The Complete 12 Novels of Mark Twain. Mark Twain
beamed again. He liked to be called “uncle” by this beautiful woman.
“Did you see Hopperson last night after the congressional prayer meeting?”
“Yes. He came. He’s a kind of — ”
“Eh? he is one of my friends, Laura. He’s a fine man, a very fine man. I don’t know any man in congress I’d sooner go to for help in any Christian work. What did he say?”
“Oh, he beat around a little. He said he should like to help the negro, his heart went out to the negro, and all that — plenty of them say that but he was a little afraid of the Tennessee Land bill; if Senator Dilworthy wasn’t in it, he should suspect there was a fraud on the government.”
“He said that, did he?”
“Yes. And he said he felt he couldn’t vote for it. He was shy.”
“Not shy, child, cautious. He’s a very cautious man. I have been with him a great deal on conference committees. He wants reasons, good ones. Didn’t you show him he was in error about the bill?”
“I did. I went over the whole thing. I had to tell him some of the side arrangements, some of the — ”
“You didn’t mention me?”
“Oh, no. I told him you were daft about the negro and the philanthropy part of it, as you are.”
“Daft is a little strong, Laura. But you know that I wouldn’t touch this bill if it were not for the public good, and for the good of the colored race; much as I am interested in the heirs of this property, and would like to have them succeed.”
Laura looked a little incredulous, and the Senator proceeded.
“Don’t misunderstand me, I don’t deny that it is for the interest of all of us that this bill should go through, and it will. I have no concealments from you. But I have one principle in my public life, which I should like you to keep in mind; it has always been my guide. I never push a private interest if it is not Justified and ennobled by some larger public good. I doubt if a Christian would be justified in working for his own salvation if it was not to aid in the salvation of his fellow men.”
The Senator spoke with feeling, and then added,
“I hope you showed Hopperson that our motives were pure?”
“Yes, and he seemed to have a new light on the measure: I think will vote for it.”
“I hope so; his name will give tone and strength to it. I knew you would only have to show him that it was just and pure, in order to secure his cordial support.”
“I think I convinced him. Yes, I am perfectly sure he will vote right now.”
“That’s good, that’s good,” said the Senator; smiling, and rubbing his hands. “Is there anything more?”
“You’ll find some changes in that I guess,” handing the Senator a printed list of names. “Those checked off are all right.”
“Ah — ’m — ’m,” running his eye down the list. “That’s encouraging. What is the ‘C’ before some of the names, and the ‘B. B.’?”
“Those are my private marks. That ‘C’ stands for ‘convinced,’ with argument. The ‘B. B.’ is a general sign for a relative. You see it stands before three of the Hon. Committee. I expect to see the chairman of the committee to-day, Mr. Buckstone.”
“So, you must, he ought to be seen without any delay. Buckstone is a worldly sort of a fellow, but he has charitable impulses. If we secure him we shall have a favorable report by the committee, and it will be a great thing to be able to state that fact quietly where it will do good.”
“Oh, I saw Senator Balloon”
“He will help us, I suppose? Balloon is a wholehearted fellow. I can’t help loving that man, for all his drollery and waggishness. He puts on an air of levity sometimes, but there aint a man in the senate knows the scriptures as he does. He did not make any objections?”
“Not exactly, he said — shall I tell you what he said?” asked Laura glancing furtively at him.
“Certainly.”
“He said he had no doubt it was a good thing; if Senator Dilworthy was in it, it would pay to look into it.”
The Senator laughed, but rather feebly, and said, “Balloon is always full of his jokes.”
“I explained it to him. He said it was all right, he only wanted a word with you,”, continued Laura. “He is a handsome old gentleman, and he is gallant for an old man.”
“My daughter,” said the Senator, with a grave look, “I trust there was nothing free in his manner?”
“Free?” repeated Laura, with indignation in her face. “With me!”
“There, there, child. I meant nothing, Balloon talks a little freely sometimes, with men. But he is right at heart. His term expires next year and I fear we shall lose him.”
“He seemed to be packing the day I was there. His rooms were full of dry goods boxes, into which his servant was crowding all manner of old clothes and stuff: I suppose he will paint ‘Pub. Docs’ on them and frank them home. That’s good economy, isn’t it?”
“Yes, yes, but child, all Congressmen do that. It may not be strictly honest, indeed it is not unless he had some public documents mixed in with the clothes.”
“It’s a funny world. Goodbye, uncle. I’m going to see that chairman.”
And humming a cheery opera air, she departed to her room to dress for going out. Before she did that, however, she took out her note book and was soon deep in its contents; marking, dashing, erasing, figuring, and talking to herself.
“Free! I wonder what Dilworthy does think of me anyway? One … two … eight … seventeen … twenty-one … ‘m’m … it takes a heap for a majority. Wouldn’t Dilworthy open his eyes if he knew some of the things Balloon did say to me. There … . Hopperson’s influence ought to count twenty … the sanctimonious old curmudgeon. Son-in-law … sinecure in the negro institution… . That about gauges him… . The three committeemen … sons-in-law. Nothing like a son-in-law here in Washington or a brother-in-law… . And everybody has ‘em… .Let’s see: … sixty-one… . with places … twenty-five … persuaded — it is getting on; … . we’ll have two-thirds of Congress in time … Dilworthy must surely know I understand him. Uncle Dilworthy … . Uncle Balloon! — Tells very amusing stories … when ladies are not present … I should think so … .’m … ‘m. Eighty-five. There. I must find that chairman. Queer… . Buckstone acts… . Seemed to be in love … . . I was sure of it. He promised to come here … and he hasn’t… . Strange. Very strange … . I must chance to meet him to-day.”
Laura dressed and went out, thinking she was perhaps too early for Mr. Buckstone to come from the house, but as he lodged near the bookstore she would drop in there and keep a look out for him.
While Laura is on her errand to find Mr. Buckstone, it may not be out of the way to remark that she knew quite as much of Washington life as Senator Dilworthy gave her credit for, and more than she thought proper to tell him. She was acquainted by this time with a good many of the young fellows of Newspaper Row; and exchanged gossip with them to their mutual advantage.
They were always talking in the Row, everlastingly gossiping, bantering and sarcastically praising things, and going on in a style which was a curious commingling of earnest and persiflage. Col. Sellers liked this talk amazingly, though he was sometimes a little at sea in it — and perhaps that didn’t lessen the relish of the conversation to the correspondents.
It seems that they had got hold of the drygoods box packing story about Balloon, one day, and were talking it over when the Colonel came in. The Colonel