The Bad Mother: The addictive, gripping thriller that will make you question everything. Amanda Brooke
to burn, Lucy prepared to give up. ‘There!’ she said, pressing Adam’s fingers over the exact spot. ‘Did you feel that?’
Lucy wanted him to say yes. She needed the bond between them to be stronger than ever, but she could tell by Adam’s face that he hadn’t picked up the gentle flutter of butterfly wings inside her belly. She wouldn’t have minded a lie.
‘No,’ he said, tugging his hand away when she tried to keep it in place. Seeing the look of disappointment on his wife’s face, he added, ‘She needs to build up those footballer’s legs first. It won’t be long, and I can wait.’
When Adam returned to the kitchen, Lucy stayed where she was. She wished she had her husband’s patience but she was desperate to get past the last months of her pregnancy and, if she were honest, those first months after the birth. She wanted to be free of her raging hormones so that she could be reassured that they were the cause of her problems and nothing else. She was holding on by her fingernails to the hope that by the time Adam set off on the Sandstone Trail, normal service would be resumed.
‘How are you feeling, love?’ Viv asked as she passed the bread basket across the table. ‘No more morning sickness?’
‘I’m much better, thanks,’ Lucy said, tearing a piece of the bread over her soup bowl and letting the warm butter ooze between her fingers. She wished Adam’s mum would allow her guests to butter their own bread, or have it dry as Lucy preferred, but Viv liked to pre-empt her son’s needs and it didn’t seem to occur to her that his wife’s tastes might differ. Licking her fingers, she added, ‘But you should have seen my ankles last night. I’ve spent the last couple of days on my feet in my studio and I couldn’t have put on a pair of shoes if I’d tried.’
‘I told her they reminded me of elephant legs,’ Adam offered.
‘No, you didn’t!’ Lucy said before she had the chance to wonder if this was another conversation she had missed. A smile crept across Adam’s face and she relaxed. ‘You might have thought it, but you’re too much of a gentleman to say such a thing.’
Adam’s smile disappeared behind a soup spoon. He took a sniff of the gloopy liquid and his brow furrowed. ‘Did you put something different in this, Mum?’
Viv’s head snapped up. ‘No, it’s the same as always. Except, well, I did add a bit of leftover sweetcorn, but that’s all.’
Adam gave Lucy a knowing look. When they had first met, he had warned her about his mum’s cooking, and although they had fallen into a routine of visiting each of their mums on alternate Sundays, the difference was marked. Lucy’s mum made the perfect Sunday roast with enough trimmings to feed an army whilst Viv provided simpler fare, which was almost always soup. Adam told Lucy they were getting off lightly, but it didn’t stop her worrying about what might be in the muddy green liquid that had been blended beyond recognition. She preferred to wait until Adam had tasted it first.
‘At least you’ve passed the halfway mark,’ Viv said to Lucy. ‘It’s surprising how much a baby takes it out of you though.’ Lucy looked up in time to catch a glance between Adam and his mother. ‘You can’t expect to feel like you did before. Being a mum is a big adjustment and your body often races ahead before your head has a chance to catch up. It’s all perfectly natural.’
Lucy’s smile was tight as she realized Adam had snitched on her. How was she meant to feel less anxious when he was worrying twice as much on her behalf, and inviting others to join him? In the last few days, she had checked and double-checked everything she did and, so far, her efforts had been rewarded.
‘I’ve been a bit scatter-brained lately but nothing worth mentioning,’ she said, aiming her last comment at Adam.
‘How’s work going, son?’ Viv asked to ease over the awkwardness.
‘Couldn’t be better. There are problems as always but Ranjit trusts me to fix them. I don’t think it’ll be long before I’m leading my own projects, which will put a few noses out of joint.’
Viv’s eyebrows raised. ‘Naomi’s, by any chance?’
‘Naomi?’ Lucy asked as she scanned her memory for the name. She had met many of Adam’s colleagues at the various social gatherings Ranjit organized to keep his team tight. Adam wasn’t keen on such events but he put on a good show and it was paying off. She knew that. So why didn’t she know about someone called Naomi?
‘The new software developer?’ Adam offered. With a surreptitious roll of the eyes, he returned his attention to his mum. ‘She thought she could wow Ranjit with her new ideas that were obviously meant to show how archaic the rest of us are. It’s taken a while for her to realize that the boss is more impressed with people who pull together than trip each other up. He wants staff who offer stability, at home as well as at work, and that’s what he thinks I can offer, thanks to you two.’
‘And the baby when she comes along,’ Viv said, her eyes dancing.
‘She?’ Lucy asked. She was developing a crick in her neck from the looks she kept shooting at Adam. He had called in to see his mum earlier in the week to drop off her birthday present. She lived five miles away in Moreton and the detour was a minor one in comparison to the trek to visit Lucy’s mum. He hadn’t stayed long, but apparently long enough to fill Viv in on all the intimate details of their lives.
‘I couldn’t not tell her,’ Adam said. ‘Your mum knows and it seemed only fair.’
‘Oh dear, it wasn’t a secret, was it?’ Viv asked.
‘Why? Who else have you told?’ asked Adam, his sudden change of tone undeservingly harsh, given that he had been the one to spread the news further afield.
‘It’s OK,’ said Lucy when she saw the alarm on Viv’s face. ‘We might as well let everyone know. I call the baby her all the time and if anyone’s going to slip up, it’s going to be me.’ She watched Adam tap his fingers against his thumb, and when his agitation didn’t ease, she pushed the conversation on. ‘How was your birthday, Viv? Did you like our present?’
Lucy had bought her mother-in-law a long, woollen cardigan in a beautiful Tahitian blue that would brighten up some of the dark dresses and tunics Viv tended to wear. It was easy to forget that her mother-in-law wasn’t much older than her own mum. Her dour appearance disguised the fact that she was a good-looking woman, with a stunning shade of silver hair that Lucy envied. She wished she knew Viv well enough to tell her so and hoped the baby would bring them closer.
‘It’s lovely,’ Viv said. ‘I’ll save it for best.’
‘You’ve got a lot of flowers,’ remarked Adam.
Lucy had counted four vases dotted around the open-plan living space in Viv’s small bungalow. The blooms were mostly lilies and roses in complementary colours that suggested they were from the same bouquet. On the far side of the room, she had also noticed a line of birthday cards on the bookshelf. She could see the one Adam had picked out for his mum, dwarfed by its neighbour with a similar dedication to a loving mother. Although Lucy was unlikely to ever meet Adam’s brother, the signs were everywhere that he was rebuilding his relationship with his mother, and the look of apology Viv gave her eldest son was one Lucy had seen many times before. Whatever mistakes Viv had made in the past, she remained painfully aware of the damage she had caused.
‘Did you do anything nice on the day?’ Lucy asked to break the silence. She spoke louder than normal, as she often did with Viv. It was too easy to think she was addressing an elderly relative.
‘I was in work but I went for a pub lunch with the girls and the boss paid for it all. For an accountant, he can be quite generous.’
Adam dropped his spoon into the soup bowl with a loud plop and pushed it away. He had a playful expression on his face when he said, ‘Can he