Chloe Sims - The Only Way is Up - My Story. Chloe Sims
at the exact same time as I was crossing the road.
I didn’t know what to do, so I said to the people I was with, ‘Oh my God, keep walking!’ I told them it was my ex-boyfriend and not to turn around. Obviously, I wasn’t going to tell them that I was still in love with him. As soon as I saw him again, I realised it was him I wanted and not Lee, so I decided to ring him – which in many ways was a very bad idea.
For a start, he’d told me that if he ever saw me in east London again he’d slap me, so I was shitting myself about what he’d say. Plus, I was living with Lee and here I was, pining for my ex. I didn’t have his number any more so I rang my step-mum, Karen, and asked her to get my old address book from the top of the wardrobe. Straight away she asked why and whose number I was after. I had to admit that I was after Danny Chapman’s.
‘Oh, Chloe, I really don’t think that’s a good idea. Remember what happened last time. I think you should leave it,’ was her reply.
But I told her I really needed to speak to him – after all, I couldn’t get him out of my head – so she reluctantly gave me the number. My heart was pounding as the phone rang but he didn’t answer, probably because he didn’t recognise the number, and it went straight to voicemail.
For some reason, I left a stroppy message telling him I’d seen him down the Roman Road and said, ‘I’ve been going to east London all my life, and I’m not going to let you dictate where I can go!’
As soon as I put the phone down, he immediately rang back and didn’t mention my message or his threat that he would slap me if he ever saw me again. He just said, ‘Where are you? Are you back in England?’
I told him I was working at the mobile shop in Loughton and he said he was coming straight over. I couldn’t believe it!
I hadn’t really thought it all through before I rang him but I certainly didn’t imagine he would come straight over to see me, but he did. We walked down the High Street, chatting away and catching up, and he was even better looking than I remembered. He was so fit and I really fancied him. I had to admit to myself that I’d never really fancied Lee at all. Deep down, I knew being back in touch with Danny was a dangerous game because of where it might lead, but I couldn’t help it.
Me and Danny started texting each other. Lee was totally getting on my nerves by this point and making me cringe. I hadn’t really been attracted to him from day one and now all I could think about was Danny.
Just a few days after we’d met up again, I went on a night out and arranged to meet up with Danny. We ended up going back to his house and I slept with him. I’m a really loyal person and cheating is something I’m really against, but I just couldn’t resist Danny. I felt I had let him go once, and I was being given a second chance so I grabbed it with both hands.
The next morning, I was dreading going home to face Lee. I had been out all night and not come home – I’d lied and told him that I’d stayed at my Nanny Daisy’s because I was in east London. When I walked in the house, he had a face like thunder. He looked at me and said, ‘Where the hell have you been?’
‘I told you where I’ve been, I stayed at my Nanny Daisy’s,’ I said.
‘No you didn’t – I know you didn’t!’
It turned out he hadn’t believed me when I’d said I was staying there, so, before I got back in the morning, he had phoned my Nanny Daisy and asked if I’d stayed with her.
Obviously, she didn’t have a clue what was going on and didn’t think to lie, so she just said no, I hadn’t been there. How stupid of me. Lee was going ballistic, wanting to know where I’d been and why I was lying to him. It was awful.
I didn’t know what to do but I was sure by this point that it was Danny I wanted to be with, so I told him I’d been with Danny. He went mental, calling me every name under the sun – bitch, slag, the lot. Then he picked up the phone and said, ‘Right, I’m gonna tell your dad!’
I was shitting myself. I knew he’d hit the roof. I told him that he could call him if he wanted but it wouldn’t achieve anything; it was over between him and me, and it was Danny I wanted to be with.
Then Lee started screaming at me, ‘I moved back here for you! How could you? I gave up everything to come back and now you’re dumping me after just a few months. I’ve just bought you a really expensive handbag and everything.’ He was so angry that he asked for the bag back, but there was no way I was giving it to him!
We had such an almighty row and then he told me that we had to go to Worthing to see his aunt. The visit had been planned for ages and he’d told his aunt and nieces that I was going with him. His nieces were a few years younger than me and I’d promised that I would give them some of my old clothes; they were really excited about me going down there. I told Lee after everything that had happened there was no way I was going with him, but he just shouted at me and really laid it on thick. ‘They are expecting you to be there – you can’t let them down. They want to see you; they’ll be gutted if you don’t turn up. How can you do that to them? After what you’ve just done to me, it’s the least you can do!’ he shouted at me.
I felt bad about what I’d done to Lee, so eventually I agreed to go. I’d just slept with my ex behind my boyfriend’s back and the last thing I wanted was to go and see his family and make polite small talk. I had to sit in the car for two hours all the way down there while he yelled stuff at me like, ‘You made me come home and now you’ve done this. How could you?’ Then he’d go from being angry to being upset and crying, and then back to angry again. It was awful – I felt like the worst bitch ever.
When we arrived at his aunt’s house, we tried to pretend everything was fine between us because he didn’t want to tell them we were breaking up. It was horrendous. His nieces didn’t notice but his aunt could clearly tell something was wrong and kept giving us funny looks. I totally did not want to be there at all and Lee knew that; he was just punishing me.
I then had the return journey to cope with, Lee shouting more insults at me and me just sitting there and taking it. He started being really nasty about Danny and saying that because I’d dumped him before it would never work out because he’d never really forgive me. I didn’t care what he thought about Danny, I was totally smitten and I thought he was just being bitter. Anyway, I knew for certain I didn’t want to be with Lee.
The next day, I was at work and he rang me, kicking off. He yelled, ‘I’m going to come down your work and smash it up!’ I was scared what he’d do next. In the end, he just came down, and we sat in the car and talked. I remember him turning to me and saying, ‘Is it definitely over?’ and I had to say, ‘Yes, it is.’ It was awful – we’d been together eleven months and he’d moved thousands of miles for me. I felt bad for Lee but he wasn’t settled back in England anyway, and after we broke up he went straight back to Majorca.
Once my relationship with Lee ended, Danny and me got back together properly and for a while I was happy, but then he changed his mind again and dumped me. I don’t think he’d ever really forgiven me for not coming back the previous year. Lee was right, after all.
Deep down, I knew it was my own fault because I’d dumped him the first time around and I just couldn’t believe I’d ruined everything. I thought he was the love of my life – I didn’t think I would ever meet anyone else again. I was absolutely heartbroken.
I sank into depression and couldn’t be bothered at work so I lost my job and had to move back in with my dad in Collier Row. All I cared about was my heartache.
It wasn’t long before I hit rock bottom and I spent most of the time crying over Danny – and I couldn’t accept that it was really over. My heart was broken and I wasn’t thinking straight. I even turned into a bit of a stalker. I used to ring him constantly, but he would just cut me off. I would ring his parents’ house as well and they got really fed up with me – I just wanted to know what he was doing. Plus, I couldn’t stand being back at my dad’s house because I’d been living on my