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Note
1 * The first three authors contributed equally to writing of this chapter and are listed here in alphabetical order. The writing of this chapter was supported by operating grants from the Natural Sciences and Engineering Research Council of Canada (NSERC), the Social Sciences and Humanities Research Council of Canada (SSHRC), and the Canadian Institutes of Health Research (CIHR) awarded to LAS, and also a SSHRC Vanier Doctoral Scholarship awarded to RH, a SSHRC Graduate Scholarship and Ontario Graduate Scholarship awarded to TLM, and a CIHR Doctoral Scholarship and an Elizabeth Munsterberg Koppitz Fellowship from the American Psychological Foundation awarded to KLP.Please address all correspondence to: Louis A. Schmidt, Department of Psychology, Neuroscience & Behaviour, McMaster University, Hamilton, Ontario, L8S 4K1, Canada, email: [email protected]
3 An Attachment Perspective on Solitude and Loneliness
Mario Mikulincer1, Phillip R. Shaver2, and Inbal Gal1
1Interdisciplinary Center Herzliya, Israel
2University of California Davis, USA
Being together and being alone are two core human experiences that have both rewarding and aversive aspects and can have both positive and negative implications for well‐being and psychosocial functioning (e.g., Coplan et al., 2018; Cupach & Spitzberg, 2010). In the current chapter, we focus on the experience of being alone and propose an attachment‐theoretical (Bowlby, 1973, 1982, 1988) perspective for explaining individual differences in attitudes toward solitude and feelings of loneliness. Specifically, we propose that a sense of attachment security (a belief that one can trust others and can confidently expect that they will be available and responsive when needed) provides a solid foundation for enjoying periods of solitude and developing a capacity to be comfortably alone. In contrast, attachment insecurities interfere with this capacity and transform solitude into an undesirable experience of loneliness. We begin with a brief summary of adult attachment theory and provide an account of the sense of security and the two major dimensions of attachment insecurity, anxiety, and avoidance. Next, we review findings on the interpersonal manifestations of attachment insecurities. Then we propose an attachment perspective on solitude and loneliness and review empirical research concerning attachment‐related differences, during adolescence and adulthood, in the experience of being alone.
Attachment Theory and Research
One of the core tenets of attachment theory (Bowlby, 1973, 1980, 1982) is that human beings are born with a psychobiological system (the attachment behavioral system) that motivates them to seek proximity to significant others (attachment figures) in times of need. According to Bowlby (1982), the goal of this system is to maintain adequate protection and support, which is accompanied by a subjective sense of safety and security. This goal is made salient when people encounter actual or symbolic threats and notice that an attachment figure is not sufficiently near, interested, or responsive (Bowlby, 1982). In such cases, a person’s attachment system is upregulated and the person is motivated to increase or reestablish proximity to an attachment figure so that