.
"This place isn't that much different from the ones old Billy would take me to every once in a while."
"Who's Billy?" asked Lewis.
"Oh, just a guy I used to know," I said. I had made a big mistake mentioning Billy by name but the question came out when I wasn't giving it too much thought.
"Don't you think it's strange that nobody has come by to ask us what we want?" said Carol.
“You know, the more I look around this place, the more creepy it seems,” said Lewis.
Carol said, “Maybe we should find someplace else to get some grub.”
Before any of us could get up from our seats, a big man, with long, greasy hair and a full beard, came over to our table. He was wearing a white t-shirt that didn’t quite cover his stomach and faded blue jeans.
“You folks are not from around here,” he said.
“We’re just passing through. Wanted to get a bite to eat. That’s all.” Lewis looked kind of nervous.
“We don’t take kindly to strangers,” the big man said.
“Actually, we were just about to leave,” said Lewis.
“Not so fast,” said the big man. “A couple of the boys over there were wondering what a man the likes of you is doing with two women.”
“What do you mean by that?” asked Carol.
“I mean what is this weird looking fella doing with you two pretty young things.”
“I think it’s time for us to go,” said Lewis.
“You all ain’t going nowhere until I get an answer.”
I could see the situation was getting squirrelly and I felt the need to do something before somebody got hurt. The big man didn’t seem to look all that much different from most of the men my mama made the acquaintance of, so it didn’t bother me too much to speak up to him.
“Now look here,” I said standing up. I got up real close to the big man in order to tell him a thing or two. “I don’t like the way you’ve been talking to my friends. We ain’t done nothing to you and your buddies. If you don’t like the fact of us being here we’ll be sure to go. We don’t want no trouble. We just came in here to get us some food. Since you seem to have a problem with that, we’ll be going.”
The big man stood there for a few seconds with his jaw dropped and eyes wide, surprised that a woman of my slight stature would have the gumption to stand up to him. A few months prior, I might not have had the nerve, but since I accidentally killed Billy, nothing seemed that scary anymore.
While the big man was still in his shocked state, I told Lewis and Carol we best get moving and fast. The three of us hightailed it out of Lucky Lou’s and just made it to the car by the skin of our teeth. As soon as we took off, I could hear the big man yelling “Get them” in the distance and what looked like an angry mob ran half way down that street after us.
Lewis drove out of town as fast as he could. When we were a safe distance away, Carol started laughing real hard. “I can’t believe what you said to that fat freak, Ally. You’re one tough cookie.”
“I never thought you’d be the one to protect me,” said Lewis. "O coward conscience, how dost thou afflict me!"
"Cowards die many times before their deaths," said Carol.
"Do you really think that guy would have hurt us?" said Lewis.
“That man was nothing but talk,” I said. Of course, that’s what I told them, but there was still a nagging side of me that thought he could have beat us pretty bad if he had the mind to.
“I certainly think we need to show a little more discernment in where we choose to stop next time,” said Lewis.
“New rule. If they’re playing music that sounds like a cat in heat, we don’t stay,” said Carol.
“I vote for chain restaurants only,” said Lewis. “I’m sure there are enough McDonald’s and Pizza Huts on the way to California that we won't go hungry.”
“But don’t you want to experience the local culture as we make our way through the heartland of America?” said Carol.
“Not if the local culture includes getting assaulted by a big scary guy named Bubba,” said Lewis.
“How’d you know his name was Bubba?” I asked.
“It’s just an expression,” said Carol. “It’s what you call guys like the fat freak.”
I guess I sure did know a lot of men named Bubba in my lifetime.
That night, we ate at a Pizza Hut. Lewis and Carol felt it was a safe choice. I was so hungry by the time we got there I could have eaten a cow while it was still mooing. We stayed at a motel called The Deluxe Motor Inn. With a name that fancy, you would have thought it would have been a lot nicer than it was. Lewis said it would be best if the women shared a room and he stayed in a single. He said that way it wouldn't give anyone cause to talk and no one would give us any trouble. I didn't much mind one way or the other but Carol said, "Fuck them, I don't care what anyone else thinks." She seemed to warm up to the idea when Lewis said he'd pay for both of the rooms.
Before we went to sleep that night, Carol got to talking. Let me tell you, once she started flapping those jaws of hers, it was hard to get her to stop. "So, Ally what do you think of Lewis?"
"He seems to be a right decent fellow if you ask me."
"And he sure is a hottie, don't you think?"
"I suppose he is. Although he did tell me that I should think of him like a brother."
"Why did he say that?"
"It was that first night we stopped and the two of us had to sleep in a room together."
"Did you jump his bones?"
"Oh, no." I had a notion at what Carol was getting at and was a little embarrassed at the question.
"I would have if I had the chance."
"You would have jumped on his bones?"
"Not on his bones. Oh, you know what I mean. Get busy. Shag. Swap body fluids. The two of you in a hotel room by yourselves. What did you do for fun?"
"We were tired. We went to sleep."
"That's it? You went to sleep?"
"Well, he showed me one of his magic tricks. I told you Lewis said I should think of him like a brother."
"What a drag."
"He seems like a really nice guy."
"In my experience it's the nice ones that really know how to make a girl scream."
When Carol said that, I was rightly confused. She was saying it was a good thing for a man to make you scream but I knew what it felt like to get beaten up pretty bad and screaming usually made it worse.
"Well, if you don't want Lewis. I'm going after him."
I said, "Okay" but I wasn’t sure if I meant it.
"Then it's settled. Maybe tomorrow night, you can have the single."
Chapter Four
Lewis managed to get us up bright and early even with Carol keeping me up half the night with her chatter.