The Dictionary of Body Language. Joe Navarro
under the influence of drugs or alcohol, an observer will want to take other behaviors into consideration, such as slurred speech or slowness to respond.
66. LOOKING ASKANCE—Looking askance (sideways) is often used to show a person’s doubt, reluctance to commit, disregard, suspiciousness, or even contempt. It is a universal look that reflects disbelief, concerns, or incredulity.
67. LOOKING AT CEILING OR SKY—We often see this dramatic look upward at the sky, with the head tilted back, when suddenly things seem impossible or a person has had a run of bad luck. We see this in sports, such as when a golfer misses a putt. It is a look of disbelief, as if imploring someone on high, in the heavens, to help us or take pity on us. This behavior does have some utility; stress causes tension of the neck, which this position can help relieve by stretching the sternocleidomastoid muscles of the neck.
68. LOOKING FOR ACCEPTANCE—When individuals lack confidence or lie, they tend to scrutinize their audience, scanning faces to see if they are being believed. This behavior is not necessarily demonstrative of deception, only of seeking acceptance for what is said. A rule of thumb: the truth teller merely conveys, while the liar often tries to convince.
69. EYES LOWERED—This is different from eye avoidance in that the individual does not break eye contact but rather shows deference, piety, humility, or contriteness by slightly lowering the eyes so that eye contact is not direct or intense. This is often culture based, and we see it frequently with children who are taught not to look back at elders or authority figures when being chastised. Black and Latino children are often taught to look down as a form of respect, which should in no circumstances be confused for an attempt to deceive. In Japan it is rude to stare intently at the eyes of a person you meet for the first time; at a minimum, the eyelids must be lowered out of social deference.
70. SAD EYES—Eyes look sad, dejected, or depressed when the upper eyelids droop and seem to have no energy. The look may be similar, however, to eyelids drooping from fatigue.
71. LOOKING AWAY—Looking away when conversing has to be viewed in context. When there is psychological comfort, such as when talking to friends, we may feel relaxed enough to look away as we tell a story or remember something from the past. Many individuals find looking away helps them recall details. Looking away is not an indication of deception or lying.
72. LONG STARE—In conversations, silence is often accompanied by a long stare. It can be directed at a person or at something in the distance; it merely indicates that the person is in deep thought or processing information.
73. SQUINTING—Squinting is an easy way to register displeasure or concern, especially when we hear or see something we don’t like. Some people squint whenever they hear something bothersome, making this an accurate reflection of their feelings. But keep in mind that we also squint when we are simply focusing on something or trying to make sense of something we have heard, so context is crucial in interpreting this behavior.
74. SQUINTING (SLIGHT)—Often when we are subduing anger we will squint slightly with lowered eyelids. This behavior (narrowing of the slits of the eyes) must be considered in context with other behaviors such as facial tension or, in extreme circumstances, the making of a fist.
75. STARING AGGRESSIVELY—A stare can intimidate or serve as the prelude to an altercation. Aggression is signaled by the laser-like focus on the eyes, with no attempt to look away or even blink. Interestingly, other primates also engage in this behavior when observing behaviors that are not tolerated or when there is about to be a physical confrontation.
76. ANGRY EYES—Anger is usually displayed by a constellation of facial cues beginning with the distinctive narrowing of the eyes near the nose (like this: ˃ ˂ ), coupled with a wrinkled or dilated nose and sometimes the pulling back of the lips to reveal clenched teeth.
77. EYES WIDENING (STIFF)—Eyes that remain wide usually indicate stress, surprise, fear, or a significant issue. If the eyes remain stiffly wide longer than usual, something is definitely wrong. This is usually caused by an external stimulus.
78. EYE ADORNMENT—Since the time of the Egyptian pyramids, women and men across the globe have adorned their eyes (eyelids, under the eye, the sides, etc.) with a variety of colors to make themselves more aesthetically appealing. Using inks, dyes, minerals, and oils, people have made this part of their cultural traditions, and it has been passed down to our modern society for a reason: it works. We are attracted to eyes, even more so when they are adorned with colors. We are also attracted to long, thick eyelashes—something that mostly women but some men accentuate to make themselves more appealing.
Cute ears, little ears, sagging ears, deformed ears, big ears, perforated ears, adorned ears. Our ears stick out—sometimes quite literally—and serve some obvious practical functions, from collecting information through sound waves to helping us dissipate heat. But the ears have other utilities you might not have thought about, offering significant nonverbal communication. We know from research that in the early stages of a relationship, lovers spend time studying each other’s ears—how they are shaped, how warm they are, how they respond to human touch and even emotions. The ears communicate much more than we think, and in ways that can be quite surprising.
79. EARLOBE PULLING OR MASSAGING—Pulling on or massaging the earlobe tends to have a subtle, soothing effect when we are stressed or merely contemplating something. I also associate earlobe rubbing with doubt, hesitation, or weighing of options. In some cultures it means that a person has reservations or is not sure about what is being said. Actor Humphrey Bogart was notorious for playing with his earlobe as he pondered questions.
80. EAR FLUSHING OR BLUSHING—Sudden, noticeable flushing of the skin of the ear, as with other parts of the body (face, neck) may be caused by anger, embarrassment, hormonal changes, reactions to medicine, or autonomic arousal caused by fear or anxiety. The skin covering the ear turns pink, red, or purplish. The skin might also feel hot to the touch. Just having one’s personal space violated might cause this reaction. Most people have no control over skin blushing (hyperemia) and for some it is very embarrassing.
81. EAR LEANING—Turning or leaning our ear toward a speaker conveys that we are listening intently, we want something repeated, or we are hard of hearing. This may be followed by cupping of the ear to literally collect more sound. In dating, we will allow someone we like intimately to draw near our ear, especially when it is extended in that person’s direction.
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