Twenty Years of Hus'ling. J. P. Johnston
we came to a rough piece of road I would sit back in my seat and cluck and urge her on in an undertone, when she would lay her ears back and dash ahead at lightning speed.
SEE 'ER GO! SEE 'ER GO! THE CRAZY OLD FOOL, SEE 'ER GO.—PAGE 39.
Mr. Smith unable to hear me or to understand the reason for this, would hang on to the reins as she dashed ahead, and say: "See 'er go! See 'er go! The—— old fool, see 'er go! Did you ever see such a crazy—— old fool as she is? See 'er go! See 'er go! Every time she comes to a rough piece of road she lights out as if the d——l was after her. See 'er go! The crazy old fool. See 'er go!"
It was alone laughable to see the old mare travel at a high rate of speed on account of lifting her hind feet so very high in consequence of her "string-halt" affliction.
As soon as the rough road was passed over I would quit urging her, and she would quiet down to her usual gait.
Then Lute, with a look of disgust, would declare that he would trade the—— crazy old fool off the very first chance he had "if he had to take a goat even up for her."
One day we drove up to a farmer who was working in the garden, and Lute inquired at the top of his voice if he had any sheep to sell.
The man said he did not, and never had owned a sheep in his life. I waited until Mr. Smith looked at me for the man's answer when I said:
"Yes, he has some for sale."
Then a conversation about as follows ensued:
Smith—"Are they wethers or ewes?"
Farmer—"I told you I had none for sale."
Interpreter—In undertone, "Wethers."
Smith—"Are they fat?"
Farmer—"Fat nothing. I tell you I have no sheep."
Interpreter—"Very fleshy."
Smith—"About how much will they weigh?"
Farmer—"Oh, go on about your business."
Interpreter—"Six hundred pounds each."
Smith—"Great Heavens! Do you claim to own a flock of sheep that average that weight?"
Interpreter—"He says that's what he claims."
Smith—"Where are they? I would like to see just one sheep of that weight."
Farmer—Disgusted and fighting mad—"O, you are too gosh darn smart for this country."
Interpreter—"He says you had better not call him a liar."
Smith—"Who in thunder called you a liar?"
Farmer—"Well, you had better not call me a liar, either."
Interpreter—"He says you can't beat him out of any sheep."
Smith—"Who wants to beat you out of your sheep, you chump? I can pay for all I buy."
Farmer—looking silly—"Well that's all right. When did you get out of the asylum?"
Interpreter—"He says he wouldn't think so judging from your horse and buggy."
Smith—"Well, I'll bet five hundred dollars you haven't a horse on your cussed old farm that can trot with her."
Farmer—"Who said anything about a horse, you lunatic?"
Interpreter—"He says if you have so much money you'd better pay your debts."
Smith—"You uncultivated denizen of this God-forsaken country, I want you to distinctly understand I do pay my debts and I dare say that is more than you do."
Farmer—"Well, you are absolutely the crankiest old fool I ever saw."
Interpreter—"He says you don't bear that reputation."
Smith—"The dickens I don't. I don't owe you nor any other man a cent that I can't pay in five seconds."
Farmer—to his wife—"Great Heavens! What do you suppose ails that 'ere man?"
Interpreter—"He says he knows you, and you can't swindle him."
Smith (driving off)—"I think you are a crazy old liar anyhow, and I'll bet you never owned a sheep in your life."
The reader will be able to form a better idea of the ridiculousness of this controversy as it sounded to me, by simply reading the conversation between Smith and the farmer, omitting what I had to say.
The need of capital would of course have prevented me from going into the live stock business, and the very thought of my being compelled to work for and under some one else in learning a trade or business, was enough to destroy all pleasure or satisfaction in doing business. This caused my mother much anxiety, as it was a question what course I would pursue.
CHAPTER III
SELLING AND TRADING OFF MY FLOCK OF SHEEP—CO-PARTNERSHIP FORMED WITH A NEIGHBOR BOY—OUR DISSOLUTION—MY CONTINUANCE IN BUSINESS—COLLAPSE OF A CHICKEN DEAL—DESTRUCTION OF A WAGON LOAD OF EGGS—ARRESTED AND FINED MY LAST DOLLAR—ARRIVED HOME "BROKE."
I became very anxious to sell my sheep in order to invest the money in business of some kind, but could not find a buyer for more than twenty-five head. This sale brought me seventy-five dollars in cash, and I traded thirty-five head for a horse and wagon.
Thus equipped, I concluded to engage in buying and selling butter, eggs, chickens and sheep pelts. Not quite satisfied that I would succeed alone, I decided to take in one of our neighbor boys as a partner.
He furnished a horse to drive with mine, and we started out, each having the utmost confidence in the other's ability, but very little confidence in himself.
We made a two weeks' trip, and after selling out entirely and counting our cash, found we had eighteen cents more than when we started. We had each succeeded in ruining our only respectable suit of clothes, and our team looked as if it had been through a six months' war campaign.
My partner said he didn't think there was any money in the business, so we dissolved partnership.
I then decided to make the chicken business a specialty, believing that the profits were large enough to pay well. Mr. Keefer loaned me a horse, and after building a chicken-rack on my wagon, I started out on my new mission.
There was no trouble in buying what I considered a sufficient number to give it a fair trial, which netted me a total cost of thirty-five dollars.
Sandusky City, twenty miles from home, was the point designed for marketing them.
I made calculations on leaving home at one o'clock on the coming Wednesday morning, in order to arrive there early on regular market day.
The night before I was to start, a young acquaintance and distant relative came to visit me. He was delighted with the idea of accompanying me to the city when I invited him to do so.
During the fore part of the night a very severe rain storm visited us. I had left the loaded wagon standing in the yard.
Little suspecting the damage the storm had done me, we drove off in high spirits, entering