Rebellious Parenting. Richard Blackaby

      Preface

      What does a rebel look like? An assortment of troubling images comes to mind.

      Perhaps the most stereotypical protesters of the last century were the hippies from the 60s and 70s, with their long, grimy hair and fluorescent, tie-dyed clothing. They shunned materialism, proper hygiene, the “establishment,” and the Vietnam War in favor of love, peace, and an ample supply of marijuana. Rebels of later years included punk rockers with their studded belts, pink Mohawks, and Chuck Taylor high-top shoes. They used distorted electric guitars and shouted vocals in adrenaline-fueled rants against authority figures, such as their washed-up fathers or the president of the United States.

      Though their appearance, music, or causes may differ through the years, all rebels have one thing in common: They make a deliberate choice to defy socially accepted norms. We often assume we can identify rebels by their loud music or bizarre hairstyles. But a counterculture, by definition, is any movement that rejects the prevailing values, methods, or practices of society.

      This book is our expression of rebellion against the “conventional wisdom” of today’s parenting culture. We don’t intend to write poetry or launch new fashion trends. We won’t advocate a strike or pitch a tent in front of City Hall, but we will encourage you to rebel.

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      This book is unique for the Blackaby family of authors. While it is not the first father/daughter book to be written (Henry Blackaby did that with his daughter Carrie already), it is the first father/daughter book written about family.

      In some ways, we are an unlikely duo to collaborate on a book. Yes, we share a bloodline, but that’s where our physical similarities end. One of us is a middle-aged man waging a constant battle with nature to recede his middle faster than his hairline. The other is in her mid-20s and is less winded after running a half marathon than her dad is after fetching the mail. One of us grew up poor with the fashion sense of Mr. Rogers; the other was a princess with clothes so of-the-moment trendy, they went out of style before she could get them home from the store.

      In other ways, we are strikingly similar. Both of us get incredibly cranky when we are hungry (we refer to Carrie’s appetite as The Beast). Both of us love roller coasters (the higher, faster, and twistier, the better). We both tend to be task-driven, and we both value education. We were both brought up to be critical thinkers (in the analytical, not the judgmental sense), but we also learned to poke fun at ourselves and to enjoy the lighter side of life. You’ll see this in some of the stories we tell.

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      If you’ve read other books written by members of our family, you may know that for many generations, the Blackaby family has enjoyed a rich Christian heritage. Our family tree is laden with ministers, godly businesspeople, and authors. Henry Blackaby wrote the popular study, Experiencing God, as well as many other influential books.

      All five of Henry’s children grew up to become Christian leaders. Richard is Henry’s oldest son and has authored or co-authored dozens of books on numerous subjects, including leadership, Christian living, and life’s seasons.

      All three of Richard’s children are now adults. Mike and Daniel are happily married to wonderful godly women (whose names, coincidentally, are both Sarah). Mike and Daniel have published a total of five books in the non-fiction and fantasy genres. Both of them serve in Christian ministry and have earned Ph.D.s in the fields of apologetics and Christianity and the Arts.

      Carrie, the co-author of this book, is a fifth generation Blackaby author. She holds a Master of Fine Arts degree in creative nonfiction writing, as well as a Master of Theological Studies degree. She is married to a talented young man named Sam, and together they have a beautiful daughter named Claire.

      I (Richard) am deeply thankful to God for my children and their spouses. When I speak in public, I often reference brilliant parenting techniques my wife, Lisa, used while rearing our children. Those who know her realize she is loaded with unusual insights into parenting and creating a joy-filled home. However, Lisa lunges for cover every time someone holds a microphone near her, so Carrie and I are thrilled that Lisa will put down in print, for the first time, her thoughts on family. Throughout this book, she’ll make guest appearances in the form of notes from “Mom.”

      We mention the current status of our family not to boast, since much of what we have was passed down to us, but to emphasize two things:

      First, our family, though imperfect, is wholesome, God-following, and happy. Like you, we live in a society filled with struggling families. It is estimated that 70 percent of children who grow up regularly attending church with their family will leave their faith some time between high school and college graduation. Many homes are characterized by sadness and conflict rather than laughter. Our family discovered it didn’t have to be that way. Second, though we come from a long line of respected Christian ancestors, our family chose not to live exactly the way they (or anyone else) did. Their methods weren’t necessarily incorrect, but they would have been wrong for us. We realized that even a godly heritage needs tweaking from one generation to the next.

      Don’t assume that because we are writing a book on family we see ourselves as gurus who always get it right—far from it! You’ll soon discover that we are extremely fallible people who are still finding our way as a family. But too many homes are struggling today for us to remain silent and withhold the wisdom we’ve uncovered with God’s help. We hope you will be encouraged by our quirks, entertained by our missteps, and enlightened by our conclusions.

       Richard and Carrie Blackaby