The Cowboy's Baby Blessing. Deb Kastner
He cracked his eyes open to watch Rachel pray and noticed he wasn’t the only one feeling uncomfortable. Zooey’s eyes were also open, her gaze on her folded hands. Or rather, she was frowning at her clenched hands. He was surprised she didn’t seem tapped into faith. He certainly had been at her age, with his family’s example all around him, and from the way that Rachel prayed, it was clear that faith was important to her and played a big role in her home.
Rachel’s grace wasn’t dry or bottled, but rather she spoke from her heart, which Seth admired and, if he was being honest, envied. He missed the innocence of his youth, of a faith that transcended the trials of daily life, but he’d seen far too much of the world not to question what he believed.
Still, he echoed her amen.
Zooey scooped a forkful of macaroni salad into her mouth and chewed slowly. A group of young men Seth guessed to be around Zooey’s age walked by, jostling and shoving and trying to talk over each other. Zooey didn’t turn her head, but her gaze trailed after the guys.
Rachel must have seen that, as well.
“It’s a good thing they didn’t allow the teenage guys to participate in the auction,” she said after swallowing her bite of baked beans.
The boys had moved out of hearing distance, but that didn’t stop the blush that rose to the teenager’s cheeks.
“Mom,” she whispered harshly. “That is so uncool. They could have heard you.”
A little adolescent and overdramatic for Seth’s taste, but it was an amusing scene, at least until Zooey tossed down her plate and popped to her feet.
“I am so out of here.”
“Sit down and finish eating.” Rachel’s voice was low and even, but Seth could hear the barely contained tension coating her voice. Her daughter seemed all too willing to ignore it.
“Zooey,” Rachel called after her, but the teenager loped away as if she hadn’t heard, joining a group of friends on the other side of the green.
Rachel sighed and rested her forehead against her palm. “I’m getting a migraine. Sometimes I really don’t know what to do with that girl.”
Seth chuckled. “She’s a teenager. Most of the time, rebellion is written in their DNA. Are you going to tell me you didn’t get into a few scrapes and give your mom a hassle when you were sixteen?”
She scoffed. “I had a newborn baby when I was sixteen. My mother didn’t care for the idea of becoming a grandmother at such a young age and she threw me out of the house.”
Seth’s gut tightened. “Are you serious?”
“Unfortunately, yes. My mom and dad are fairly well-to-do and their unmarried teenage daughter becoming pregnant didn’t go down well in their social circles. It was better if I just disappeared before anyone found out. I would have been interested to hear their explanation for why I dropped out of school and off the map, but I never got a chance to hear it. I haven’t seen them since that day, nor do I want to. I’ve forgiven them for what they did to me and Zooey, but they’re not part of our lives.”
“They sent you away?” Seth almost couldn’t believe what he was hearing. What kind of parents did that to their child? He had made more than his share of mistakes in his life, but he knew beyond a doubt that his mom and dad would never turn their backs on him, no matter what he did. It was almost inconceivable to even think about. “What did you do?”
“Given that I had no money and nowhere to turn, I am one of the blessed ones. I didn’t end up on the street. Instead, I was taken in by a church-run home for teenage mothers. They taught me how to care for my daughter and helped me finish high school and get on my feet. They gave me real-world skills I could use to provide for Zooey and myself. When I was eighteen, I moved to Serendipity, set up shop as an in-home day-care provider, and the rest, as they say, is history.”
“Wow. That must have been tough, especially at such a young age. I admire and applaud you for your courage.”
Rachel shook her head. “It wasn’t courage. I was scared to death. But I had a lot of support. And though Zooey wasn’t conceived in an ideal situation, I loved her from the first moment I discovered I was carrying her in my womb. I did what I had to.”
“My buddy Luke used to tell me that courage wasn’t the lack of fear. It was being afraid and going forward anyway. That’s what you did. I call it courage.”
Rachel nibbled at her chicken, chewing thoughtfully, her gaze distant. Then, with effort, she seemed to set her emotions aside.
“But enough about me. Tell me about you. Did you join the army right out of high school? Thank you for your service, by the way.”
He gave her a clipped nod. He didn’t really want to talk about his time in the military, and though appreciative of their acknowledgment, he never knew what to say when people thanked him for serving.
“Like many little boys, I dreamed about becoming a soldier when I grew up,” he said. “But I followed through with it and, along with my best friend, Luke Hollister, enlisted before I even finished high school. We were off to boot camp right after we graduated. At the time, I intended to make the army my career. Twenty years and a decent pension sounded good to me. And I really loved serving in the army.”
“What happened?” she asked softly.
Seth blew out a breath. “Luke was killed in a firefight. I was right there next to him and—” He swallowed hard to dislodge the memory. “And then a sniper got him. The bullet whizzed right by my ear and hit Luke.”
He frowned. It was hard to get the words out.
“That day haunts me. I’ll never understand why God let things go down the way they did. I’m a bachelor and yet I was the one who dodged the bullet. Luke left behind his pregnant wife, Tracy, and their ranch land, which has been in the Hollister family for generations.”
“It must have been very rough for her,” Rachel said. “I remember the prayers that were said for her in church. Such a sad situation. I know what it’s like to be pregnant and on your own, but I can’t even imagine dealing with the grief she must have felt, on top of having to run the ranch by herself.”
Seth nodded his agreement. “Thankfully, Tracy was born and raised on a ranch, so she gradually adapted to becoming the sole owner. I admire her courage so much. She’s one of the strongest women I know.”
“At least she had her child to look forward to. She had a boy, right?”
“That’s right. Little Caden is almost three years old now. I promised Luke I’d watch over Caden and Tracy if anything ever happened to him, which is a big part of the reason I came back to Serendipity before heading off to college. I wanted to check in on them and make sure everything was as okay as Tracy tried to make it sound whenever I spoke to her on the phone. I needed to see her with my own eyes.”
“And how is she doing?”
“She appears to be making a success of it, although honestly, I can’t even imagine how she does it. She told me straight to my face that she was fine and she didn’t need my help, that I should worry about getting my own life in order. I realized then that I didn’t want my life to go the same way as Luke’s. I didn’t re-up in the army, because my heart wasn’t in it anymore. I knew I had to do something different.”
“I imagine so,” Rachel said, sympathy evident in the tone of her voice.
“The truth is, I just want to get away from responsibility for a while. I want to be me—to find out who I am outside of the military. I’ve always had someone else in charge of where I go and what I do in my life. I didn’t even take the summer off after high school. Straight from my parents’ house into the army, where I was under orders for everything, even eating and sleeping. Right now all I have on my mind is doing my own thing for a change. Make my own decisions without regard to anyone but