The Yummy Mummy’s Family Handbook. Liz Fraser
be proud of as a nation. I realise that few of us have much time to spend watching our kids hacking carrots into huge, irregular chunks with a blunt knife or sloshing milk and flour all over the hob in an attempt at junior béchamel sauce. But how many of even the busiest parents can honestly say they couldn’t cook one meal a week, from start to finish, with their children?
Sarah, mother of Louisa, five, and Robert, two:
When the children help to cook their dinner they always eat much more of it—probably because of all the effort that went into it, but I think it’s also because they like the idea of trying what they have made. They are proud of it, and I know they will be able to cook healthily for themselves one day.
Cooking with my mother is something I remember very well and she passed on all of her recipes, techniques and clever tricks to me. I then discarded the bad bits (putting cottage cheese in a lasagne) and kept the good stuff (cleaning up as I go, keeping one chopping board for onions only, etc.) and I shall pass these edited highlights onto my kids.
Even if children aren’t actually doing anything, just being with you in the kitchen and watching what you do can rub off a lot: I learned how to knead dough by watching my granny squish hers to death with her scarily strong hands; and my mum’s well-trained sense of ‘Oh, that must be roughly four ounces of flour? Just chuck it in and see what happens’ is invaluable. Perfect scones and no fuss.
Nurturing an affinity and a familiarity with food is essential for children to have a positive relationship with it for the rest of their lives. It also teaches them essential lessons in how to cook healthily for themselves, and to be aware of what goes into their meals. But it takes time and you will have to be prepared to get a little floury along the way. The following tips should help:
Don’t rush. If you are pre-menstrual, the dishwasher man is due any minute and your two-year-old is getting tired and fractious, then it’s really not the best time to suggest a communal cooka-thon. Cooking with kids means Things Will Go Wrong, and you need loads of time to spare and a good sense of humour. Snapping at them when the egg so inevitably ends up dripping into the cutlery drawer will put them off for life. ‘Never mind—you’re doing really well’ is much more what they want to hear, even if that’s bollocks and you all know it.
Get the kit. If it entices your mini Raymond Blancs into the kitchen, then get some gorgeous children’s aprons, chef hats, mini mixing bowls, wooden spoons, chopping boards and biscuit cutters.
Let them invent their own. I know it will taste disgusting, you know it will be a waste of ingredients and they know you will hate it, but letting them add bits of this and dashes of that is a great way to get them excited about cooking. If it’s something like soup or a fruit cake it doesn’t really matter what they chuck in so long as it’s edible.
Get them to clear up. Every chef worth his or her Michelin star knows that the cooking is only half the job, and that it’s the cleaning up afterwards and storing the leftovers that really separates the good eggs from the lazy yolk. When your children see how much work goes into putting everything back as it was, they might try to get some of the batter into the pan next time, instead of all over the hob.
And dinner is served! Again, the patience of a saint is required here, but children love serving up the slop they have cooked, and staring to see if anyone likes it. Best to pretend you do, but not enough that they will ever make it again.
What’s for Dinner?
This is a question that every mother is asked every few days, and often every few hours as her kids get older, and one to which she has to come up with a suitable answer. ‘Suitable’, in this case, means an answer that won’t generate any of the following: a long, weighty sighhhh; the word ‘Yuk!’; or a face screwed up and disgusted as though you just said ‘Pig shit and fried toenail clippings again, darling’.
Much better is to be able to say something that makes them appear to be pleased you bothered to go shopping and prepare the meal. When I go to all this trouble for them (and it is for them—when I’m on my own I am quite happy to eat the same dish for four days on the trot or live on toast and Marmite if it means I don’t have to cook) and I am met with anything other than gratitude and pleasure, I want to throw my apron at the nearest ungrateful member of my family and shout: ‘Well if you hate what I’m cooking so much, then YOU come up with something better! Your ten minutes start now—I’m off to read the paper!’
Given that this kind of storm-out would result in my children dying of scurvy, my husband turning into a ton of lard and all our money going to the local curry house, I generally just tell them to go away and come back when it’s ready.
Which brings us to what you can rustle up in the frantic ten minutes between getting in from swimming lessons and having your starving family raid the biscuit tin. This is where some clever preparation and a Top Five Quick Family Meals list can save your bacon, so to speak. But hang on—what’s that I see below? Well, if it isn’t a Top Five Quick Family Meals list! Hope they like it…
1. Pasta and something. Pasta is a very safe bet, and you can chuck almost anything on it to create what I would class as a meal. Some ‘and something’ options could include the very simple pesto and grated cheese, the more exciting fried bacon, tomatoes and mushrooms, and even the extremely daring tuna and sweet corn (wow!). None of the above should take more than ten minutes, even if you fry a couple of onions and make a salad to go with it.
2. Baked potatoes. Again, hardly a culinary delicacy, but with a little effort you can stray away from the baked beans and grated cheese served from a Jacket Potato Van near you and venture into the magical worlds of chilli, or bacon and blue cheese, or grilled vegetables. Open your fridge and let your imagination run wild.
3. Pizza. If you have the time, or you want to turn it into a fun cooking/bonding session with your kids at the weekend, then make the pizza bases yourself and freeze them. If you don’t have enough time, or, as ninety per cent of us honest mothers will admit, cannot be bothered, then buy pizza bases and add the toppings yourself. Don’t pay more for the ones with tomato and cheese on already—it only takes two minutes to spread it on yourself, it means the cheese hasn’t become indented in the dough, and it’s all fresher. Decorating pizzas is one of the best ways to involve your kids with cooking, and we always put on a thick layer of frozen peas and sweet corn, so I know they are getting their vitamin C too. Chuck on bits of ham or sliced salami, tuna, chicken, any vegetables—just about anything really—and then cover with a good layer of grated cheese to keep it all together. It’ll taste great and look pretty, which helps.
4. Stir fry. If any meal was designed for busy families who want to eat well, then this is it. Stir fry means quick, healthy and no tricky cooking techniques: just slice up any vegetables you find lying around your fridge or vegetable store (anything from trusted carrots and peas to broccoli, bean sprouts, peppers and courgettes will do) and fry then for about four minutes in a very hot wok with some oil. Chuck in some thinly sliced meat if you want to (chicken is a favourite in our house, but beef is also great. Fish can fall apart somewhat), add soy sauce for great flavour and colour, and it’s move over Ken Hom.
5. Fish. Don’t panic. This isn’t difficult or time-consuming fish. Fish is one of the healthiest things you can eat, and for children it’s just Wonder Food, but it comes with a certain amount of fear, from the ‘Ooooh, no. I couldn’t manage that’