Gotta Have It. Lori Wilde
tag along. But sooner or later, no matter how hard you try to sublimate it, that passion of yours is going to come bursting out. Just like it did with me.”
“Not if I refuse to give in to it.”
“It’s bigger than your will, darling. God knows I tried to be a good wife to Wayne and a good mother to you. I tried to live the suburban lifestyle, but it just wasn’t possible. I felt suffocated, smothered, invisible. I had to be me and I won’t apologize for that.”
“You don’t have to justify yourself.”
“I’m not justifying myself. Don’t you get it? I’m trying to warn you.”
“Warn me?”
“Once you open that Pandora’s box, Abby, once your true passion is released, watch out. There’s no going back.”
“So what you’re saying is that I’m correct in suppressing my impulsive, irrational desires in favor of calm, cool, calculated objectivity.”
“No, what I’m saying is that sooner or later you’re going to have to face up to who you really are. And when you do, you’ll stop having ‘allergies.’ Sooner or later something has to give. You can’t keep trying to be this perfect person just to please your father.”
“You’re so off base it’s laughable.”
“Am I?”
“Yes.”
“Then prove it,” her mother challenged.
“Prove it?” Abby blinked. What was Cassandra talking about?
“Let yourself go. Do something wild and crazy and uninhibited.”
“Wild and crazy and uninhibited,” Abby echoed.
“Yes. Clear it up in your mind. Establish once and for all that you’re not like me,” Cassandra continued. “Go on a trip where you don’t know anyone and make a complete fool of yourself. Pick up a stranger. Have great sex. Emulate Tess.”
“There’s no need for that.”
“Really? Are you trying to tell me you’re not plagued by secret fantasies of breaking loose, breaking out, breaking away?”
Abby swallowed but did not answer.
“Give it a shot. If I’m wrong and you’re not this passionate naughty girl trapped in a good girl’s body, then nothing bad will happen. You’ll come home with some nice memories, you’ll resume your safe, stable life and you can rest peaceful in the knowledge that passion will never induce you to run out on your husband and kid.”
“I’ll keep that in mind. Thanks for your input.” She sat on her hands because she didn’t want Cassandra to see they were trembling. “Your motherly advice is incredibly valuable at this stage of my life.”
“Why, Abby, are you being sarcastic?” Her mother looked amused.
“Sorry, I’ve had a bad day.”
“Don’t back off now. Stand up for yourself. Let me have it. Show some passion.”
But Abby wasn’t about to give her mother the satisfaction of losing her composure. “Have a safe trip home.”
“I’m being dismissed?” Her mother’s grin widened, and she got to her feet and retrieved her empty champagne glass.
“I love you, Mom,” Abby said. “But we’ll never see eye to eye on this issue.”
“Oh you dear, sweet, innocent girl.” Cassandra dropped a dry kiss on her cheek, then turned and sashayed away, leaving the scent of honeysuckle and cloves lingering on Abby’s skin.
Two minutes after her mother had returned to the rectory, Tess came bouncing back outside, beaming like a flood lamp and waving a piece of paper in her hand. “I found us the perfect getaway spot.”
With a sinking sensation, Abby wondered if they would be shooting craps in Vegas or getting smashed on hurricanes in the French Quarter or mamboing with Latin lovers in Miami.
Could she do this? Should she do this? Would she do this?
Abby sneezed delicately into her lace hanky, and the parting words that Ken had spoken when he’d called to tell her he wasn’t showing up for the wedding echoed in her ears.
“You’re just not fiery enough, Abby. Look at you. If you were emotionally committed to me, you’d be jealous of Racine and scratching my eyes out for treating you this way. Instead you’re telling me it’s okay. That’s what’s wrong with us. Why I can’t marry you. No fire.”
And then she heard Tess say, “The best way to exorcise the Durango demon would be to find the delectable Mr. Creed and screw his brains out.”
And lastly came her mother’s dangerous challenge. “Let yourself go. Do something wild and crazy. Prove once and for all you’re not like me.”
Part of her wanted to accept the dare. Take a risk. Vanquish her fantasies.
But part of her was terrified. What if her mother was right? What if they were alike?
“Earth to Abby.” Tess snapped her fingers in front of Abby’s face.
“Huh?”
“Don’t you want to know where we’re going?”
Abby closed her eyes and braced herself for the worst. “Lay it on me.”
“A week of total pampering at the Tranquility Spa in Sedona.”
Abby opened one eye and peeked at her friend. “Sedona? Really?”
“Uh-huh.”
“You’re not kidding me? Serene, slow-paced Sedona? With the soothing red rock mesas and inspirational vortices?”
“I figured peace and quiet was really what you were looking for.”
Love for her friend overwhelmed her. This was exactly the kind of regenerative trip she needed. She didn’t require endless thrills or excitement. She didn’t have to act wild and reckless in order to prove herself. All she needed was a calm place where she could relax and get some perspective on her life.
She jumped off the swing and enveloped Tess in a big hug. “Thank you. Thank you so much.”
“Hey,” Tess said, “what are friends for?”
“But what about you? You wanted fun and excitement and to get laid.”
“Well.” Tess grinned. “My fantasy lover, Colin Cruz, happens to be making a movie in Sedona. I was hoping we could watch them film. Plus, you know what I heard?” She lowered her voice.
“What?”
“The electromagnetic energy in Sedona intensifies orgasmic pleasure.”
“You’re kidding.”
“Apparently, there’s no sex like vortex sex.”
2
“GOOD MORNING, HANDSOME,” the low, husky voice of Sunrise Jeep Tours dispatcher Connie Vargas oozed from the two-way radio on the dashboard.
“Morning, Connie.” Durango Creed grinned. Connie was sixty-five if she was a day, but she flirted like she was sixteen. He admired the woman’s spirit. She didn’t let her age slow her down. “Did you sleep well?”
“Not too well, cowboy.” Mischief sparkled in her tone. “You weren’t in my bed.”
“Connie, believe me, I wouldn’t be able to keep up with you.”
She chuckled. “Yeah, right. I’ve heard the rumors about you.”
“Lies, all lies.”
Connie snorted indelicately. “What