Real and Phantom Pains: An Anthology of New Russian Drama. John Freedman

Real and Phantom Pains: An Anthology of New Russian Drama - John Freedman


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      BUSHY-TAIL: Yeah

      SNOWSTORM: I love animals. Like Churchill

      BUSHY-TAIL: Me too. Like Brigitte Bardot

      SNOWSTORM (Leads BUSH-TAIL over to his car. Opens the door for her): If I was an animal I’d be a bear. That’s the perfect lifestyle. You sleep half the year.

      (VOLODYA comes out of the café. Looks around. Looks at his watch. Looks at BUSHY-TAIL, SNOWSTORM, the Peugeot.)

      BUSHY-TAIL: Those little bear cubs are so cute –

      SNOWSTORM: Basically, you’ve got to love each other and be cool about it. Main thing is that nobody start a war

      (VOLODYA sees BUSHY-TAIL get into the Peugeot convertible. He takes out his pen and writes down the license plate.

      He stands and watches the car disappear into the distance as if he has gone blind and deaf and keeps going over something in his mind that he experienced long ago.)

      VOLODYA:

      Bones lay in the ground

      Gloom covers the earth

      Everything there was between us

      Has drowned in my heart

      (The café.)

      LENOCHKA (To ORANGINA): When are you coming back to work?

      ORANGINA: I’m not

      LENOCHKA: Why?

      ORANGINA: Do you really want to keep doing all this?

      LENOCHKA (Thinks): Well, yes

      SNOWFLAKE: Of course we do

      MANIAC: As if there were any other choice –

      (Kissing, BUSHY-TAIL and SNOWSTORM race down the road at a break-neck speed.

      BLIZZARD in his jail cell. He’s drawing a tattoo on his shoulder – the face of Jesus Christ in a crown of thorns.

      Dressed in a space suit, MANIAC slips an engagement ring on SNOWFLAKE’s finger.

      SNOWFLAKE in a rose dress, peonies in her hair.

      LENOCHKA is pregnant, she rubs her big belly.

      ORANGINA in a nun’s habit.

      VOLODYA still stands there by the café.

      With a horrendous crash a huge chunk of ice crashes to the ground just inches from him.

      VOLODYA lifts his head.

      The sun is warm.

      Snow is melting.

      Spring has come.)

      The End

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