Manners and Rules of Good Society; or, Solecisms to be Avoided. Anonymous
In large establishments the hall porter enters the names of all callers in a book expressly kept for the purpose, while some ladies merely desire their servant to sort the cards left for them.
The name of the lady or gentleman for whom the cards are intended should never be written on the cards left at a house. The only case in which it should be done would be when cards are left on a lady or a gentleman staying at a crowded hotel, when, to save confusion, and to ensure their receiving them, their names should be written on them thus: "For Mr. and Mrs. Smith." But this would be quite an exceptional case, otherwise to do so would be extremely vulgar.
Leaving Cards after Entertainments.—Visiting cards should be left after the following entertainments: balls, receptions, private theatricals, amateur concerts, and dinners, by those who have been invited, whether the invitations have been accepted or not, and should be left the day after the entertainment if possible, and certainly within the week according to the rules of card-leaving already described. On these occasions cards should be left without inquiry as to whether the hostess is at home, although after a dinner-party it is the rule to ask if she is at home, as to dine at a house denotes a greater intimacy than being present at a large gathering. If the hostess were not at home, cards should be left.
If a lady has been but once present at any entertainment, whether the invitation came through a mutual friend or direct from the hostess herself, the hostess being but a slight acquaintance of her own, besides leaving cards on her the day following, she can, if she desires, leave cards on her the following season, or, if residing in the same town, within a reasonable time of the entertainment; but if these cards are not acknowledged by cards being left in return, she should of course understand that the acquaintance is to proceed no further.
A lady should not leave cards on another lady to whom she has but recently been introduced at a dinner-party or afternoon tea; for instance, she must meet her several times in society, and feel sure that her acquaintance is desired, before venturing to leave cards. If two ladies are of equal rank, tact will be their best guide as to the advisability of leaving cards or not upon each other; the lady of superior rank may take the initiative if she pleases. If either of the ladies express a wish to further the acquaintance by asking the other to call upon her, the suggestion should come from the lady of highest rank; if of equal rank it is immaterial as to which first makes the suggestion. But in either case the call should be paid within the week.
Leaving Cards upon New-comers.—In the country the residents should be the first to leave cards on the new-comers, after ascertaining the position which the new-comers occupy in society.
Persons moving in the same sphere should either leave cards or call according as they intend to be ceremonious or friendly, and the return visits should be paid in like manner, a card for a card, a call for a call.
It is the received rule that residents should call on new-comers, although having no previous acquaintance with them, or introductions to them.
New-comers, even if of higher rank, should not call on residents in the first instance, but should wait until the residents have taken the initiative. If residents do not wish to continue the acquaintance after the first meeting, it is discontinued by not leaving cards, or by not calling again, and if the new-comers feel disinclined to continue the acquaintance they should return the calls by leaving cards only. Calling on new-comers in the country should not be done indiscriminately, and due consideration should be paid to individual status in society.
The lady of highest social position in the circle to which the new-comers belong generally takes the responsibility of calling first on the new-comers. By new-comers is expressed persons who intend to reside in a county or town for a long, or even for a short period, and who are not casual visitors in the place.
The custom of residents calling on new-comers is entirely confined to county society, and does not apply to residents in large towns and populous watering-places.
In old cathedral cities and quiet country towns, far from the metropolis, on the contrary, the rule holds good of residents calling on new-comers.
Cards "To Inquire."—Cards to inquire after friends during their illness should be left in person, and should not be sent by post; but they may be sent by a servant. On a lady's visiting card should be written above the printed name: "To inquire after Mrs. Smith." When the person inquired after is sufficiently recovered to return thanks in person, the usual visiting card, with "many thanks for kind inquiries," written above the printed name, is the usual mode of returning thanks, and is all-sufficient for the purpose.
P.P.C. Cards.—Formerly P.P.C. cards were left within a week of departure, or within ten days if the acquaintance was a large one.
The letters P.P.C. for pour prendre congé, written at the lower corner of visiting cards, indicate departure from town or from a neighbourhood. P.P.C. cards may be left in person or sent by a servant; they can also be sent by post. The object of leaving P.P.C. cards is to avoid leave-takings and correspondence concerning departure, and to prevent offence being given if letters and invitations remained unanswered.
In the country an absence of from three to six months renders leaving P.P.C. cards somewhat necessary; under that period it would be unnecessary to give notice of a temporary absence which does not amount to an actual departure. Short absences render it unnecessary to leave P.P.C. cards. Holiday movements at Christmas, Easter, and Whitsuntide are thoroughly recognised, and no leave-taking is obligatory. P.P.C. cards are now seldom if ever left in town.
Business Calls.—When a lady makes a strictly business call upon either a lady or gentleman she should give her card to the servant to be taken to his master or mistress, but on no other occasion should she do so.
Gentlemen's Visiting Cards.—A gentleman's card should be thin—thick cards are not in good taste—and not glazed, and of the usual narrow width, i.e. one and a half inches in depth, and three inches in width; his name should be printed in the centre, thus: "Mr. Smith" or "Mr. Francis Smith," should he require the addition of his christian name to distinguish him from his father or elder brother. To have "Francis Smith" printed on the card without the prefix of "Mr." would be in bad taste.
Initials appertaining to honorary rank should never be written or printed on a card, such as D.L., K.C., M.P., K.C.B., M.D., etc. Military or professional titles necessarily precede the surname of the person bearing them, and are always used, such as "Colonel Smith," "Captain Smith," "Rev. H. Smith," "Dr. Smith," etc.
As regards titles, "The Honourable" is the only title that is not used on a visiting card. Thus "The Honourable Henry Smith's" card should bear the words "Mr. Henry Smith" only.
A Baronet's card should be printed thus, "Sir George Smith," and a Knight's card thus, "Sir Charles Smith." A gentleman's address should be printed in the left hand corner of the card. If a member of a club, it is usual to print the name of the club at the right hand. Officers usually have the name of the club printed at the left hand corner in the place of the address, and the regiment to which they belong at the right hand.
Cards should be printed in small copper-plate script, without ornamentation of any kind. Old English letters look old-fashioned on a card, and are but little used; and ornamental capital letters are never used, and are out of date. The lettering should be as plain and as free from any sort of embellishment as it well can be.
The Routine of Card-leaving for Gentlemen.—To bachelors card-leaving is an irksome routine of etiquette, and is, therefore, in a measure often neglected, by reason of their having little or no leisure at command during the afternoon hours. This is now thoroughly understood and accepted in general society. When, however, a bachelor has his way to make in society and has leisure to further the acquaintanceships he has already made, he should follow the rules of card-leaving.
Bachelors, as a rule, are expected to leave cards on the master and mistress of a house with whom they are acquainted as soon as they are aware that the family have arrived in town; or if a bachelor himself has been away, he should leave cards on his acquaintances immediately after