The Zombie and his Existential Crisis. Chantal Spies
be blown away. Under normal circumstamces, they’d have probably found the scenery quite pretty. In a rustic, melancholic sort of way of course. A moody sea was lying in front of them. They were surrounded by mist and tall cliffs covered in shrubs.
Frederick pulled a ragged book from his coat pocket. The wind made it difficult to page through it. “Here!” he shouted so that Lord George could hear him over the wind. Frederick pointed to a drawing of a ladder going down the cliff. “We need to find this ladder and go down towards the sea.” he continued. “But I haven’t seen any ladder, my prince.” They searched the cliffs for a way down. “Over here!” Frederick shouted. In front of them was a frayed ladder made out of rope, hidden behind some branches. “That doesn’t look safe.” Lord George couldn’t hide his fear. “Well, what’s the worst that can happen? We die? Again?” they both laughed nervously at Frederick’s really bad joke. “Our bodies could break into a thousand tiny pieces and we go into limbo - in pieces for all eternity.” Lord George said. “Well, we have to risk resting in pieces if we ever want to rest in peace.” Something about the dark sea put Frederick in a poetic mood.
“Ready?” the zombie grabbed hold of the rope ladder and began to climb down. The first few steps weren’t too bad. Lord George kept his eyes shut as he knew looking down at the crashing waves would make him panicky. Frederick continued to climb down step-by-step, holding on tight. He knew that they had to make it down on time while it was still low tide. According to Nurse Melinda’s book of instructions, that was the only way to make it through the small passageway into the cave. That’s where they would face their first challenge. The thought of it made him feel sick.
Frederick climbed faster and faster. His foot slipped. He tried to grab onto the rope, but it too slipped through his hands. He kept trying to get hold of the rope. Lord George screamed and held onto Frederick’s hair as they spiraled down together towards the pointy rocks. As they plummeted, Frederick’s shirt got caught on a rock. He swung his body towards the rope ladder and grabbed it again. After taking a few seconds to recover from the shock, he continued to climb down. Just as he got his confidence back, Lord George led out another scream. Frederick looked down and saw giant sword fish jumping towards them. To make matters worse, these were no ordinary swordfish. They were decomposing, red-eyed zombie swordfish! Yes, they were about to be attacked by zombie swordfish. Things were getting a little bit extra for our low key zombie prince. The swordfish went straight for the back of Frederick’s neck. He kept on swinging the ladder in the opposite direction until the fish crashed against the cliffs. George noticed the tide coming in. They had to get down there soon. Suddenly, more and more zombie swordfish jumped towards them. Frederick lost his grip on the ladder. Together, Frederick and Lord George fell into the dark, angry water.
Chapter 7: More feeling, less thinking?
The duke was really nervous. “Do I look alright mother?” he asked as he checked out his outfit in the full-length mirror. “You look handsome my darling.” The Crow said. She was transformed half crow, half human with the body of a human, but with the head and wings of a crow. “Now, what did mummy teach you?” Herment took a deep breath and rattled off the list of manly must-haves his mother taught him, “Be everything a woman wants and needs. Strong yet sensitive, funny but not a clown. Make her feel safe, but not in an overbearing way. Spoil her but respect her independence. Give her attention, but not too much. Oh, and be mysterious so she doesn’t get bored.” The duke was overwhelmed, women sounded so complicated.
“Very good.” she said and combed his hair flat with the tip of her wing. “Gosh! It’s hard work getting a girl to like you. Good thing we’re not in the Romantic era yet and titles still get you ahead in the game.” Duke chuckled nervously at his own joke. “The Romantic era?” the crow didn’t know that her son was an academic. “Yes, the Romantic era. It will happen around the year 1800. People will start to marry for love for the first time. It will be a reaction to the so-called Age of Reason where all people do is think. But near the end, romantics will demand less thinking and more feeling.” The duke answered as he imagined what it must be like to live in that era.
The crow always knew that her son had the heart of a poet – but this was all too much. If he was going to be king, he would have to be a thinker, not a romantic. She also knew that this ‘marrying for love’ nonsense was dangerous. She had to burst his bubble, so she called over one of her time travel ghosts.
“My son here just told me a fascinating story, that I assume he heard from you, time travel ghost. It is about the so-called Romantic era.” “Yes mistress. It is a very beautiful time in history. The music, the art and extraordinary fashion--” the crow stopped the ghost in his tracks. “Yes, yes, I am sure it’s all very sweet. But how does it play out? Further into the future, I mean. Say in the year 2010.” The crow knew all too well that the answer wouldn’t be very romantic.
The ghost cleared his throat, “Well, most people are happy that they have the freedom to choose the person they marry and –” This wasn’t what the crow wanted to hear. “Facts. I need facts ghost. Numbers and figures.” The servant ghost was in too deep now and he knew it, “Unfortunately most marriages will end up in divorce – about 44% globally. Numerous studies have shown that unmarried people are a lot happier than married people, in the future.” The ghost couldn’t help his answer, it was a historical-future fact.
“Ah! Not so romantic after all this whole love and freedom thing?” The crow was satisfied that she got to the truth. Her truth, “Well at least they have the freedom to make their own mistakes.” Duke Herment tried to make a case for it, but couldn’t hide his disappointment. “No, no, my dear son, they have something far worse: the freedom to hope. Hope is simply postponed disappointment. Hope is the enemy. They hope that their chosen partner will make them happy and when their partner does not, they hope that having children will make them happy. While they are hoping they are pretending.” The crow was on a proper rant now. “But mother—” Herment muttered. The crow cupped her son’s face in her wings and looked at him, “Now you listen to mummy. Romance isn’t worth the trouble.”
In preparation for her date with the duke, Minna put on her dark blue, velvet dress. It’s what was required of her for a ‘date by royal decree’ as she called it. Her hair was pinned up and adorned with little pearls. Her mind kept wandering back to the day she and Frederick first met. Ever since she was little, her parents made her believe that marriage was a duty. They wanted to make sure their child had a realistic idea of royal marriage. In their case, it was all about strengthening bonds between kingdoms. They made it clear that it wasn’t a “must-have” for her to love her husband, only her country. However, if you were as lucky as her parents were, you’d grow to love the one you were with. Her mother’s favourite lesson was, “Love is something you do. Not something you feel.”
In her parents’ case this was true. Through acts of kindness and respect towards each other they grew closer. What began as friendship turned into love. She knew that her parents loved each other deeply, maybe more than their ego’s would allow them admit. When her mother passed away, her father mourned her death for months. He could hardly eat. In the five years since her mother’s death, he never remarried. But make no mistake, there were many high-profile widows who tried to grab his attention. A certain beautiful and mysterious, Duchess Violetta put herself at the top of that list.
For some time, Minna thought Violetta might be “The One” for her father. Violetta was constantly at the castle and she noticed her at every ball. But no matter how hard she tried to get the king to fall in love with her, he just couldn’t. When Minna asked him about it, he said that remarrying would feel like saying his final goodbye to her mother. He simply wasn’t ready to do that. Shortly after Violetta left, the king fell ill and Herment was placed in charge. As per the agreement that was signed 5 years before her mother died. It stated that should something happen to the King while Minna was still unmarried, the Duke would take over.
At first, the citizens thought the Duke would be the reason for their entire kingdom’s downfall. To everyone’s surprise, he wasn’t actually that bad of a ruler. After a while, people started to like the anxious, skinny man with his funny contagious laugh. As