The Complete Works of George Bernard Shaw. GEORGE BERNARD SHAW
He didnt seem to mind.”
“And he warned you, in spite of all.”
“More for your sake than for mine, I suspect. He’s rather sweet on you, isnt he?”
“Oh, Duke, Duke, are you not ashamed of yourself?”
“Deuce a bit. But I’m in trouble; and I want you to stand by me. Look here, Marian, you have no nonsense about you, I know. I may tell you frankly how I am situated, maynt I?”
Marian looked at him apprehensively, and said nothing.
“You see you will only mix up matters worse than before unless you know the truth. Besides, I offered to marry her: upon my soul I did; but she refused. Her real name is Susanna Conolly: his sister, worse luck.”
“Dont tell me any more of this, Duke. It is not right.”
“I suppose it’s not right, as you say. But what am I to do? I must tell you; or you will go on making mischief with Constance.”
“As if I would tell her! I promise that she shall never know from me. Is that enough?”
“No: its too much. The plain truth is that I dont care whether she finds me out or not. I want her to understand thoroughly, once and for ever, that I wont marry her.”
“Marmaduke!”
“Not if I were fifty Marmadukes!”
“Then you will break her heart.”
“Never fear! Her heart is pretty tough, if she has one. Whether or no, I
am not going to have her forced on me by the Countess or any one else.
The truth is, Marian, they have all tried to bully me into this match.
Constance can’t complain.”
“No, not aloud.”
“Neither aloud or alow. I never proposed to her.”
“Very well, Marmaduke: there is no use now in blaming Auntie or excusing yourself. If you have made up your mind, there is an end.”
“But you cant make out that I am acting meanly, Marian. Why, I have everything to lose by giving her up. There is her money, and I suppose I must prepare for a row with the family; unless the match could be dropped quietly. Eh?”
“And is that what you want me to manage for you?”
“Well — . Come, Marian! dont be savage. I have been badly used in this affair. They forced it on me. I did all I could to keep out of it. She was thrown at my head. Besides, I once really used to think I could settle down with her comfortably some day. I only found out what an insipid little fool she was when I had a woman of sense to compare her with.”
“Dont say hard things about her. I think you might have a little forbearance towards her under the circumstances.”
“Hm! I dont feel very forbearing. She has been sticking to me for the last few days like a barnacle. Our respectable young ladies think a lot of themselves, but — except you and Nelly — I dont know a woman in society who has as much brains in her whole body as Susanna Conolly has in her little finger nail. I cant imagine how the deuce you all have the cheek to expect men to talk to you, much less marry you.”
“Perhaps there is something that honest men value more than brains.”
“I should like to know what it is. If it is something that ladies have and Susanna hasnt, it is not either good looks or good sense. If it’s respectability, that depends on what you consider respectable. If Conny’s respectable and Susanna isnt, then I prefer disrepu—”
“Hush, Duke, you know you have no right to speak to me like this. Let us think of poor Constance. How is she to be told the truth?”
“Let her find it out. I shall go back to London as soon as I can; and the affair will drop somehow or another. She will forget all about me.”
“Happy-go-lucky Marmaduke. I think if neglect and absence could make her forget you, you would have been forgotten before this.”
“Yes. You see you must admit that I gave her no reason to suppose I meant anything.”
“I am afraid you have consulted your own humor both in your neglect and your attentions, Duke. The more you try to excuse yourself, the more inexcusable your conduct appears. I do not know how to advise you. If Constance is told, you may some day forget all about your present infatuation; and then a mass of mischief and misery will have been made for nothing. If she is not told, you will be keeping up a cruel deception and wasting her chances of —— but she will never care for anybody else.”
“Better do as I say. Leave matters alone for the present. But mind! no speculating on my changing my intentions. I wont marry her.”
“I wish you hadnt told me about it.”
“Well, Marian, I couldnt help it. I know, of course, that you only wanted to make us all happy; but you nursed this match and kept it in Constance’s mind as much as you could. Besides — though it was not your fault — that mistake about Conolly was too serious not to explain. Dont be downcast: I am not blaming you a bit.”
“It seems to me that the worst view of things is always the true one in this world. Nelly and Jasper were right about you.”
“Aha! So they saw what I felt. You cant say I did not make my intentions plain enough to every unbiassed person. The Countess was determined to get Constance off her hands; Constance was determined to have me; and you were determined to stick up for your own notions of love and honeysuckles.”
“I was determined to stick up for you, Marmaduke.”
“Dont be indignant: I knew you would stick up for me in your own way. But what I want to shew is, that only three people believed that I was in earnest; and those three were prejudiced.”
“I wish you had enlightened Constance, and deceived all the rest of the world, instead. No doubt I was wrong, very wrong. I am very sorry.”
“Pshaw! It doesnt matter. It will all blow over some day. Hush, I hear the garden gate opening. It is Constance, come to spy what I am doing here with you. She is as jealous as a crocodile — very nearly made a scene yesterday because I played with Nelly against her at tennis. I have to drive her to Bushy Copse this afternoon, confound it!”
“And will you, after what you have just confessed?”
“I must. Besides, Jasper says that Conolly is coming this evening to pack up his traps and go; and I want to be out of the way when he is about.”
“This evening!”
“Yes. Between ourselves, Marian, Susanna and I were so put out by the cool way he carried on when he called, that we had a regular quarrel after he went; and we haven’t made it up yet.”
“Pray dont talk about it to me, Duke. Here is Constance.”
“So you are here,” said Constance, gaily, but with a quick glance at them. “That is a pretty way to bring your cousin in to luncheon, sir.”
“We got chatting about you, my ownest,” said Marmaduke; “and the subject was so sweet, and the moments were so fleet, that we talked for quite an hour on the strict q.t. Eh, Marian?”
“As a punishment, you shall have no lunch. Mamma is very angry with you both.”
“Always ready to make allowances for her, provided she sends you to lecture me, Conny. Why dont you wear your hat properly?” He arranged her hat as he spoke. Constance laughed and blushed. Marian shuddered. “Now youre all that fancy painted you: youre lovely, youre divine. Are you ready for Bushy Copse?”
Constance replied by singing:
”Oh yes, if you please, kind sir, she said; sir, she said; sir, she said;
Oh! yes if you ple — ease, kind sir, she said.”
“Then