Finding Our Happiness Flow. Dr. Robert Ph.D. Puff PhD
matter. These ideas and thoughts can affect our whole world, and clearly they’re powerful. So what we need to do is ask ourselves, “If thoughts matter, if ideas that I expose myself to matter, what am I exposing myself to?” Everything to which we are exposed matters. Everything. What I watch on television, what I read, whom I talk to, but most important what I am thinking about all day long all matter tremendously. What you think about all day long results from what you expose yourself to. It’s a catch-22. What you watch affects what you think, and what you think affects how you see the world. So we need to make the choice to be happy. Whatever ideas are formulating in our lives are going to affect us, either in a good or bad way. If we’re listening to the Happiness Podcasts, we’re exposing ourselves to good ideas, but if we’re watching or listening to negative, critical reports or advertising that feeds the wealth addiction, that is what we’re going to get. Whatever we expose ourselves to will impact us.
I’ve seen the positive results of this in my travels around the world where I’ve sought out the healthiest people I could find. Over the years, I have found that the people who are the healthiest are also the happiest people I’ve ever met. And I can tell they are very careful about what they expose themselves to in all aspects of life. They expose themselves to positive, good things.
What we take in from the world around us is a lot like the food we eat. If we eat well, we’re going to have good results; if we eat candy or consume alcohol or things that are not good for us, we’re going to have different results. If we eat well, we will feel well; it we eat poorly, we will feel poorly. Everything matters, everything. Desserts are okay in moderation. If we eat dessert all the time, it’s bad for us. The same goes for alcohol. A little bit of alcohol once in a while is not a big deal. Drink a lot of it, however, and you can become an alcoholic.
The same is true with our thoughts. If we’re watching and exposing ourselves to things that are beautiful, that are positive, that really feed our happiness, then that’s what we’re going to get—beautiful, positive thoughts and happiness. Once in a while, being involved with something that isn’t absolutely healthy is okay because it’s not in large amounts. But what I’m talking about is 90 to 95 percent of what we expose ourselves to. If it feeds our happiness and helps us move in the direction of being happy, we are going to be happy.
So we have to ask ourselves what are we feeding our minds in regards to happiness? Are we having conversations that are negative to other people or ourselves? Or are we talking only of the good others do and accepting people with their imperfections? Are we watching shows that are critical or harsh? Or are they beautiful and wonderful? Are the people in our lives critical, harsh, and negative? Or are they supportive, loving, and kind? It all matters. We can’t totally isolate ourselves from everything, but we can choose much of what comes into our lives, and the more selective we are and the more careful about what goes into our minds, the better we will do in life.
As an example, I have worked with a few people over the years that have struggled with depression. Like many people, they were watching a lot of the news. When they stopped, their negativity, depression, and anxiety abated; they got better. We are affected by everything we expose ourselves to. Mostly, it’s our thoughts that we have in our heads, but everything else around us affects those thoughts. We have to ask ourselves, is it good for us?
Now, we don’t want to be overwhelmed by totally changing our lifestyle. It’s like if you’ve been overdoing the consumption of sweets and then all of a sudden you eat only fruits and vegetables. The change can be so challenging you’ll quickly revert to refined sugar. But if we start small, we’re more likely to succeed in the long run. For instance, we can seek out people that are more positive and spend time with people who are uplifting and loving. Over time, we’re going to get used to that.
The difficult part is that former ways—whether sugar and alcohol or negative friends we’re used to—can be thrilling and making the change to healthier choices feel boring. But if you truly want to find happiness that surpasses everything you can imagine, you have to move in the direction of watching everything you’re exposing yourself to and you’ll see that what seems bland to other people’s taste is wonderful to those who are healthy and happy. They don’t need the thrills of wealth, materialism, drugs, or alcohol. Instead, just watching a beautiful sunset, spending time with someone you love, being in nature, and so on can be achieved any time and make you happy. It doesn’t require anything of you, and it’s so freeing to be happy without all the stuff, the negativity, and the downside that goes with materialism.
We can be happy, but it takes effort. We have to work at it and not assume we’re going to be happy just because we want to be. After all, everyone wants happiness. That’s why so many are pursuing things like wealth and addictions. But if we want to be happy, we have to pursue happiness, and that’s an internal journey—happiness isn’t external. Happiness comes when we are content with whatever is happening and find beauty and peacefulness in this contentment. Any of us can have it right now, but we have to work on finding it and be careful about influences that will be pushing us away from true, long-lasting happiness. They will try to teach us that if we have certain things, then we will be happy. Remember, these thoughts are incredibly powerful, thanks to the media’s brainwashing that wealth addiction is a good thing. If a worldwide hippie movement can be repressed through the media, then clearly, what we expose ourselves to matters and we have to be careful, not in a fearful way but by an increased awareness of the influence of the media and all else around us.
So here are three steps you can take to make sure you’re exposing yourself to good things.
First, be aware of what you are exposing yourself to. You can’t change anything until you’re aware.
Second, ask yourself if something is good or bad for you. Again, something bad once in a while is okay, but if it’s happening all the time, then your whole life can start becoming negative.
Third, if you want to change for the better, then make the choice to give up bad things and bring in only good things that are healthy for your mind, feed your happiness, and don’t take away from it. This could include bringing into your life people who are good for you. Start listening—really listening—to how things affect you. Do they put a smile on your face after you do it? Not just for the moment but permanently. For example, if I drink too much alcohol right now, I may feel better, but tomorrow morning, I’m going to feel horrible. In the long run, is what you’re exposing yourself to good for you? Is it helping you be a happier person? If so, then do more of it. If it’s negative, then do less.
These three steps—look at what you are doing, ask yourself if it is good or bad for you, and then start doing things that are good and doing less of the things that are bad for you—can give you a beautiful life. But we do need to acknowledge how powerful what we expose ourselves to is and how much it can impact us. Once we acknowledge it and really see it for what it is, then we will begin to move in the direction of making sure that everything we’re exposing ourselves to is moving us in the direction of happiness.
The most important consideration in finding happiness is what we think about all day long. When we watch the commercial that is teaching us that wealth addiction is the way to happiness, we are reinforcing that idea. When we think that if we had certain things we’d be happy, we are strengthening that thought. Yes, things around us are powerful, but what is far more powerful is when we let brainwashing take hold and start reinforcing those ideas through our own thoughts.
We choose what we think and can encourage positive influences on our thoughts by, for instance, listening to my Happiness Podcast and finding ways to be happy. These are just as, if not more, powerful at creating change in us and brainwashing us in a good way. Why not brainwash towards happiness instead of towards desires and things that are never fulfilling?
It was a lesson that helped me in the most powerful way when I realized that, yes, everything matters but what if I exposed myself to very positive, loving, helpful things? I will become healthier and happier. It works. It’s a law of nature. So let’s choose that path of happiness. Let’s choose to expose ourselves to things that fill us up and not empty us so that we can all have beautiful, happy lives.
Chapter Eight
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