Wicked Enchantment. Wanda Coleman
and a paint job. luckily this year i was able to pay registration
i dream that my car is transformed into a stylish
convertible and i’m riding along happily beneath sun glasses
the desert wind kissing my face my man beside me. we smile
we are very beautiful. sometimes the dreams become nightmares
i’m careening into an intersection the kids in the back seat scream
“mama!” i mash down on the brake. the pedal goes to the floor
i have frequent fantasies about running over people i don’t like
with my car
my car’s an absolute necessity in this city of cars where
you come to know people best by how they maneuver on the freeway
make lane changes or handle off-ramps. i’ve promised myself
i will one day own a luxury model. it’ll be something
i can leave my children. till then i’m on spark plugs and lug nuts
keeping the one i have mobile. i live for it. can’t let go of it
to drive is to live
When My Time Comes
i will speak to the night. it will listen
words faint as breath
a door thru which i escape/another world
imagination carries me
i am light, float/smoke/waft
this dance on the killing floor of spirit
light one candle and move on
oboe my mouth turned inward
dream i am possessed by the dream: arrival
the fire
my skin peels off, beneath it soft moist black earth
mother the candle burns slow
communicate? it’s hard to talk
difficult to sculpt
the flame gives off no warmth
the many ways i spell hate on every empty wall
when my time comes
i will speak to the night
it will rise
and follow
Doctor’s Report
patient complains of social dysfunction related to color
| symptoms: | homicidal/suicidal tendencies |
| erratic episodes of deep depression |
chronic intermittent unemployment requiring outside financial
assistance (beg, borrow, steal)
| past history: | patient is a young black female divorcee with |
| two children. she is alert and cooperative |
one moment and sullen and resentful the next. she states that
the complaint which brings her here today is on-going since birth
she also states she has seen other physicians in the past and
although they agree that she “does have something” they were
unable to determine its etiology
| examination: | patient exhibits emotional instability, for |
| example, crying and laughing at the same time |
other mood swing observed encompassed hope to anger; an
insatiable hunger expressed by the patient as a “desire for freedom
and power of self-determination.” this phenomenon has no
apparent physiological source
| recommendation: | institutionalization |
Giving Birth
against bone. rubbing. pressure against bladder
i pee and pee and pee
and drink water and more water. never enough water
it twists in my womb
my belly a big brown bowl of jello quakes
twenty pounds and climbing
eat eat eat. milk. got to have ice cold milk
vitamins and iron three times daily
cocoa butter and hormone cream
infanstethoscope
sex sex sex. can’t get enough of that funky stuff
bras getting too small. is that me in the mirror?
it bucks/brings belches
smooth skin. glossy hair. strong nails
i’m 99% body. my brain has dissolved into
headaches tears confusion
my navel sticks out/eye of cyclops
my life for an apple fritter
snipping the elastic in panties, another pair ruined
nausea. vomit. muscle strain
”they” tell you to eat fresh fruit and lots of
vegetables. eating fresh fruit and lots of vegetables
afraid of what it will/won’t be
anxious. it’s got to look like him
it’s got to look like me. be healthy. be live. be all right
why doesn’t it hurry up and come
read books. more books. know the tv program by heart
fantasies about returning to slim
the ass sleeps. tingles when wakened
walking is hard. sitting is hard. sex, an effort
he stands in lines for me
thirty pounds and climbing
people smile, are sympathetic
will it be capricorn or aquarius?
can’t drive. too big to get behind the steering wheel
ice cream cone jones
(out of three hundred deliveries this year, ours
is his third legitimate, says doc, “it’s what
they are doing to the black community”)
daily reports to the grandmothers
is that me in the mirror?
he worries. i worry. we worry together
more hugs and affection
i can’t reach my feet
more