The Essential Russian Plays & Short Stories. Максим Горький
Good evening. Who lighted the lamp?
SPERANSKY
Miss Olympiada.
YEGOR (blowing it out)
Learned it from Savva. (To Tony) And you, what's the matter with you? How long, how long, for Christ's sake? How long am I to stand all this from you, you good-for-nothing loafers? Eh? Where did you get the whiskey, eh?
TONY
At the bar.
YEGOR
It wasn't put there for you, was it?
TONY
You have a very funny face, father.
YEGOR
Give me the whiskey.
TONY
I won't.
YEGOR
Give here!
TONY
I won't.
YEGOR (slaps his face)
Give it to me, I say.
TONY (falls on the sofa, still holding on to the bottle)
I won't.
YEGOR (sitting down, calmly)
All right, swill until you bust, devil. What was I saying? That fool put it out of my head. Oh yes, the pilgrims are going, it strong this time. It's been a bad year for the crops. That's another reason, I suppose. There's no grub, they have nothing to eat, and so they'll pray. If God listened to every fool's prayer, we'd have a fine time of it. If he listened to every fool, what chance would the wise man have? A fool remains a fool. That's why he is called a fool.
SPERANSKY
That's correct.
YEGOR
I should say it is correct. Father Parfeny is a smart man. He flim-flams them all right. He put up a new coffin—did you hear that? The old one has all been eaten away by the pilgrims, so he put a new one into its place. It was old, so he put a new one instead. They'll eat that one away. No matter what you give them—Tony, are you drinking again?
TONY
I am.
YEGOR
I am! I am! I'll hand you out another one in a moment and we'll see what you say then.
[Enter Savva, looking very gay and lively. He stoops less than usual, talks rapidly, and looks sharp and straight, but his gaze does not rest long on the same person or object.
SAVVA
Ah, the philosophers! Father! A worthy assemblage. Why do you keep it so dark here, like some hell-hole with a lot of rats in it? A philosopher has to have light. The dark is good only for going through people's pockets. Where is the lamp? Oh, here it is. (He lights the lamp)
YEGOR (ironically)
Perhaps you'll open the windows too?
SAVVA
Quite right. I'll open the windows also. (Opens them) My, how they keep pouring in!
SPERANSKY
A whole army.
SAVVA
And all of them will die in time and acquire peace. And then they'll know the truth, for it never comes except in the society of worms. Have I got the essence of your optimistic philosophy down right, my thin, lean friend?
SPERANSKY (with a sigh)
You are always joking.
SAVVA.
And you are always moping. Look here now. What with the poor, scanty fare the deacon's wife doles out to you and your constant grieving, you will soon die, and then your face will assume an expression of perfect peace. A peaked nose, and all around, stretching in every direction, a vast expanse of peace. Can't you get some comfort out of that? Isn't it a consolation to you? Think of it, a tiny island of nose lapped in an ocean of peace.
SPERANSKY (dejectedly)
You are still joking.
SAVVA
The idea! Who would joke about death? No, when you die, I'll follow your funeral and proclaim to all: "Behold, here is a man who has come to know the truth." Oh no, I'll rather hang you up as a banner of truth. And, the more your skin and flesh decompose and crumble, the more will the truth come out. It will be a most instructive object lesson, highly educative. Tony, why are you staring at me?
TONY (sadly)
You have a very funny face.
YEGOR
What are they talking about?
SAVVA
Father, what's the matter with your face? Have you sooted it? It looks as black as Satan's.
YEGOR (quickly putting his hand to his face)
Where?
SPERANSKY
They are just making fun. There is nothing on your face, Mr. Tropinin.
YEGOR
The fool! Satan? You are Satan yourself, God forgive me!
SAVVA (making a terrible face and holding up his fingers in the shape of horns) I am the devil.
YEGOR
By God, you are the very devil himself!
SAVVA (glancing round the room)
Isn't the devil going to get any dinner to-day? I have had all I want of sinners. I am surfeited with them. I should like to have something more appetizing now.
YEGOR
Where were you knocking about at the regular dinner hour? You'll have to do without dinner now.
SAVVA
I was with the children, father, with the children. They told me stories. They tell stories splendidly, and they were all about devils, witches, and the dead—your specialty, philosopher. They trembled with fear as they told them. That's why we stayed so long. They were afraid to go home. Misha was the only one who wasn't scared. He is a brick. He's afraid of nothing.
SPERANSKY (indifferently)
What of it? He'll die too.
SAVVA
My dear sir, don't be so funereal. You are like an undertakers' trust. Don't be forever croaking: "Die, die, die." Here, take my father, for instance. He'll soon die; but look at his face, how pleasant and cheerful it is.
YEGOR
Satan! You're the devil incarnate!
SPERANSKY
But since we don't know—
SAVVA
My good friend, life is such an interesting business. You understand—life. Come, let's have a game of jackstones to-morrow. I'll provide the jacks, first-class jacks. (Enter Lipa, unnoticed) And then you should take gymnastic exercises. I mean it seriously. See how sunken your chest is. You'll choke of consumption in a year or so. The deaconess will be glad, but it will create consternation among the dead. Seriously now. I have taken gymnastic exercises. Look. (He lifts a heavy chair easily by the leg) There, you see!
LIPA (laughing aloud)
Ha, ha, ha!
SAVVA (putting the chair down, with a touch of embarrassment)
What's the matter? I didn't know you were here.
LIPA
You, ought to