A Choice of Secrets. Barb Hendee
That is the only change I wish to make.”
Had the ground behind him opened up and a flight of birds risen up from the hole, I could not have been more surprised or confused. I wasn’t even certain I’d heard him correctly.
“You’ve never visited Whale’s Keep and neither has Chloe,” he said, the desperation in his voice increasing. “The keep is on an island, too far out for a bridge. The only way on or off is by boat and for much of the year, the crossing is not comfortable. All the nobles at court speak of Whale’s Keep with such admiration, but few ever make a visit, and if they do, they rarely visit twice.”
“I don’t understand what you’re trying to—”
“There is no society there,” he rushed on. “There are no banquets with guests, no dancing, no noblewomen for tea, and my sister manages the household. We live apart from the world. What would Chloe do with her days? But you—you could be happy there. The ground is fertile and you could plant your gardens. I would build you beehives myself. I would build whatever type of henhouse you wished and paint it white with blue trim.”
He was in earnest.
I stared at him. “You would put Chloe aside?”
“Listen to me!” he said in anguish. “I should never have agreed to marry her, but I was drawn to the connection with your family. You have always seen me as a kind of brother and I never imagined that you might see me as a man, not until last night, not until you laughed while dancing with me and you held onto my arm and ate food from my hand.” He paused. “I have no wish to harm Chloe, but she would not be happy and in the years to come, she would blame me. In turn, I would blame her for a lack of love, and bitterness would grow between us. But you could be happy on the island…with me. Our bond would grow. We are suited for each other. Chloe and I are not suited.”
Though I’d thought myself a woman, perhaps until that moment much of me had still been a child, and his words were a revelation. I saw the truth in them. To me, if a man and a woman married, they would naturally care for each other and care for each other’s happiness—as my parents did. But the future Christophe painted for himself and Chloe could be all too true, as was the future he painted for himself and me.
“Oh, Christophe,” I whispered, for a lack anything else to say.
He leaned closer and lowered his voice. “I love you. I know Chloe is your sister and you are of the same blood, but I want to make my sons and my daughters with you.”
Bloodlines meant so much to him. This much I’d already known. To my shock, I began to imagine the life he envisioned for us, living on his island and raising our children quietly away from the rest of the world. I’d never planned to leave White Deer Lodge, but I cared for Christophe and I understood the things he was saying.
Was he right in this? Was his betrothal to Chloe a mistake for them both?
And yet…he had already signed a contract, and their betrothal was public knowledge.
“What does my father say?” I asked, looking back toward the barracks.
One look at my father’s face told me what he thought. Beneath his tension, he was frightened. If Christophe broke the betrothal with Chloe for any reason, she would be shamed. But we needed Christophe’s goodwill a great deal more than he needed ours. I suspected that were my father not in dire need of de Fiore soldiers, this conversation between Christophe and myself would not be taking place.
Christophe moved in front of me, in a crouched position, blocking my view. “I want to know what you say, not your father.”
“Let me talk to him. Please.”
For a moment, I thought he would not allow me to stand up and walk away, but then he rocked backward. “Talk to him, then.”
Quickly, I rose and closed the distance between my father and myself. Christophe followed.
“He’s told you, then,” Father said immediately. It was not a question.
Again, we both knew there was a great deal at stake here, but my thoughts were for my sister. “What will become of Chloe if I accept Christophe’s proposal?” I asked.
“If he puts her aside for you, there will be gossip,” he answered. “In the eyes of the world, she is a better choice and he has already signed a contract. If he alters the contract now in favor of you, the nobles will believe she is damaged somehow. She will never make a great match. She will be seen as flawed.”
This had been my suspicion, but I’d needed him to confirm it. In my mind, I continued picturing the life Christophe had painted for himself and me, and I was in near-disbelief by how much I was drawn both to him and to what he offered. I’d never seen him as more than a beloved potential brother. Now, I realized he was a great deal more, or he could be more.
But he was pledged to my sister and I’d never do anything to harm her. Though she might not be happy at Whale’s Keep, she would be the lady of a great house and she would be respected. Chloe was proud and to her, respect was more important than happiness.
And yet, I had no wish to hurt Christophe either. I cared for him.
This was awful.
Turning, I looked up into his face, focusing first on his shadowed jaw and then his gray eyes. “You know I can’t accept you at the expense of Chloe’s good name.”
My father exhaled in relief.
But Christophe’s features shifted to panic.
“Nicole!” he said. “You’re not thinking clearly. This is our only chance. If you refuse me now, we will both end up living the wrong lives.”
His words were like blades and my throat began to close in fear that he was right.
“You heard her,” my father cut in angrily. “I agreed to let you ask her, and you have your answer. Now I need to know if you intend to live up to the contract you signed. My lady has planned the wedding for the end of this month. Will your honor our agreement?”
Christophe stepped backward in defeat. “I am a man of my word. You know I’ll honor our agreement.”
“Good,” my father said, breathing raggedly. “Whether you believe me or not, I do understand your reasons for proposing this change. Remember, when I was younger than you, I married a girl much like Nicole.” He paused. “But I promise that Chloe will make a fine lady of Whale’s Keep, and your blood mixed with hers will continue a strong de Fiore line.”
Christophe wouldn’t look at him, but nodded and turned away. “I’ll be leaving within the hour. I’ll return at the end of the month.”
He walked away.
I stood in silence for a few long moments, trying to process all that had just happened. “Father, are you angry with me?”
“Angry? Why would I be angry?”
“I don’t know. I just can’t help feeling that I’ve done something wrong.”
“You’ve done nothing wrong. I’ve worried this was a tenuous match between him and your sister since I signed the agreement. But it is a good match, and our people must have the protection of de Fiore’s troops.” He patted my back. “I knew you would think only of your sister, but I did fear that if you refused him, he might break the agreement.”
“He’d never have done that.”
“Perhaps not.” My father’s expression grew intense again. “No one can ever know what happened this morning, not your mother, not Erik, and certainly not Chloe. Can you be silent?”
His question offended me. “Of course I can. What do you take me for? I understand a good deal more than you think. I turn eighteen years old this coming winter and I am a woman.”
He sighed. “Forgive me. Much as it pains me, you are a woman, and now you and I share a secret.”
Yes,