The Hidden Women. Kerry Barrett
again.
‘And then Mum decided she wanted to be a writer, which wasn’t really in their plan,’ he said with a smile. I could see he was really proud of his family and my heart swelled a tiny bit more. ‘But they were so supportive of her. And she worked all the way through university to pay for herself.’
‘They all sound amazing,’ I said.
‘Then Mum met my dad,’ Jack said. ‘And it all went a bit wrong for a while.’
‘Wrong, how?’
‘He wasn’t a bad bloke, by all accounts. He seemingly loved Mum and they planned to get married. But she found out she was pregnant and he got scared, I think.’
I rolled my eyes. ‘Same old story,’ I said sharply.
Jack looked at me with interest. ‘Sounds like you mean that,’ he said.
I gave him a grim smile. ‘Happened to me,’ I said, wondering why on earth I was sharing my story with him and yet somehow unable to resist.
‘My boyfriend legged it when I got pregnant,’ I said. ‘Well, I legged it actually but only after he’d given me a brochure for an abortion clinic.’
‘Ah,’ said Jack.
‘Ah.’
‘And did you, erm …?’
I smiled properly this time and showed him the photo on my phone. ‘Dora’s two,’ I said. ‘And she’s not seen Greg for more than a year. He took a job in Canada.’
Jack winced. ‘What a douche,’ he said.
I suddenly felt uncomfortable, sharing so much with a stranger. ‘It’s fine,’ I said. ‘We’re fine.’ I smiled. ‘Show me a family that doesn’t have a baby born with the whiff of a scandal and I’ll show you a family that knows how to keep secrets.’
Jack nodded sadly. ‘My dad’s family were quite traditional and a mixed-race grandkid born out of wedlock didn’t really work for them.’
I patted his hand, trying hard to fight the temptation to gather him up into my arms. He looked so sad.
‘I met them a few times, and my dad was around a bit when I was younger, but he got married to someone else and his visits got less and less frequent. By the time I was ten, I never saw him at all.’
‘Did you miss him?’ I was fairly sure Dora never gave Greg a second thought but I worried she would as she got older.
He shook his head. ‘I’d never had a proper relationship with him.’
‘How did you find out he’d died?’
‘Solicitor,’ Jack said, shrugging. ‘He left me some money.’
‘So he was thinking about you after all.’
‘I think that makes it worse,’ Jack said. ‘Because he could have just rung, you know? And I’m doing okay, in my career. I didn’t need his money – but I needed a dad.’
I breathed out. This was so sad. I hoped he’d be as honest with the camera crew when they filmed his story – it would make a great episode.
‘And you want to know more about his family now?’
‘I know lots about my Caribbean side. I know everything. I’ve met everyone. I know the recent history and I know further back – the murky bits. The nasty, horrible, slavery bits.’
I nodded again.
‘And I’m really aware that I can only go so far back on that side of my family. We will never be able to go much further than a few generations because no one kept records. I don’t know where we came from, or what my ancestors did, and I will never be able to find out.’
‘So now you’re filling the gap on the other side instead?’ I said, understanding now where his drive to discover his family came from.
‘That’s the plan.’ He gave me a little sheepish smile. ‘Sorry to be so demanding.’
I smiled back at him and for a second we stayed that way, eyes locked, smiling at each other, until I dropped my gaze. What was I doing?
‘I don’t mind at all,’ I said honestly. ‘Happy to help.’
‘Did you find out anything about your own family mystery?’
I didn’t understand what he was talking about. Did he mean Greg? I knew where he was. I looked at him blankly. ‘What mystery?’
‘Your Lilian Miles,’ he said.
‘Oh, Lilian. No, not really. I don’t think there’s anything mysterious about it all …’
‘But?’
‘But there was a look between my parents, when I mentioned what I’d found.’
Jack sat up a bit straighter. ‘And?’ he said.
‘And my dad turned up here and asked me to research her some more.’
‘Interesting,’ said Jack, raising his eyebrows.
‘I chatted about it with my sister …’
‘You’ve got a sister?’
‘I’ve got two,’ I said, finding the way his mind darted between subjects a bit disconcerting. Maybe he had drunk too much coffee. ‘And a brother.’
‘Awesome,’ Jack said. ‘So what did your sister say?’
‘She said I should ask my great-aunt what she did during the war and whether this Lilian Miles is her.’
‘Seems reasonable enough.’
‘I suggested that to Dad,’ I went on.
‘And what did he say?’
I frowned. ‘He didn’t really say anything because we were interrupted. He was very keen for me to research her, though. I don’t understand why.’
‘I understand,’ Jack said.
I stared at him. ‘You do?’
‘I understand what it’s like not to know about part of your family,’ he explained. ‘Maybe your dad feels the same.’
‘Perhaps,’ I said, doubtfully. ‘But he knows all about Lil. She even lived with us for a while. She’s hardly an enigma.’
Jack grinned. ‘But you don’t know about her war.’
‘Well, no …’
‘So she is an enigma. At least part of her life is.’
I shook my head, feeling like he’d just backed me into a corner. ‘Dad was hiding something,’ I said thoughtfully, almost to myself. ‘It was like he didn’t want to tell me the real reason he was so keen.’
‘You have to find out more,’ Jack said.
Eagerly, he took my hand and I felt a jolt like the electric shocks I always got off the dodgy lift buttons in the office. Surprised, I pulled my hand away and he looked embarrassed.
‘Sorry,’ he said. ‘I shouldn’t have done that.’
‘No, don’t apologise,’ I blustered. ‘I just got an electric shock is all.’
He smiled at me. ‘Sorry,’ he said again. ‘Next time I take your hand, I’ll warn you in advance so you can earth yourself.’
‘Next time,’ I said, sounding robotic and as though I didn’t really understand the words, like Eleven from Stranger Things.
We smiled at each other and I felt myself flush.
‘So, yeah,’ I said briskly, to break the awkward moment. ‘Dad wants me to look at the service records but I explained I’m not allowed.