Serenade—Josiah swears—“Come, oh come with me”—Josiah shows wickedness—A “meloncholly man”—The Serenader “languishes”—An Address by Thomas J.—Relics left on the field
The Professor’s Poem—The Celebration on the field—Professor Aspire Todd—The Professor’s Speech—Old Mr. Bobbet endorses the speaker—The Editer interferes—“Yes! dround the Black Cat”—The next Speaker—An Argument Illustrated—A Wife’s Devotion—Adjournment for Dinner—Toasts given—A Poem by B. B.—At Home Countin’ the Cost—What good has it done?
Thomas J. discusses the Jews—He expresses his Opinion of Betsey’s Religion—A visit from Simon Slimpsey—His appearance—A Victim of bad luck—“She’ll get round me”—A Poem for Modest Wimmen, by B. B.—Slimpsey don’t want to marry—Reconciled to the loss of his late Consort—Overcome by his fears for the future
A Beautiful October day, good to pull Beets—Betsey gets Kissed at last—A Professor that was married some—Married Men good for some purposes—A Free Love Song—A war Cry—Professor Gusher’s Visit—Peppermint recommended to the Professor for his troubles—No Yearnin’ for Freedom—Value of Divorce Bills—What I would do if I Yearned—A Mean Business
Betsey visits me and brings her Tattin’—She Mourns over her neglected duties—She decides in future to work and also to prey—The Donation Party—Josiah objects to them—Quotes the ’postle Paul as an Example—How we went and what was Donated—Brother Minkley re-preaches his sermon to me—The Elder tempted—The Grab Bag—The Elder throws the tempter—A new attack of the Enemy—Grab Bags and Huzzies finally overcome—Match Makin’—The Editer arrives—He congratulates himself—Married and Saved—Betsey’s disappointment and wild agony—She seeks relief in Poetry—She desires to be a ghost
The new Preacher clung to—A Visit from Betsey—A Discussion on Wimmen’s Speah—Female Delicacy as shown in Waltzin’ with Pirates mebbe—Wimmen as boards—Tattin’ and Paintin’—Dressin’ and Flirtin’—Readin’ Novels—Paul’s Letters—Wimmen’s talk—Itchin’ ears—Betsey’s new Poem on Matrimony—True Marriage—About Divorces—Clingers—Baptist Wimmen Voters—Nater will out: a hen will Scratch—Wimmen won’t be driven—Betsey prefers to walk home and is accommodated
Progress of affairs at Jonesville—Peace and Plenty—Betsey alive but Quiet—H. Greeley and I differ in some things—I propose a Tower—Josiah shows Jealousy—Democrats short of President Stuff—H. G. up for President—Effect of Suspense on me—Josiah consents to the Tower—Preparations—An Overskirt important—Josiah sells the Critter
Open preparations for the Tower—Josiah’s White Hat—My Principles induce me also to wear one—Old “Hail the Day” contributes Feathers—On the Political Fence—Betsey also proposes a Tower—At the Depott—Betsey Explains—The 1st Partin’ for 15 years
The Ticket Master—Folks I met with—Lack of Water Privileges—A Cigar without smoke—The Smilin’ Stranger—Bad use of Eggs—Grant and Colfax—“Ulysses, how do you do”—Betsey reads a Poem to Gen’l Grant—“Let us have Peace”—Betsey overcome by Strategim
A Familiar Stranger—“Will you have a bus?”—Betsey’s Hopes—A Vegetable Widow—Procession on Broadway—Miss Asters’es Tavern—The Register—The Elevator—First thoughts in the Mornin’—Breakfast table—An Insult—Store Tea—I leave the Water Runnin’—Betsey Disappointed again
Call on Miss Hooker—Engaged and what of it—At Miss Woodhull’s door—Of Doubtful Gender—Miss Dr. Walker—Admittance obtained—A newly Married Man—Two Roman Noses
Elizabeth Cady Stanton—H. W. Beecher—Isabella Beecher Hooker—Susan B. Anthony—Theodore Tilton—Victory Woodhull—Male and Female Angels—Feathers on Angel’s Wings—Blind Marriages—Thoroughwert Pukes—Theodore’s Opinions—He Advocates Divorces—To Marry and not to Marry both Solemn—Betsey’s Prayer—Theodore yields
Mr. Cash’es Family—Alexander don’t take Butter, Eggs, Socks, or Barter—A Look at Calicos—Foreign Princes—Dolly Varden and her Acquaintances—A Dreadful Discovery—Betsey’s Poetry in Market
