Walk With Me, Jesus: A Widow's Journey. Ronda Chervin Ph.D.
you have a task at hand that seems too great to handle, a task that only seems to underscore the empty spaces in your life?
Is God using the death of your husband to bring to life some new work through you? Or is it possible that God might now be calling you to a new path or a new endeavor?
What might it be? Write about it.
Almighty God,
Somehow, life moves on - even after the most devastating losses. There are still places to go, things to do, bills to pay ... the list is endless, and my resources are few. Help me, Lord, to know where my priorities should be. In the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen.
PSALM 16:1-9
I love the LORD, who listened to my voice in supplication, Who turned an ear to me on the day I called.
I was caught by the cords of death; the snares of Sheol had seized me; I felt agony and dread.
Then I called on the name of the LORD, "O LORD, save my life!"
Gracious is the LORD and just; yes, our God is merciful.
The LORD protects the simple; I was helpless, but God saved me.
Return, my soul, to your rest; the LORD has been good to you.
For my soul has been freed from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling.
I shall walk before the LORD in the land of the living.
"I was caught by the cords of death ..."
David, the warrior king, knew what it was to face death. As widows, we face this enemy more intimately, profoundly. Take a moment to meditate on this psalm, and journal about it.
Lord,
When the grip of my memories rise up and threaten to overwhelm me, You have always been there to hold me steady. Thank You for never letting me walk alone.
LONGING AND SILENCE
Fear and trembling come upon me, and horror overwhelms me,
And I say, "Had I but wings like a dove, I would fly away and be at rest.
Far away I would fee; I would lodge in the wilderness.
I would hasten to find shelter from the violent storm and the tempest,
Psalm 55:6-9
In By Grief Refined, Alice von Hildebrand speaks of her own experiences when she writes:
[Think of] the widow whose human life was anchored in her spouse, and whose existence has been shattered by his death ... the loss of the person who was, humanly speaking, the sun of her earthly existence.
It is a terrible thing to wake up in the morning, stretch one's hand to caress the hand of the beloved, and grasp the void. To fall asleep is difficult – one's mind seems to be spinning, one's heart is restless, one's will is frozen... We try desperately to wind back the clock, hoping to see him one more time, hear his voice one more time, tell him one more time that we love him and the bitter words come to our lips: "Never, never again."
Perhaps you can identify. You feel as if you died, too ... a spiritual death that testifies to the strength of the bond that united the two of you, and to the depth of your sorrow. Since death is the separation of soul and body, it is not surprising that by being torn away from the person with whom we were one flesh, a part of us dies as well.
How can people who do not believe in God or the immortality of the soul, bear this loss? For the Christian widow, the loss is still hard to bear - and yet the precious water of your tears irrigates a rich harvest of new life.
Your beloved remains mysteriously close in silence. Every time you wake up to find nothingness, you repeat to yourself, "No, I know that he is still there. He is invisible, but he is more loving than ever. I must now learn a new language, a new way of communicating with him."
You will never get over it. But in time you will know that love is stronger than death.
"By being torn away from the person with whom we were one flesh, a part of us dies as well." Have you experienced this? When and how?
"Love is stronger than death."
In what ways and at what times do you feel closest to your husband?
Come Holy Spirit,
inspire me to speak words wise,
encouraging and consoling.
Jesus, Bridegroom of Widows help me.
Mary, Exalted Widow help me.
Widow saints, help me.
ST. ELIZABETH OF HUNGARY: LIKE A BENDING WILLOW
"Is that the secret of fruitful widowhood?
To bend like a willow with adversity
until we can stand strong again in the Lord?"
Said of St. Elizabeth of Hungary
One of the most famous young widow-saints was Elizabeth of Hungary (1207-1231). As an infant, Elizabeth was betrothed to Louis of Thuringia. At four years of age she was taken in procession to Thuringia to be prepared for her future life as a queen.
But the little girl was not at all the "princess type." Serious and prayerful, she was ridiculed by adults in the court. Happily, the one person who totally understood her was her future spouse, for he was the same way. Together the young people dreamed of the great deeds they could do for Christ when they grew up. They married when he was twenty-one and she was fourteen. They loved each other deeply, and spent many hours in prayer together.
When Louis died in a Crusade, Elizabeth wailed for days. "Dead! Henceforth all earthly joys and honors are dead to me!" she exclaimed. The death of Louis enabled his relatives to banish the hated pious princess, who disgusted them with her fanatical religious acts and whose generosity would impoverish them.
And so, immediately following her widowhood, Elizabeth knew poverty, homelessness, and persecution. All these trials she endured because of the simultaneous ecstatic mystical experiences she was enjoying. It was with gaiety that Elizabeth donned