THE BETTER PART OF VALOR. Morgan Mackinnon
snorted. “She died. Abby Grace Clary died. She left me alone, and I vowed then I would never again look for permanent companionship or love. Never would I marry. I have entertained opportunities to marry for love and for money, and I have eschewed them all. I remain alone.”
“Myles. All this has been your choice. Do you ever believe that choices can be made anew, perhaps more to your satisfaction?”
“Yes. That is why I am depressed.”
“You are depressed because you realize you don’t have to be depressed?”
“Yes. That is what I have been trying to express. Thank you. How can one resolve the one without abandoning one’s honor with the other?”
Cresta put down the notebook. “Myles? I cannot give you an answer to that dilemma. If I could, I would. We go through life, making decisions that sometimes turn out to be right and sometimes, unfortunately, do not turn out well at all. But we must work through those decisions in our minds and in our hearts until we suddenly realize what is right for our own selves. Then honor, valor, obligation will be satisfied with the choice that is right for you. If I may ask you a question, why is this issue coming up right now? Is it Miss Haynes?”
Keogh hadn’t expected that question and turned in shock. “Miss Haynes? That young…daughter of the Captain? Good heavens, no. I am old enough to be her father. Captain Haynes asked me to look out for her at supper that one evening because he was otherwise occupied. I think she…she may have an adolescent attachment for me, but I assure you I have done nothing to encourage the young lady.”
“Sit down, Colonel. Then what? Perhaps it will help.”
Keogh did not sit. He remained standing, gazing moodily out the porthole window. “I am not at liberty to speak about the reasons at present. What is important is that you, as an alienist, agree that choices and decisions once made in the ardor of youth need not constrain us in later life. Choices can be…changed so long as honor and valor are not tarnished. Do I hear you aright?”
She smiled. “Anything can be changed if we yearn for that change in our hearts. Desire for an aspiration is a powerful and potent motivation. You don’t need to destroy your honor in the process.”
He nodded, and she saw his shoulders relax, as though he’d been waiting for that advice.
“Cresta? May I apologize for my prior lecture? Will you meet me for supper? I promise if anyone accuses us of sleeping together, we will handle it together.”
She laughed and nodded in acceptance.
Chapter 7
That evening, they were seated in the informal supper room since this was their favorite haunt. Lighthearted, both were relieved their temporary difficulties had been resolved and were animated and talkative. Cresta mostly wanted to know about his family in Carlow and what they would be doing during his leave.
Orchard House was a rustic manor house with several outbuildings and lots of room for children, dogs, cats, horses and family. Their family was fairly well-off, his father a gentleman farmer; his mother had been of a genteel upper-class family from Clifden. Regardless of genteel and upper class, Mrs. Keogh managed to give birth to thirteen children, eight of whom survived to adulthood. Cresta quickly lost track of names, but all were good Irish names: James, Patrick, Thomas, John, Myles, Julia, Mary, Joanna, Bridget, Ellen, Margaret, Fanny, and Catherine. Myles was an unusual name and one Cresta liked very much. These days, when Myles came home to visit, he stayed with his closest brother, Tom, and his wife, Alice, and normally, his unmarried sisters, Ellen, Mary, Fanny, and Margaret, who liked to be called Mag.
Myles told Cresta his well-to-do aunt, Miss Mary Blanchfield, left him the estate of Clifden in her will but he’d gone to Ireland the previous year long enough to transfer the property to Margaret. No, he didn’t know why except he didn’t feel he was ready to live the life of an Irish landowner just yet. Something was still missing in his life.
What did they do when he visited? Why, go fishing, riding, walking. Special times were evenings when the fire was built up in the “old house” and they would sit around while Myles told of his adventures. Inevitably, Mag would have some picnics and dinners, inviting his brothers or sisters who had families, and sometimes, Mag would ask some friends from town to attend. There was a nearby town called Bagenalstown where a younger Myles Keogh played loose and free with a number of the local colleen’s hearts. Girls like Fiona and Callie and Meggie were mentioned, and Cresta got the impression these young ladies perhaps still had aspirations of keeping their “wild goose” in Ireland.
The day before embarkation at Cherbourg was a busy one for passengers who had trunks to pack, goodbyes to say, and addresses to exchange with new friends. but it was leisurely for those going on to Dublin because it would give them a few more days together.
Cresta had seen nothing of young Miss Haynes, the ship Captain’s daughter, but Myles said he had been running into her here and there and disclosed her name was Esme, which was short for Esmeralda. Apparently, she had invited the dashing Irishman (amidst giggles) to join her for lunch in the informal restaurant on two separate occasions, but he gallantly bowed and replied it was regrettable but he was otherwise engaged. The Captain told Cresta it was somewhat surprising the second time, because the young lady frowned and stamped her foot.
The “young lady” may have only been sixteen years of age, but Cresta had a hunch about her “maturity” and asked Myles to be on his guard. When he asked why, she just said it was alienist intuition.
*****
Her intuition materialized the next morning. Cresta rounded a corner leading from the upper promenade to an interior passageway when she spotted Myles ahead of her and beyond him, Miss Haynes who, at that very moment, tripped and fell. Of course, the chivalrous Lieutenant Colonel hurried over as the girl gripped her foot in pain. She simpered, smiled, and said she had sprained her ankle and would never be able to make it to her cabin. Would he be so kind as to…and that is when Cresta swept forward.
“There you are, Myles! My goodness, Miss Haynes! What has happened? You have sprained your ankle? Here, let me take a look. I am a doctor. Let me see. That doesn’t look too bad. I think perhaps a cold compress and a bit of rest. Myles? Would you please pick Miss Haynes up? Splendid. Now then, I believe you are occupying a room next to your father’s suite? This way then!”
Cresta and Miss Haynes kept up their role-playing game until Cresta had seen the girl to her cabin and, more importantly, seen Keogh OUT of the girl’s cabin. He was confused, so Cresta explained to him how, if he had been alone with the girl, the girl could have initiated some impropriety or, more likely, complained to her father Myles had made an indelicate advance or worse, which if prosecuted might have ruined his career.
Shaken, he sat down in the upper deck bar and ordered a whiskey.
“Why would such a sweet young girl do something like that to me? She barely knows me.”
For such a romantic, Keogh seemed quite innocent at times, so Cresta explained it to him. They both loved poetry and literature so she reminded him of a line from William Congreve. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Miss Haynes might be young, but he’d spurned her. That was what Cresta suspected might happen when she heard about the foot stamping.
She looked at Myles and winked. “I will predict Miss Haynes exhibits no limp tonight at supper.”
The next two days were taken up with packing and preparing to leave the ship in Dublin. It would be a late arrival, so Myles said he would be taking a room at the Castle Hotel on Great Denmark Street. He suggested if she had no rooms booked, perhaps she could stay at the hotel as well, and they could have a farewell dinner. Cresta agreed that would be fun and then they could say their goodbyes.
The Castle Hotel was quite nice and did have an available room for the American woman, so she booked for a couple of days and said once she’d located her relative, she might be offered accommodations there. She smiled at Myles, saying she would meet him in the restaurant after she freshened up and changed.