Modern Romance January Books 5-8. Heidi Rice
He loathed thinking about it and he certainly never shared it. Certainly not with a one-night stand. Which was all this was. But she’d been honest with him and somehow that stuff had just spilled out and the weird thing was he didn’t regret it. But he couldn’t tell her more—not about his mother.
‘I’m sorry.’
‘Yeah, well.’ He reached past her to turn off the shower. ‘It wasn’t like you had it that much better.’ He still couldn’t get over the childhood she’d had. ‘How can you still believe that a relationship could ever last?’
‘How can you choose to live a life that’s so hopeless?’
‘Hopeless?’ He laughed and draped a towel around her shoulders. ‘Because I don’t want marriage and two kids?’
‘It should be at least four kids,’ she told him with a cheeky smile.
‘Four?’ He shuddered and pulled her into the bedroom. ‘And that’s how people get trapped. They hurt each other because they settle, they stay together too long.’
‘That’s not why they hurt each other,’ she argued. ‘People grow and change and sometimes they don’t grow together. Sometimes they’re scared. Sometimes they’re mean. Sometimes they’re mean because they’re scared.’ She shrugged and inadvertently almost lost the towel. ‘I sure don’t have all the answers, but loss is a part of life,’ she said. ‘It doesn’t mean we give up trying for anything meaningful.’
‘No, we don’t give up trying for anything enjoyable. You plan for the end at the beginning.’ He walked forward, backing her up to his bed.
‘Your short time frames.’
‘I’ve found it’s more fun that way—short and sweet. Then there’s no confusion.’ He gave her a nudge so she fell onto his bed.
Like this, one night. Because never again would he have what was his stolen from him. Never again would he be vulnerable and at the mercy of other people’s whims. He called the shots. He remained in control. And he’d remain in control now.
To his delight, she didn’t just sit on the bed, she lay right back.
‘Do you have a contract and everything before you sleep with a woman?’ She all but batted her lashes at him.
He laughed, enjoying her teasing and her honesty. ‘I don’t need to. A conversation is usually sufficient.’
‘Is it?’ she asked. ‘And there are no disappointed, hurt lovers in your past?’
He looked at her, his amusement easing. ‘It’s not my fault if a woman changes her expectations halfway through. I’m always upfront about what I’m offering.’
‘And what you want never changes?’
He shook his head and knelt on the bed. ‘I’m very certain about what I want from life.’
‘How wonderful for you.’ She cupped his jaw. ‘I think you’re missing out.’
‘Says the inexperienced romantic in the room.’ He leaned down and kissed her. ‘Don’t think you can change me, Gracie. That’s how some of those women in my past might have been hurt.’
‘You’re immutable. Got it.’ She tilted her chin at him. ‘But don’t you think you can change me either. I don’t need toughening up.’ She pressed her fingertip to his chest. ‘I’m more resilient than you.’
‘How do you figure that?’
‘At least I’m not afraid to take a chance on someone. I’m not afraid to put my heart out there.’
He leaned forward, letting her nail press harder into his skin. ‘And here’s where you discover my secret, Gracie. I don’t have a heart.’ He refused to feel anything there.
‘Of course you do,’ she scoffed, gently splaying her soft hand right across his ribs, feeling for herself. ‘If you didn’t have a heart, you wouldn’t be alive. You can’t hide from being human, you can’t always stay safe.’
‘I know how to stay safe.’ He distracted her with a nip to her neck.
‘By keeping yourself busy buying new things? More properties to rattle about in?’
‘By keeping myself busy with all the things I enjoy. Including this.’
‘Well, maybe you should stop talking and get busy again. If you’re granting me only a short amount of your amazing company, let’s not waste another second.’ She whipped the towel off him.
He glowered at her as she laughed up at him. ‘You’re a brat.’
She only laughed again. ‘Oh, no, you’re the brat. But fortunately for you, you’re good at this sex thing. And I want more of it. Now, please.’
It was the ‘please’ that got him—a little breathless, a hint of shyness beneath that unloaded, simple request. She got what this was and what it wasn’t.
He couldn’t get close enough, fast enough, couldn’t extract enough of those sighs from her. He’d torment her with unbearable pleasure. He was energised to make it even better, wanting to prove to her just how damn good this could be. He’d forget about his own pleasure entirely. Yet it happened anyway—he was the hottest he’d ever been for a woman. And somehow he lost control of the situation all over again. In the friction between them, he burned too hot, too quick, just as she did all over again.
All his intentions blurred as his brain scattered. There was only movement, only feeling, only blistering need. Until he felt her trembling and heard her scream as she shuddered in his arms. He clutched her closer and roared in primal satisfaction, his body utterly spent, before the world around him went black.
Rafe woke slowly, blinking a few times as he registered the pleasant discomfort of his muscles—yet already desire was priming them again, loosening and tightening simultaneously, prepping for a session of slow wake-up sex. He sensed the hour was early—perfect for one last taste before she left. Except it would be unwise. It would be simpler, safer for her to leave without another round, given her inexperience. Yeah, the sooner she left, the better.
His body thought otherwise. With a low, lazy groan he rolled to face her, only to discover she wasn’t beside him. He reached over to feel the cool sheet. As he was about to call out, she walked into the room, completely dressed. He stared uncomprehendingly. She’d showered and he hadn’t woken?
‘Why are you up?’ Disappointment washed over him.
‘I’m late for work.’ She bit her lip but her smile was still radiant. ‘I should have left half an hour ago but I’m hoping Francesca won’t mind because I came up with the most amazing idea for a new filling overnight.’
He stared at her. She’d been thinking overnight? When had she had the time to think?
‘So I’ve got to dash but I’m glad you woke up. I didn’t want to hunt for paper to leave you a note.’
She’d been going to leave without saying goodbye? She didn’t want to stay in bed with him? She wasn’t bothered that the night was over?
‘That was really, really good. Honestly,’ she added in her nonstop way. ‘Thank you so much. It was a once-in-a-lifetime amazing experience.’
Her compliment didn’t give him the satisfied feeling she doubtless meant it to. Instead, he felt like some stud who’d just got full marks for best in show.
‘You’re leaving right now?’ he growled as she stayed out of kissing reach.
‘Yes. There’s so much to do at work. I can’t let Francesca down.’
Of course she couldn’t. ‘And you’re okay? No regrets?’
‘Oh, no, it was amazing.’ She fanned her face and smiled that shy