The Complete 12 Novels of Mark Twain. Mark Twain
Miss Gashly — ”Well then, I wish you’d take us back, mother; I’m sure I hate this stoopid country enough, even if it is our dear native land.”
Miss Emmeline Gashly — ”What and leave poor Johnny Peterson behind?” [An airy genial laugh applauded this sally].
Miss Gashly — ”Sister, I should think you’d be ashamed of yourself!”
Miss Emmeline — ”Oh, you needn’t ruffle your feathers so: I was only joking. He don’t mean anything by coming to the house every evening — only comes to see mother. Of course that’s all!” [General laughter].
Miss G. prettily confused — ”Emmeline, how can you!”
Mrs. G. — ”Let your sister alone, Emmeline. I never saw such a tease!”
Mrs. Oreille — ”What lovely corals you have, Miss Hawkins! Just look at them, Bridget, dear. I’ve a great passion for corals — it’s a pity they’re getting a little common. I have some elegant ones — not as elegant as yours, though — but of course I don’t wear them now.”
Laura — ”I suppose they are rather common, but still I have a great affection for these, because they were given to me by a dear old friend of our family named Murphy. He was a very charming man, but very eccentric. We always supposed he was an Irishman, but after he got rich he went abroad for a year or two, and when he came back you would have been amused to see how interested he was in a potato.
He asked what it was! Now you know that when Providence shapes a mouth especially for the accommodation of a potato you can detect that fact at a glance when that mouth is in repose — foreign travel can never remove that sign. But he was a very delightful gentleman, and his little foible did not hurt him at all. We all have our shams — I suppose there is a sham somewhere about every individual, if we could manage to ferret it out. I would so like to go to France. I suppose our society here compares very favorably with French society does it not, Mrs. Oreille?”
Mrs. O. — ”Not by any means, Miss Hawkins! French society is much more elegant — much more so.”
Laura — ”I am sorry to hear that. I suppose ours has deteriorated of late.”
Mrs. O. — ”Very much indeed. There are people in society here that have really no more money to live on than what some of us pay for servant hire. Still I won’t say but what some of them are very good people — and respectable, too.”
Laura — ”The old families seem to be holding themselves aloof, from what I hear. I suppose you seldom meet in society now, the people you used to be familiar with twelve or fifteen years ago?”
Mrs. O. — ”Oh, no-hardly ever.”
Mr. O’Riley kept his first rum-mill and protected his customers from the law in those days, and this turn of the conversation was rather uncomfortable to madame than otherwise.
Hon. Mrs. Higgins — ”Is Francois’ health good now, Mrs. Oreille?”
Mrs. O. — (Thankful for the intervention) — ”Not very. A body couldn’t expect it. He was always delicate — especially his lungs — and this odious climate tells on him strong, now, after Parry, which is so mild.”
Mrs. H: — ”I should think so. Husband says Percy’ll die if he don’t have a change; and so I’m going to swap round a little and see what can be done. I saw a lady from Florida last week, and she recommended Key West. I told her Percy couldn’t abide winds, as he was threatened with a pulmonary affection, and then she said try St. Augustine. It’s an awful distance — ten or twelve hundred mile, they say but then in a case of this kind — a body can’t stand back for trouble, you know.”
Mrs. O. — ”No, of course that’s off. If Francois don’t get better soon we’ve got to look out for some other place, or else Europe. We’ve thought some of the Hot Springs, but I don’t know. It’s a great responsibility and a body wants to go cautious. Is Hildebrand about again, Mrs. Gashly?”
Mrs. G. — ”Yes, but that’s about all. It was indigestion, you know, and it looks as if it was chronic. And you know I do dread dyspepsia. We’ve all been worried a good deal about him. The doctor recommended baked apple and spoiled meat, and I think it done him good. It’s about the only thing that will stay on his stomach now-a-days. We have Dr. Shovel now. Who’s your doctor, Mrs. Higgins?”
Mrs. H. — ”Well, we had Dr. Spooner a good while, but he runs so much to emetics, which I think are weakening, that we changed off and took Dr. Leathers. We like him very much. He has a fine European reputation, too. The first thing he suggested for Percy was to have him taken out in the back yard for an airing, every afternoon, with nothing at all on.”
Mrs. O. and Mrs. G. — ”What!”
Mrs. H. — ”As true as I’m sitting here. And it actually helped him for two or three days; it did indeed. But after that the doctor said it seemed to be too severe and so he has fell back on hot foot-baths at night and cold showers in the morning. But I don’t think there can be any good sound help for him in such a climate as this. I believe we are going to lose him if we don’t make a change.”
Mrs. O. “I suppose you heard of the fright we had two weeks ago last Saturday? No? Why that is strange — but come to remember, you’ve all been away to Richmond. Francois tumbled from the sky light — in the second-story hall clean down to the first floor — ”
Everybody — ”Mercy!”
Mrs. O. — ”Yes indeed — and broke two of his ribs — ”
Everybody — ”What!”
Mrs. O. “Just as true as you live. First we thought he must be injured internally. It was fifteen minutes past 8 in the evening. Of course we were all distracted in a moment — everybody was flying everywhere, and nobody doing anything worth anything. By and by I flung out next door and dragged in Dr. Sprague; President of the Medical University no time to go for our own doctor of course — and the minute he saw Francois he said, ‘Send for your own physician, madam;’ said it as cross as a bear, too, and turned right on his heel, and cleared out without doing a thing!”
Everybody — ”The mean, contemptible brute!”
Mrs. O — ”Well you may say it. I was nearly out of my wits by this time. But we hurried off the servants after our own doctor and telegraphed mother — she was in New York and rushed down on the first train; and when the doctor got there, lo and behold you he found Francois had broke one of his legs, too!”
Everybody — ”Goodness!”
Mrs. O. — ”Yes. So he set his leg and bandaged it up, and fixed his ribs and gave him a dose of something to quiet down his excitement and put him to sleep — poor thing he was trembling and frightened to death and it was pitiful to see him. We had him in my bed — Mr. Oreille slept in the guest room and I laid down beside Francois — but not to sleep bless you no. Bridget and I set up all night, and the doctor staid till two in the morning, bless his old heart. — When mother got there she was so used up with anxiety, that she had to go to bed and have the doctor; but when she found that Francois was not in immediate danger she rallied, and by night she was able to take a watch herself. Well for three days and nights we three never left that bedside only to take an hour’s nap at a time. And then the doctor said Francois was out of danger and if ever there was a thankful set, in this world, it was us.”
Laura’s respect for these women had augmented during this conversation, naturally enough; affection and devotion are qualities that are able to adorn and render beautiful a character that is otherwise unattractive, and even repulsive.
Mrs. Gashly — ”I do believe I should a died if I had been in your place, Mrs. Oreille. The time Hildebrand was so low with the pneumonia Emmeline and me were all alone with him most of the time and we never took a minute’s sleep for as much as two days and nights. It was at Newport and we wouldn’t