Bana Fine Irish Pizza. T. STRAHS
of the water seeping in around the hull welds.
Once they tried to go up the broken staircase to see the captain. It was the same broken staircase from years ago. Now the steel railing was gone and a thin rope in its place—not much to grab onto! Halfway up on the stairs, the ship took a nosedive and sent them screaming back to their small room.
The journey back, their first since leaving years ago, was emotionally mixed. Years ago, on the ship The New Sole, they came to the USA to find their fortunes. Guido and Luigi had found success, wives, children, and friends.
The twins, once conjoined, were now dying of a rare disease that affects once conjoined twins born in Italy and believed to be in areas where swine are raised and butchered.
Luigi was a hair taller than Guido. The midwife said since he was born four minutes after Guido, he had more time to “cure” in the womb. Luigi listed to the left and Guido to the right due to their once being conjoined. Both topped off around five feet five inches. Luigi parted his hair on the left and Guido on the right; other than that, no physical differences between the twins. Educationally, yes!
Their journey back, they boarded a small freighter, The New Sole 2, same one that brought them to the US and now owned by the grandson of the original captain.
The New Sole 2 was the same one as the original, supposedly updated, and many of the leaking welds redone.
Although the ship was scheduled for repo and demolition a long time ago, the crew would find ways to avoid any port that may have a spy for the creditors. The ship was a small ocean freighter that could take on a few low-paying passengers and one large room for the upper lower class.
The grandson, Cap3, bought it from the current owners, who planned on scrapping it. He paid 90 percent of the purchase with money he made from selling pig back shoes and hats with pig ears to the tourists coming into the port of Pissaccotta. He paid the last 10 percent from a back street “investor” who only charged 38 percent interest, the only one who would lend him money!
Cap2 (Cap3’s father) was arrested for smuggling, and the ship was confiscated as the original owner never made any payments, nor did Cap1. The smuggling rap was a setup by a competing shipper, also at the port of Pissaccotta. She was jealous of New Sole’s quick turnarounds and profits. Cap2 tried paying off the police, only to find out later that the snitch-competing captain paid more.
Cap2 tried to take the ship quickly out of port when the constables from a nearby “spa” came looking for him for not paying his last four visits with his favorite three hostesses—Trixian, Dixian, and Melvin.
Cap3 found it sitting near the scrapyard, and with a few weaving sailors from the nearby bar, fired up the rusted, soot caked boilers that sent massive amounts of smoke, sparks and interesting particles to mark their exit from the port.
On his next trip to New York proved to be marginally profitable and decided on one more trip.
Barely able to make it back to Italy, he loaded up again with the special cargo for Chinatown and Canal Street in NYC, only to be caught when one of the crew members was too scared to cross the ocean and sabotaged a few of the pressure gauges, making sure that they would never have enough pressure for propulsion, causing the ship to stop and unfortunately wait for the port police to take it, tow it to the scrapyard, and arrest the crew.
While in jail waiting for his freedom, Cap3 knew the judge from the spa. They discussed his “get out of jail’ card that included a 5 percent fee on all cargo sold in the USA.
Cap3 got his “get out of town” directions from his dad—found a trustworthy, although senile, drugged, or drunk was the norm—and following his dad’s directions, off they went. He renamed the ship New Sole 2 to attempt to fool the collectors.
Cap3 painted the ship at night to minimize anyone noticing and to attract more paying passengers and convince shippers that it was a safe ship to continue to transport their special cargoes to Canal Street and Chinatown in New York City. The new paint also keeps the police away as they felt the ship’s new owner was on a new course in legal cargos, as long as he kept the “keep away” payments coming.
While in the New York harbor, Luigi and Guido found out about The New Sole 2 when their general manager, Demetriux, saw it in the Port of New York Harbor when he went to check on their shipment of semifresh ingredients from Pissaccotta, Italy. He had heard the story way too many times about their journey from Italy and recognized the ship.
He called the twins immediately and told them he went to see if they had any relationship to The New Sole, which brought them to the US. He found that it was owned by the grandson of the captain of the original New Sole, Captain Haroold Ricaro.
Demetriux went to the ship’s gangplank and introduced himself as the representative of Bana Fine Irish Pizza and Brew, a chain of profitable restorantes.
Cap3 had heard the story of the two “interesting” twins who spoke an interesting dialect of “Italish.” He also heard of their US successes from some the crew who went to work there cleaning tables before coming back to The New Sole 2. They did this to avoid paying the local landlord, who had zero sense of humor, as well as their spa bills.
Cap3, being a less than astute businessman, actually realized an opportunity for him to make a few dollars. He didn’t have any return cargo and was anxious to leave port to get back to Italy to load up again with profitable goods to be sold on Canal Steet in New York.
He told Demetriux that he would rent his prime big cabin space to Luigi and Guido for a fair price to allow them to go back to the port they left many years then, under the safe navigation and comfort of his grandfather.
Cap3 described the fine ammenities to Demetriux, who had never been on water in his life, much less a small ocean freighter.
“This fine, safe, recently painted ocean-secure freighter has years and years of smooth sailings virtually around the world as I know it.”
Cap3 continued to list the many fine things that the twins would enjoy being back on The New Sole 2. “Upgraded food service—no longer cooked with heat from the boilers by one of the coal shovelers. We now have a chef that was trained at the ‘all u can shovel in’ Chinese buffet and laundry. Next, I had the large room painted, although there are still a few stains on the wall. There are now two deck chairs available—a 100 percent improvement of their original cruise. Replaced the toilet seat in the large room. Remind them no paper in this toilet please. We are proud of our weather reporting from one of my crew that took an online course.”
“Now, Demex, you can’t tell me that this don’t sound like the only way to get back to the old country?”
“Anyone can get on a plane and be tossed around for the whole trip.”
Cap3 went for the “close.” “Okay, Demexy, my boy, let’s give them a call and have them send me the deposit to hold this fine cruise. I leave in twenty-four hours, and I don’t wanna have them miss this cabin as I have others waiting.”
When Guido and Luigi heard from Demetriux about the Lost Sole2, they talked about going back to their roots.
They only left their original restaurant once in all the years being in the Kennington Court area, and that was to a pizza/brewer’s convention in North Carolina. They dreaded anything that had a potential to sway, rock, dip, slide, buck, creak, and leak.
Yet since diagnosed by their Italy-trained medic, they felt that they should go back, and if they don’t survive, then they should be buried back in the family plot at the local church.
The decision was made, and they would book The New Sole 2 in the updated larger cabin and hoped for a smooth journey. It just couldn’t be a rough as the unmemorable trip to the US many years ago, or could it?
Some things just never change; Cap3 looked like his grandfather and father: short legs, long torso that clearly demonstrated that he, like his dad, enjoyed a good meal based on quantity versus quality. Rotund neck with a head that looked like a cauliflower, and eyes that you wanted to put your thumbs on