Resilience Within. Cameron Fancourt

       This Book is dedicated to the wonderful, caring, love of my life Kelly and my beautiful children Charlotte, Bella, Mia, Harper, and Baby Boy. You are my everything!

      Acknowledgements

      Without the love, support, help, and encouragement from these people in my life, I don’t know where I would be today. Without the dedication, time, belief and patience given to me from the people mentioned below, I would not be here today writing this book.

      In those times of darkness, those times of deep shame, sadness, and total loss of direction, your genuine loyalty, acceptance, and unconditional love has often left me speechless. Tolerating my ups and downs, I’m humbled by your decision to stick with me and share this life’s journey with me.

      With sincere gratitude and love, I thank you for the daily impact you continue to make in my life.

      Adem Becerevic, Michelle Cavanaugh, Ally Dandy, Victor Davies, Francis F, Mary Johnson, Kelly Hekkenberg, Andrew Geraghty, Euan McMillan, Michael Rekow, Nick Richards, Caroline Rose, Brenda Rowlandson.

      Introduction

      As I sit here on a flight to Melbourne from Sydney, I pondered what an existence it would be, travelling the world, working effortlessly without attachment to a material life. The beauty of being free and travelling the world with my beautiful girlfriend completes that perfect picture. Looking out the window of a Qantas A330 I ponder what is next for me. A full and eventful 43 years have been and gone in a flash. So much has been achieved and learned, including valuable life skills, however there have been many hard life lessons too. How would I do this life again if I had the chance? Simple answer is, I would not have done it any other way.

      I start to wonder about the guy in front of me. Is he happy with his life; has he achieved all he set out to achieve; is he suffering. We all get caught in our own self-absorbed bubbles and it’s easy not to consider that every human around us has a story. Life is hard. We must continually fight the pressures of society, our parent’s values and the voices in our heads telling us what a failure we are. However, there is a way for us to live a life that is less limited by our stories and the values and beliefs of others.

      About Cam

      I have travelled the world extensively. I have met some of the greatest entrepreneurs of all time. I have had more experiences than the average person would have in an entire lifetime. As a kid I always dreamt of being one of the wealthiest men in Australia. By the age of 15 I was determined to have a minimum net worth of $100m, yet at 43 I am a far cry from that. Bankrupt three times and having to rise again and again seemed like a nightmare too big to conquer. More on this later.

      I have 4 beautiful children with a new baby on the way. A wonderful life partner, friendships that have withstood the test of time as well as a wealth of knowledge and experiences. The richness I feel whilst staring out the window of Row 33, makes me realise the true richness and value of what I have today. Money, careers and businesses come and go. What really matters are your children, your marriage or life partner, your close friends, your health and happiness and how you make a positive impact in the world.

      Resilience Introduced

      Rising from the ashes time and time again has taken its toll, damaging relationships along the way and wearing me down. The light that drove me throughout my life was not as bright as it used to be. The determination and courage to do it all again seemed like a dark and gloomy prospect. I was not sure whether I could do it all again. Was it all worth it? Yes it was, as the true value of what I have today are the lessons learned, knowledge you could not buy and tools to help me conquer the next forty years, far more wisely than the dated values that I lived by for the last forty.

      I consider how I have survived my life so far. I suffered a debilitating anxiety and panic disorder and fortunately was able to overcome it, even though I was certain that life was over for me. I thought I would never be able to travel or work again and my relationship was in tatters. I had lost all ground and confidence through three business failures, bankruptcy multiple times, three divorces and many broken relationships along the way. They always say things come in three’s, however I always thought this was a myth. What I began to realise was that the older I got the less it mattered. The idealism that society, parents and friends place upon us usually makes us conform with the generalisation you are ‘doing life all wrong’. I can’t say it’s been pleasant, and it certainly wasn’t what I ever imagined my life would look like. It has helped me to see life in a completely new and inspiring way. A way that I never imagined possible.

      I am by no means an evolved human being. However, I am much wiser from everything I have learned. It is scary and at times overwhelming to be facing life and its daily challenges… and that really sucks! You expect people to respond and support you in a certain way and they don’t. You feel let down, hurt and down-right pissed off that you are in a situation and nobody seems to understand or care. The fact of the matter is that the pressure, overwhelm, anxiety and disappointment is another life lesson, teaching us to accept what is. What we can change is our attitude, our vision of the future and how we choose to live the next hour, day, month and years of our lives.

      Finding comfort and acceptance for your life like a hand of cards you have been dealt is key. Life is hard and we must make the most of every day and every experience. What doesn’t break you makes you stronger. It is trite but also true. The value in knowledge, wisdom, and a deeper understanding of how each event shapes us and impacts us in both a positive and a negative way is important. Too many times I hear people saying how they have been “dealt” such bad luck. “It only happens to me!” or “It isnʼt fair. This keeps happening to me.” Life doesn’t happen to us. What happens is a biproduct of our choices.

      Does it have to be like this, do we have to allow technology to take over? Do we need to compete to be a better person, putting ourselves into an unnecessary bind financially, socially, mentally and emotionally? Marriage failures are at an all-time high. Suicides rates are increasing, and anxiety, depression, and stress disorders are at an all-time high. What on earth are we doing to ourselves? This is not freedom and a way to live, this is torture, torture to ourselves for what, the shallow existence of material things and keeping up with the Joneses has made us all lose perspective on what life’s meaning is all about. All this is painful and can be costly to our health and relationships.

      What Resilience Means for You

      We take on board the values of others and how they live their lives. Usually, this is because of their own pain and failures or that they haven’t measured up to be a person they are truly happy with. It is easier to put shit on others, rather than encourage and support them on their journey, without judgment. We place a lot of emphasis on driving ourselves into the ground, having to work ridiculous hours to make a dollar and survive. I came to realise that this is no longer the norm and that there are much easier and balanced ways to make a living without all the pressures we place upon ourselves. It is now socially acceptable to take a new career, build an online business and pack up and live in Bali, working on the beach. This was once a dream and you dare not share this with the wrong person, or boy you would cop it.

      I was brought up with the parental values that you should go to school, go to university, get a good stable job and stay with it for the rest of your life. Changing jobs multiple times in your life was almost a sin. Failure over and over again was shunned and there weren’t many around me that could say, “Wow, what a journey, what an experience!” or “Oh well! You have so much knowledge and so much to offer that we know you will be a great success in life.” I was not wired this way and flouting the norm was a great frustration to my parents and grandparents. I have always done the complete opposite and I encourage the same for my friends and children. These are old fashioned beliefs that no longer prevail in society and aren’t aligned with those values and beliefs any longer.

      I had a conversation with a family member recently who said to me, “You just have to get any old job to pay the bills.”

      “I