THE BETTER PART OF VALOR. Morgan Mackinnon
de visites he’d sent to them were carefully and proudly displayed on the sitting room mantle. He made his adventures sound exotic and exciting—Cresta would listen to him regaling his family with these tales and wonder again why in the world he would prefer the dust and extreme weather in the American plains for a life of ease in Ireland. That was what she was trying to understand. Why was the call to arms so strong for someone such as he?
When Myles talked of how he’d gone alone under flag of truce to retrieve the body of slain Major General Philip Kearney after the Battle of Chantilly during the Second Manassas campaign and escorted the body to Union lines, Tom and Annie glowed. Mag would clap her hands together and fuss over her brother, bringing him whiskey and titbits. And they could not hear enough of the time their brother was selected as one of six special officers to escort none other than President Abraham Lincoln himself from Washington, DC, to Harpers Ferry and back.
Then Myles would try to turn the conversation back to life in Ireland, but it wouldn’t be long until the family urged him (with little difficulty) back to his tales of adventure and daring.
Cresta did discover the life Myles had chosen was one he threw himself into with everything he had. Despite his misgivings about some of the decisions he had made, there didn’t seem to be much of that insecurity on display when he was spinning his tales. Perhaps it was only during long, lonely nights in a bedroll such uncertainties became apparent. It would seem his nature was to enjoy his time around the hearth fire before succumbing in the end to the call of the battlefield. She understood enough of human nature to know that was one siren probably no woman was going to be able to overcome.
That night, Cresta lay in her bed and could not sleep. It was difficult to not let herself get caught up in the routines of life in the country. It seemed so perfect, and she really did feel as though she could stay in a situation like this forever. Rain began to fall about an hour previously…not a hard-falling rain but a persistent one. She had no idea what time it was but thought perhaps a glass of milk would help her sleep. Peering out into the hallway, it seemed everyone else was asleep, so rather than put on a daytime costume, Cresta slipped her wrapper on over her long cotton nightgown, belted it, and crept downstairs. Surprisingly, the fire had not died out yet in the “flop” room, so she decided to spend just a few minutes on the sofa, staring into the embers.
Soon, a soft voice asked, “Are you a wee mousie, or can you not sleep?”
She jumped. “Oh, Myles. I’m sorry, did I wake you? I could not sleep and thought perhaps a glass of milk might help. But the embers in the fireplace seemed so welcoming I’m afraid I got distracted.”
He was sitting in a wing chair facing the fire, so she hadn’t seen him when she came in. Now he rose, and she saw he was clad in a dressing gown and bedroom slippers. Quietly and efficiently, he added some wood to the embers and stirred until the flames caught and flickering fire warmed the room. Not speaking, he then left for several minutes, eventually coming back with a tray.
“Milk, eh? I have something that is much better for inducing sleep. Aside from my stories, that is!”
“Don’t be silly. Your family clearly loves your stories. They are so proud of you.”
“I know. At least they suffer me. Here. This is what I call Keogh Coffee. It is normal, strong coffee with a drop of whiskey and hot cream on top.”
Cresta took a sip. “Good. Very good.”
He put the tray on the table in front of the sofa and joined her.
“Cresta? I just realized something. This is the first time you and I have been alone together dressed in our night things. And instead of pretending we are affronted, embarrassed, or offended, we know each other well enough to just sit and be comfortable with one another. I would say that is a big step forward.”
“Is it? I suppose it is. So a step forward, eh? It may also be a signal we are so comfortable with each other we have stopped trying. Or perhaps we are now entering the realm of brother and sister.”
Myles made Cresta a second Keogh Coffee. Now that she could watch him with his concoction, she duly noted the “drop” of whiskey he referred to was actually a healthy slosh. She took it, though, because this was an interesting train of thought.
“Brother and sister? Ah, no. If you were Mag, for instance, I would have immediately offered to go upstairs and change into day wear.”
“I think I should find that offensive. I do not even rate as a sister?”
“No. You are my close friend. Back in the United States, I have many male friends with whom I am close. For instance, I lived very comfortably with my best friend, Henry Nowlan…before he fell in love, that is. Then he spent all his time away from home with his fiancée. But Henry and I are the same gender, so it did not bother us to be indecent in front of one another. With you, it is very strange.” Myles paused, seeming to sense he was treading on wet, slippery rocks. “I mean, even though you are a woman who is not my sister, you are also like Henry was to me.”
Damn. He knew he had botched that explanation. Cresta did not seem to take offense and tried to rephrase for him. “You feel you relate to me as you do to your male friends rather than finding me attractive as a woman. I understand completely.”
“No! That is not what I meant. Not at all because you are attractive to me…as a woman, that is. I mean I do not feel as I have to treat you as a timid little…I am not helping myself, am I?”
She burst out laughing. “No, you are definitely not helping one bit. Let us just leave it that we are so comfortable with each other we can let our hair down, be ourselves, honestly talk without artifice and yet not forget while doing so that you are a man and I am a woman.”
“Why couldn’t I say that?”
“Perhaps you need another coffee. One more and by then the rain will have stopped and we can say our good-nights.”
When dawn came, it had not stopped raining. Mag knew Tom would soon be going out to the barns to see to the cows and horses, so it was time to make sure Fiona was up and beginning the breakfast rolls. She skipped down the steps because it was always such a happy time when Myles was home. She wished he could be here always. And this time, he had brought a lady-friend with him for the first time. She abruptly skidded to a halt, staring. When her brother, Tom, came down behind her, she turned, put her finger to her lips and shushed him with frantic motions of her left hand. Then she pointed to the flop room.
The fire was out, there was a cluttered serving tray in front of the sofa, and on the sofa was their brother and his lady friend, both dressed in night wear, leaning on each other and sound asleep.
When Myles came down for breakfast two hours later, he found Tom, Alice, and Mag seated at the table chatting and drinking mugs of coffee. Cresta was not down yet, and that gave him time to make a speech.
“I have something to say. I suspect at least one of you saw Cresta and I in the flop room asleep when you came down this morning. If you did not, I will confess anyway. She and I could not sleep. No, I mean…I mean I could not sleep, came down, and sat in the old wing chair. Then Cresta came down because she could not sleep and was going to get a glass of milk. We did not intend to encounter one another. I made us some Keogh Coffee, we talked, and I believe we had rather more coffee than intended. With the rain falling and the warmth in the sitting room, we just…we fell asleep. There was no impropriety whatsoever. Cresta is an honorable widow, and I would never impugn her reputation. It’s just that she is…she is my friend. We relate not as brother and sister but friends who are still a man and a woman.” Then Myles shook his head slightly as if perhaps that didn’t make sense either but was the best he could do.
All of them assured him they thought nothing perverse about it. When Myles went to the kitchen for his coffee, Tom looked at Alice.
“Does sitting up all night asleep count as sleeping together?”
Chapter 11
The weather was delightful in Ireland the first part of May