Gotta Have It. Lori Wilde
you’ve never had great sex.”
“I don’t see what the big deal is.”
Tess sighed and ran a hand through her short, spiky red hair. “Jeez Abby, don’t you ever just allow yourself to get carried away by the moment?”
“You know how I feel about letting my emotions spill out of control. It’s undignified and destructive.”
“Come on, tell the truth. Somewhere deep down inside, when you were sleeping with Mr. Boring Buttoned-Down, didn’t you fantasize about an explosive, passionate man who would sweep you off your feet, spirit you away to some mountain top and savagely ravage you?”
“Tess!”
“Just answer the question.”
“Sometimes,” Abby mumbled.
All the time, she thought to herself, and that was why she fought so hard to keep her sexual desires under wraps. She knew from experience the havoc unbridled passion wrought. Dark obsession scared the pants off her.
Tess’s eyes lit up. “Do tell! Is he somebody famous? Or is your dream lover someone you know?”
“I don’t really want to discuss this,” Abby said, but a mental picture of Durango Creed immediately jumped into her head.
In her mind’s eye he looked exactly as he had at eighteen when he had ridden out of her life forever. Black jeans, black leather jacket, black White Snake T-shirt, straddling his Ducati and begging her to run away with him. His ruggedly handsome face had glistened in the moonlight. His shoulder-length ebony hair was windblown, his black eyes deep and penetrating.
And his wicked, wicked smile had promised nothing but trouble.
He’d been the dead opposite of a knight in shining armor on a white charger.
In her daydreams, she longed for him to fulfill the promise inherent in his smile, but in reality, she’d sent him away without crossing that dangerous line. She had not acted on her impulses.
Thank God.
It was the smartest thing she’d ever done.
Or at least that was what she kept telling herself.
“This is the first time you’ve even hinted that you have secret sex dreams,” Tess said. “You’ve been holding out. Fill me in, woman.”
“It’s silly. Illogical. And I should know better.” Abby toed the dirt, staining her pristine white slipper with rich red Arizona soil. She knew she was ruining the shoes, but at this point, who cared?
“Abby, everyone has sex fantasies. It’s normal. Honestly, I was beginning to think you were some kind of freak. It heartens me to hear you have a dream lover.”
“Normal? For ten years? Even when you have a fiancé? It doesn’t seem normal to me. I shouldn’t have been fantasizing about anyone but Ken.”
“If you had been fantasizing about Ken, you would be sitting here bawling your eyes out, brokenhearted over getting dumped.”
“Maybe if I had been fantasizing about my nice safe Ken, instead of some dangerous, long-ago hell-raiser, I wouldn’t have gotten dumped.”
“Omigod.” Tess clapped her hands with sudden glee. “Your midnight man is Durango Creed!”
“No, he’s not,” Abby lied quickly, and immediately had to raise her hanky to her nose to stay a sneeze.
“If your fantasy lover isn’t Durango, then how come you’re sneezing?”
“Because I have allergies.”
“That’s bullshit and you know it. Whenever you deny your passion, you start sneezing.”
“No, I do not,” Abby refuted her claim and promptly sneezed again.
“See what I mean? If you don’t stop lying about your desires, you’re gonna go into anaphylactic shock. Besides, it’s nothing to be ashamed of, half the women in Phoenix had a jones for Durango.”
“Precisely why I didn’t…I don’t have a thing for him.” Abby sneezed a third time.
“Me thinks thou doth sneeze too much.”
“Okay, all right. I did have a crush on him,” Abby grumbled.
“Now was that so hard to confess?”
Yes. But at least she didn’t sneeze again.
“Well, it really doesn’t matter. I’m sure Durango Creed hates my guts. I was such a bitch to him.”
“Oh please, you’ve never been a bitch to anyone.”
“I refused to trust in him. I told him I couldn’t have a future with a common criminal.” Even now the memory of the harsh words she’d been forced to say made her cringe with regret.
“You did it to protect yourself. What else could you do? And I’m sure he’s gotten over you rejecting him by now. What was he thinking anyway? Giving you an ultimatum, expecting you to choose between him and your life in Silverton Heights?”
“He was hurt and confused. It was a real blow when his father remarried a woman half his age only four months after Durango’s mother died. And then for his dad to take his new wife’s side against his own son…” Abby let her sentence trail off.
“And it probably didn’t help matters any when your dad had Durango thrown in the slammer for a week for vandalizing his stepmother’s warehouse.”
Abby shook her head. It had been a rough time in her life.
Yeah, and it was even rougher for Durango.
“Can we just drop this conversation, please?” she asked.
“Aw, just when I finally got your number? No wonder you’re glad Ken ran off with Racy Racine. You’re still in love with Durango.”
“I was never in love with him,” Abby denied, but her heart skipped a beat at her denunciation. “It was all teenage angst and hormones.”
“Okay, then you’re hot for him because he’s the one you let get away.”
“I’m not hot for him, dammit. It’s just a stupid fantasy.”
“Ooh, watch out,” Tess teased. “Or you’ll start sneezing again. Sure you don’t want a shot of tequila?”
“Liquor is not the answer.”
“Then what is?”
Abby doubled her arms across her chest. “I don’t know.”
“I do.”
She shot Tess a sideways glance. “Well?”
“You gotta get it out of your system.”
“Get what out of my system?”
“Durango.”
Abby snorted. “Please.”
“I’m serious. When he left town, you were left wondering what it would have been like if you two had hooked up. And you’re probably still feeling guilty for hurting him the way you did, even though we both know you had no real choice.”
“I couldn’t have gone with him, Tess. I was only seventeen and my father was livid.”
“I agree completely, but you’ve apparently spent the last ten years spinning this mental fantasy about him that no guy would be able to live up to, especially someone as dull as Ken. Ideally, the best way to exorcise the Durango demon would be to find the delectable Mr. Creed and screw his brains out.”
“He’s probably happily married with a backyard full of cute kids who possess those same mesmerizing dark eyes.”
“No he’s not.”
Abby