Enneagram For Dummies. Jeanette van Stijn
from others to come to herself, find her own point of view, and arrive at what she wants from life.
Numbers, archetypes, names
Keep in mind that the nine personality structures were originally designated with numbers. To make the types easier to recognize, later authors added archetypal interpretations to the numbers, such as the Provider and the Observer. This was intended to make it easier for people to get started with the Enneagram.
In this book, I'm designating these types a bit differently. I've just introduced nine people to you: Mary (Type 1), Roy (Type 2), Tina (Type 3), Tim (Type 4), Alice (Type 5), Ian (Type 6), Louise (Type 7), Stan (Type 8) and Margaret (Type 9). You'll get to know them even better in this book — they play the lead roles here. When I explain the theory, I write Type 1; when I provide an example, I write the nickname, such as Mary. This makes it all a little more personal.
Only the Sun Rises for Free
When you travel, you choose a means of transportation that fits you and your travel plans. If your destination is a sunny island, you take a plane; when you travel to a beach, you probably take a train or car. In my opinion, people who embark on the great adventure of personal or professional development face a similar choice. For this, you also need a means of transportation that you hope will fit you and your journey perfectly. But it’s often not that easy to find. Information about biking or riding a train or a plane is generally accessible and the choice is usually easy. When it comes to a means of transportation that helps you with your personal development, however, this often turns into its own journey of discovery. The information isn’t as open or clearly available. I see people on this journey of discovery who rush from seminar to workshop, from one method to another, to find a means of transportation that is most suitable for them. I hope that the Enneagram and this book take you to the destination you’re aiming for.
From my own experience with others, I know that people like to take the path of least resistance and they prefer to find a quick solution — one that delivers fast and impressive results with little effort. But just like with diets, this is an illusion. Many diets and methods provide a fast, short-term result with low exertion, but this success rarely lasts long. Similar to miracle diets, people try out numerous workshops that often (but definitely not always!) promise effortless, fast results. Deep down, you may also be looking for a magic bullet. And so I want to be honest from the start: If you want to benefit from the true potential of the Enneagram, you won’t reach your goal the day after tomorrow.
Working with the Enneagram requires dedication, effort, and perseverance before it gives you what you’re looking for. That’s why I like the term internal work, because it doesn’t raise false expectations. But I can say sincerely that your efforts will be rewarded. Many people who took this path before you found out that it may not be the path of least resistance, though it is a lasting investment that has yielded a great return to many people — maybe a happy (or happier) relationship, to name just one example. If that’s not worth an investment, I'm not sure what is.
Tips for Optimal Learning
What is the optimal way to learn? In this section, you can find tips that will help you in your studies of the Enneagram and assist you in adopting its method:
Be curious: Children have an enormous learning capacity. They learn by playing, due to their childish curiosity. From an early age, they inspect everything in the big, strange world in which they've landed. If you discover this childish curiosity in yourself (again), you will learn optimally.
Have an open, receptive mind: The more baggage you carry around — for example, from studies and experience — the more difficult it can be to maintain an open and receptive mind. Because I am so strongly specialized in the Enneagram, I notice how difficult it is for me to learn new methods. I would rarely succeed in this effort without consciously making myself open and receptive toward it. When you open up to your learning process, you become receptive to new kinds of considerations. Try something new before you instantly reject it — you can always still do that later. When you deal with the learning processes of other people, an open-minded attitude is also necessary to support others with their studies. An open, nonjudgmental attitude is one where you truly listen and let what another person is thinking or writing affect you.
Keep an open, receptive heart: When it comes to human behavior, learning involves not just the mind but also the heart. Nothing can grow without love, which is certainly true for you as well. You can absorb a lot of knowledge, but if you don’t (learn to) look at yourself with leniency, forgiveness, and love, you will hold yourself back. When you deal with the learning processes of other people, this attitude is also necessary to support the others in their studies. An open heart, one filled with empathy, is necessary for you to sympathize with others, understand them, and honestly deal with their existence as human beings and their problems.
Make an effort and apply yourself: Nothing ever happens on its own. Get to work with this book, complete the exercises, and focus on the text every day. You'll soon notice a result — even if the result is the simple joy of engaging with this topic.
Mental Fitness
Did this section heading make you sigh in frustration? That’s how I always feel when I hear the word fitness. I know that it’s good for me to work out or exercise in some way. Afterward, I always feel better and more energetic. You can look at the idea of internal work in the same way: You're seeking fitness not for the body but rather for the mind and heart — mental fitness, in other words.
It goes without saying that people have to exercise and train for their physical well-being; it’s no different when it comes to their mental well-being, and this won’t happen on its own, either. Get up and join in! As with physical activity, getting started can be tough, but once you get a taste of it, you won’t want to stop.
Chapter 3
All Good Things Come in Threes
IN THIS CHAPTER
Nine is the same as three times three,