Drama Queers!. Frank Anthony Polito
and Sheryl cried out in three-part harmony.
I covered my face with my hands, the way Mom taught me to do whenever there was a scary part, like when Bugs Bunny met Dr. Jekyll and he turned into Mr. Hyde. Yet I couldn’t help sneaking a peek thru my tiny little fingers the second I heard that horrible sound.
“Oh, my God…”
I started crying soon as I seen Joe slumped over the steering wheel and Jamie laying against the dashboard…blood on her shoulder. Thank God that other car with them two guys in it pulled up. How could they just drive away without stopping to help?
Poor Joe…He took one look at his soon-to-be wedded wife and knew there was nothing he could do. Holding her tight, he sobbed, “Jamie…Jamie.”
Leave it to the Hardy Boys to go undercover and catch the killer!
I particularly loved the part when Joe befriended Jocco and they threw that party out at their fancy beach house. I immediately recognized the Muzak version of “How Deep is Your Love?” from the Saturday Night Fever soundtrack playing in the background…God, I wanted to see that movie sooo bad!
I remember being confused when Frank arrived and Joe acted like he didn’t recognize his brother. Really, it was all just part of the plan to set Jocco up and bust him for selling stolen goods. Until Jocco got wise to Frank posing as a big-time surfer, and sent him out on his board in shark-infested waters…I’ll never forget the sight of Parker Stevenson in that wetsuit, even though my heart would always belong to Shaun Cassidy.
The only other part of “The Last Kiss of Summer” that I remember comes at the very end. After being haunted by her memory the entire episode, Joe spots Jamie walking down the beach in her bikini bathing suit. He runs up to her, touches her on the shoulder, and says, “Excuse me…”
“If the world should stop revolving, spinning slowly down to die…”
She turns around—and it’s some other girl.
How Joe could’ve been mistaken, I never understood. This broad looked nothing like beautiful Jamie. In fact, wasn’t she kind of a dog, if I recall correctly?
“Mommy!”
Later that evening when Laura returned with Jim, she reached into her purse. Besides watching The Hardy Boys on TV, this was always my favorite part of the night.
“Hold out your hands and open your eyes…”
Mom always brought us a special treat on bowling night. I don’t know why, but no matter what kind, candy always tasted better coming from a vending machine. This time, I got a Hershey bar and Janelle got a Kit Kat. Nina and Brittany were already asleep so they were shit outta luck.
After we took our bath, Mom tucked us both into bed together.
“Next time you go shopping,” I whispered, so as not to wake up Nina or Brittany in the bed beside us, “will you buy me a Shaun Cassidy record?”
Mom sat down next to me, looking like she didn’t know what the hell I was talking about. “I might…If you tell me who Shaun Cassidy is.”
“He’s just this boy on TV,” I replied, adding, “Janelle thinks he’s cute.”
Mom smiled, looking at my older sister. “Then how come Janelle isn’t asking for his record?”
Coming to her baby brother’s rescue, she replied, “We can share it.”
Mom kissed my forehead. “Don’t forget to say your prayers.” She pulled the blanket up so that it barely covered my ear before turning out the light, making sure to leave the door open a smidge.
Dear God, I prayed, eyes closed, hands folded together beneath my chin. Bless Mommy and Daddy and please don’t let them fight anymore…Bless Janelle and Nina and Brittany…And Grandpa and Grandma Dayton and Grandpa and Grandma Victor…
Who else?
Bless my teacher, Miss Langton, and all the kids in my class at Miller Elementary in Center Line, Michigan. Even Jeffy Morgan who picks on me sometimes.
Now for the important stuff…
And please God, if you think about it, next time Mommy goes to Kmart’s, maybe you can remind her to buy me a Shaun Cassidy record. The one with “Da Doo Run Run”—I mean, “Da Doo Ron Ron—okay? I promise I’ll be extra good and I won’t fight with my sisters anymore. Especially when we’re in your house…In the name of your Son, amen.
Lo and behold, a few days later when I got home from school, guess what I found?
Propped up on my pillow, the full-sized face of Shaun Cassidy stared back at me from the cover of his self-titled debut album, hand behind his head, a smile upon his lips, wearing the cutest little white hat cocked to one side. Hard to believe that was over ten years ago…God, I’m getting old!
How fitting was it that the first part I’d be auditioning for at Hazel Park High would be Curly McClain, opposite the role of Laurey Williams, first made famous in Okla-homo!—I mean, Oklahoma!—by Shaun Cassidy’s mother, Shirley Jones?
“What’ve you got for us today?”
Us being Mr. Dell’Olio and his Sophomore Student Director, a girl I knew from Ms. Lemieux’s 7th grade Enriched English & Social Studies at Webb, Claire Moody. They both sat scrutinizing me from the front row of the auditorium. First I had to perform a monologue I prepared on my own, and if Dell liked what he saw, he’d ask me to sing and/or read from the script.
“I’ll be doing a monologue from my fav-rid—I mean, favorite—movie,” I told him, hitting the T, my voice trembling with fear. I wiped my sweaty palms on the front of my khaki pants, hoping they didn’t leave a stain.
“Good, good,” Mr. Dell’Olio replied. “What is it?”
With the utmost confidence, I answered, “Somewhere in Time, starring Jane Seymour and Christopher Reeves—I mean, Reeve.” I always get that wrong!
Dell nodded and smiled, making a note on his clipboard. At that point, I never had him for a teacher, but he seemed like a nice guy. And The Skeleton Walks turned out pretty good earlier that fall so I been wanting to work with him ever since.
“Whenever you’re ready.”
I stared down at my topsiders, took a deep breath, in and out. I closed my eyes for a moment. When I opened them, I imagined myself as Jane Seymour, with Christopher Reeve (no S) watching me from the audience.
“The man of my dreams has almost faded now…”
Personally, I gave an awesome audition. And I must have, because after I finished my monologue Mr. Dell’Olio asked, “What’re you gonna sing?”
“Um…”
The only song I could find the sheet music for was “Too Young” by Jack Wagner. You know, Frisco from General Hospital. Because I never been in a musical, I didn’t know the first thing about auditioning for one. All I knew was I needed to prepare sixteen bars.
“Sounds good,” Mr. Dell’Olio said all smiles. “Liza will play for you…Again, whenever you’re ready.”
Sporting her signature spider, Liza Larson smiled at me from behind the piano down in the pit. Back then, I didn’t know her very well. Like I said, we would later become buddies once I got brave enough to smoke out on Skid Row.
“All set?” Liza asked me.
I took a deep breath and listened as her fingers began working their magic.
“Hello, love, it’s been way too long…”
Boy, did I sing my butt off! I reached notes I never hit practicing in my bedroom. My pitch was perfect. Sad to say, I didn’t get the part.
At least not the lead, Curly.
This guy, Jake Czyzyk, got it just because he was a Senior—and