The Hidden Women. Kerry Barrett
eyes unblinking. I thought she was going to ask me if I was being completely honest, but she didn’t and I was grateful. Instead she squeezed my hand.
‘We’ll stick together,’ she said. ‘Like the Three Musketeers.’
I grinned. ‘One for all and all for one,’ I said. I threaded my arm through hers and then through Annie’s and we walked to the door, ready to go and meet Will.
He was waiting by the mess hut, laughing with a couple of other mechanics and smoking a cigarette.
‘Evening, ladies,’ he said, straightening up as we approached. ‘Lilian.’
I nodded to him. ‘Will,’ I said.
We fell into step as we walked down the short road to where the dance was being held. We could hear the music as we got closer and my spirits lifted a bit.
‘Like dancing?’ Will said.
I smiled. ‘I love it.’
Inside the hall was pulsing with life. We’d all been flying non-stop for weeks, getting planes in position for the landings on the beaches in France. We’d not known what was happening of course – we only found out afterwards. But we were proud to have played a part in something so important. The hard work of the last few weeks, though, meant everyone was desperate for some fun – and from the look of the hall they were already having it.
The men mostly wore RAF uniforms. They were jiving with girls in bright red lipstick, their hair shining and, I saw with a relieved smile, gravy browning on their legs. There were a few GIs; I guessed they were passing through. They were getting a lot of attention with girls flocking round them like bees round a honey pot. Some of those girls, I couldn’t help noticing, wore actual Nylon stockings. On the stage was a small band with a pianist, a drummer, a trumpet player and a female singer. Like I always did – and knowing I was being stupid – I scanned their faces, pausing a second longer on the pianist, just in case.
Will steered us over to a table in the corner. ‘Have a seat,’ he said. ‘I’ll get some drinks.’
‘Want to dance?’ Flora said.
I shook my head. ‘Not yet, I just want to sit here and soak it all up.’ It was ages since there had been a dance near enough for us all to go to. ‘You go – I’ll be fine.’
‘Sure?’ Flora looked concerned.
‘I’m sure,’ I said. ‘Will’s just gone for some drinks and you’ll be right over there.’
Flora, Annie and Will’s friends swirled off to the dance floor and I sat drinking in the atmosphere. I loved everything about it. The heat coming off the dancers, the cloud of smoke from people’s cigarettes, the buzz of conversation fighting with the music from the band. Everything. I thought I’d like to play in a dance band one day. If I ever got tired of flying.
‘You look happy,’ Will said, handing me a glass of something.
I smelled it – cider I thought – and took a suspicious sip. It was sweet and slightly fizzy.
‘I love this,’ I said to Will as he drew up a chair next to me. ‘I love how the music just makes everyone forget about their worries and throw off their responsibilities.’
‘The music and the cider,’ Will said, with a wink.
I laughed.
‘So, Lilian Miles,’ Will carried on. ‘Tell me your story.’
I blinked at him. What did he mean?
‘Not much to tell,’ I said airily.
‘How did you end up in the ATA?’
‘Oh, just thought it sounded fun,’ I said vaguely. ‘My brother’s in the RAF and I didn’t think he should be the only one who got to fly.’
Will looked impressed. ‘Must be in your blood,’ he said. ‘You’ve certainly got the knack.’
I bristled, just a little bit. ‘I’ve worked hard.’
‘Course.’ Will caught the edge to my voice and changed the subject.
‘Let me tell you about something Gareth did earlier …’ he began.
As he told the funny story, I started to relax. Will was very easy to be with – he had a sharp eye for people’s quirks and a funny way of telling stories. I laughed as he told an anecdote about some of the RAF officers on the base. He was a lovely man, I thought.
‘Dance?’ he eventually suggested and I nodded. He took my hand and led me out to the floor, swinging me round as another jive track started. He wasn’t the best dancer but what he lacked in skill he made up for in enthusiasm, whirling me backwards and forwards across the floor until I was breathless and giddy.
‘Having fun?’ Annie spun past me, on the arm of one of Will’s friends, called Frank.
‘Lots of fun,’ I gasped. I was happier than I’d been for ages. Months. Years, perhaps. Not for the first time in my life, I marvelled at just how wonderful music was at making everything seem better.
‘Come with me,’ Annie said, grabbing my hand. ‘Will, you get us some more drinks.’
Will saluted Annie jokingly and, giggling madly, Annie, Flora and I crowded into the lav where two women were checking their hair at the mirror.
‘So?’ said Flora, craning her neck to check her seams were still in place on the back of her legs.
‘So what?’ I looked at my reflection. My hair was coming loose and my cheeks were flushed.
‘Do you like him?’
‘Will?’
‘No, Father Christmas. Of course, Will,’ Annie said.
I leaned against the wall. ‘He’s lovely,’ I said. ‘He’s so funny, and charming. And he loves to dance.’
‘Uh-oh,’ said Flora. ‘I think someone has a crush.’
I felt myself blush. ‘That’s just the thing,’ I said with a sigh. I waited for the two girls who’d been doing their hair to leave so it was just the three of us. ‘I don’t.’
Annie looked at me. ‘Really?’
I shook my head, sadly. ‘Nothing,’ I said. ‘I wish I felt something – a spark or something – but I don’t.’
Flora draped an arm round my shoulder. ‘Darling Lil,’ she said. ‘I know you play your cards close to your chest.’
‘And a lovely chest it is,’ Annie drawled. She sat up on the sink next to me and lit a cigarette as Flora nudged her to be quiet.
‘When I joined up, I never thought I’d be lucky enough to meet two girls like you,’ Flora went on. ‘I was so bloody scared and you made it better.’
I smiled at her. I felt the same.
‘And I know you don’t want to talk about what happened to you,’ she said. I dropped my eyes from hers. It was too hard to think about and I was grateful the girls knew something was wrong inside of me, but never pushed me to elaborate. Flora squeezed me a bit tighter. ‘But I also know that we are all a bit damaged. Some more than others. That’s just life. And if you don’t want to be with Will, then don’t force it. Maybe it’ll happen later, maybe it won’t. It’s fine either way.’
I felt tears heavy behind my eyelids and blinked them away. ‘Thanks,’ I whispered.
Annie jumped down from the sink. ‘Thank God none of us are flying tomorrow,’ she said, stubbing out her cigarette. ‘I’m more than a bit tiddly.’
‘It’s a shame, though,’ Flora said. ‘Because if one of us had been on that trip to Newcastle, we could have …’
‘Shh,’ said Annie covering