A History of Matrimonial Institutions (Vol. 1-3). George Elliott Howard
Many illustrations of this fact might be presented. Among the aborigines of North and South America, where, as we have seen, wife-purchase and even wife-capture are common, woman possesses a wide liberty of choice. In arctic regions the wife sometimes runs away from the husband forced upon her and joins her lover;[687] and in general the maiden often thus escapes a detested suitor. Such is the case, for instance, among the Greenlanders, Dakotas, Caribs, and Patagonians;[688] while among the Abipones, according to Dobrizhoffer, when a man thinks fit to choose a wife, he must bargain with the parents of the girl about the price. But "it frequently happens that the girl rescinds what had been settled and agreed upon ... obstinately rejecting the very mention of marriage. Many girls, through fear of being compelled to marry, have concealed themselves in the recesses of the woods or lakes; seeming to dread the assaults of tigers less than the untried nuptials. Some of them, just before they are to be brought to the bridegroom's house, fly to the chapel, and there, hidden behind the altar, elude the threats and the expectation of the unwelcome" suitor.[689] In exactly the same way she gains her will in Tierra del Fuego, where the lover serves for his bride;[690] and among the same people "the eagerness with which the women seek for young husbands is surprising, but even more surprising is the fact that they nearly always attain their ends."[691] The Comanche suitor must buy his bride of her parents; but unless she manifests her willingness by leading his pony into the stall, the bargain is void.[692] A similar freedom in choosing her mate is asserted by the woman of the Pueblos, Creeks, Chippewas, and various other tribes;[693] while the existence of real affection and true courtship is shown by the fact that suicide sometimes happens on account of disappointed love.[694]
Free marriage, very often in connection with wife-purchase, prevails widely throughout the African peoples. Accounts differ as to the Kafirs. According to Fritsch, a woman is bought like any chattel.[695] But Leslie declares that generally the man first tries to win her consent; for it is "a mistake to imagine that a girl is sold by her father in the same manner, and with the same authority, with which he would dispose of a cow."[696] On the other hand, Fritsch shows that the heart of the Bechuana, and especially that of the despised Bushman, "is not so full of his oxen," the woman having some liberty of choice.[697] Winwood Reade informed Darwin, with respect to the negroes of western Africa, that "the women, at least among the more intelligent pagan tribes, have no difficulty in getting the husbands whom they may desire, although it is considered unwomanly to ask a man to marry them. They are quite capable of falling in love, and of forming tender, passionate, and faithful attachments."[698]
Throughout all Micronesia and in many parts of Melanesia marriage implies the consent of the betrothed. The New Caledonian girl is thus always consulted; and, if forced to obey her parents, she takes the first opportunity to elope with the man of her choice.[699] In the New Britain group "after the man has worked for years to pay for his wife, and is finally in a position to take her to his house, she may refuse to go, and he cannot claim back from the parents the large sums he has paid them in yams, cocoanuts, and sugar-canes."[700] Betrothal by the guardian and self-marriage appear together in Burma. In the first case the daughter is given by her father in return for service and gifts. Her consent is not essential; but if she runs away from her husband more than three times, she is free, and her parents retain the gifts. In the second case the girl elopes without the guardian's consent, a recognized marriage relation being thus established, though the guardian may reclaim the bride. Should she, however, return thrice to her husband, she remains his legal wife.[701] "Among the Minahassers of Celebes courtship or love-making 'is always strictly an affair of the heart and not in any way dependent upon the consent or even wish of the parents.'"[702] The Rejang suitor of Sumatra elopes with the girl and pays the price afterwards; and such is often the case in Australia, among the uncivilized tribes of India, and throughout the Indian Archipelago. In all these cases, as well as among some of the Turanian peoples of central and northern Asia, the choice of the woman, even without elopement, is usually decisive, though often the arrangement of the marriage belongs legally to the parents.[703]
It is very easy to exaggerate the bright as well as the dark features of primitive social life. The reports of travelers, often untrained in the interpretation of the facts which they observe, are notoriously untrustworthy. It is extremely difficult to discern the motives which actuate men in a stage of culture remote from our own. Nevertheless it seems certain that the position of uncivilized woman with respect to marriage is not quite so hopeless as is generally imagined. The facts appear to demonstrate that woman's original liberty of selection has never been entirely lost. It is evident that wife-purchase, though sometimes the means of degradation, even of marital bondage, is compatible with a high degree of matrimonial choice. The ideas which influence the "uncivilized" man in selling his daughter are probably often very similar to those which govern the thrifty father in modern society when he insists on securing a good "match" for his child. The price is regarded as a fair equivalent for the services to which the parent is justly entitled in return for rearing the girl.[704] The Kafir maiden who brings a good price from her suitor is not therefore necessarily a "chattel" any more than is the daughter whose labor the civilized parent lets out for hire.[705] A high price may be looked upon also as a proper recognition of the rank or of the mental and physical attractions of the bride.[706] Furthermore, it is significant that actual bride-purchase may coexist with advanced ethical and religious conceptions of the marriage state. Such, according to Kohler, is the case in the Punjab, where the courts under British rule have decided that the sale of a woman to be a wife is not punishable as a crime under the statute forbidding the sale of a human being into slavery;[707] and Leist has shown that in the dharma period of early Aryan history the purchased wife was not regarded as a "thing," but in the fullest sense as a free wife entitled to share the sacra of the husband's house. Nay, the actual payment of the legal bride-money in certain cases was the only means through which marriage by purchase could reach the proper ethical end of legitimate marriage: the birth of a son to perpetuate the ancestral worship.[708]
Another fact, sometimes misinterpreted, seems to point clearly to the persistence of original free marriage. It is highly significant that wife-purchase appears never to have existed at all among a certain number of very low races, with which nevertheless marriage rests on the free consent of the parties. Such is the case among the California Wintun, the Alaskan Yukonikhotana, the Andamanese, the Chittagong hill tribes, and certain African peoples. Among the "Pádams, one of the lowest peoples of India, it is customary for a lover to show his inclinations whilst courting by presenting his sweetheart and her parents with small delicacies, such as field mice and squirrels, though the parents seldom interfere with the young couple's designs, and it would be regarded as an indelible disgrace to barter a child's happiness for money."[709] So likewise with the Veddahs[710] either no presents are given on either side, or else the ceremony consists simply in offering some food to the parents of the bride; and elsewhere the proffer of similar "wooing-gifts," without previous stipulation, must be looked upon either as a token of good-will or as an indication of the ability of the bridegroom to provide for a wife, rather than as a means of purchase.[711] The probational marriages of the Seri Indians appear to have a like significance.[712] May we not go a step farther? Is it not probable that the widely diffused custom of bestowing presents of greater value, even where the amount is established by usage or previous agreement, may sometimes be due to like motives? Though, as a rule, the presentation of such gifts represents a "weakened" form of wife-purchase, it does not seem necessary to assign the origin of the practice to a single cause. The same is true of the custom of exchanging presents between the two families. Usually it is rightly explained as a stage in the decay of purchase and in the rise of the dower; but when we find the return of gifts in use among such rude peoples, for instance, as the Bechuanas, the Kalmucks, the Makassars, and the American Indians,[713] it seems reasonable to suppose that the custom, in some cases at least, may represent a ceremonial development of free marriage, taking its rise in various motives. Thus among the Todas, it has been suggested, the transaction appears as an exchange of dowers to serve as a security for the mutual good behavior of the future couple.[714] Similarly with the American Indians the gift to the bride's parents may sometimes be designed to purchase clan privileges[715] or to procure the "alliance of the wife's cabin;" while the exchange of presents, which is found where it is usual for the husband to take up his abode in the wife's home, ought perhaps to be regarded as a matrimonial compact of alliance between the